


Heart For Trade

by CrazedwiththeCullens



Category: Twilight (Movies), Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Cats, Dogs, Homelessness, Horror, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Oral Sex, Prostitution, Rape, Rape Recovery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-30
Updated: 2016-03-17
Packaged: 2018-05-17 03:01:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 53,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5851534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrazedwiththeCullens/pseuds/CrazedwiththeCullens
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carlisle is on his way home in the Napa Valley California when he picks up a hitch hiker who turns out to be much more than he seems. Will Carlisle win his trust? Will Edward find the security he so longs for?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Pick Up

**Author's Note:**

> OK, this is my first Carlisle/Edward story. I have toyed around with it for quite a few months, but I'm having a case of serious writers block with my other works so I thought I'd give this a go and see if I can get back into the swing of things.
> 
> I was inspired for this work by KellanCougar's amazing "Let the Rain Come Down" which I would encourage everyone to read, it is so beautiful and sinsitively written.
> 
> All characters are SM's of course, I've just had fun playing with them.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carlisle is on his way home in the Napa Valley California when he picks up a hitch hiker who turns out to be much more than he seems. Will Carlisle win his trust? Will Edward find the security he so longs for?

Carlisle was driving through Napa Valley on his way home from a market day as he usually did. It was a pleasant sunny mid-march Sunday afternoon about 6 pm the Sun was getting ready to set and the few clouds in the sky were about to turn florescent pink.

As he drove along he noticed someone hitch-hiking further up the road.

‘Good luck’ thought Carlisle. He never picked up hitchers… he had heard too many stories. As the stranger got closer Carlisle noticed that he was rather scantily dressed for this time of year. Though it was a beautiful day he surely should have had a jacket for when it got colder as it would in the evening, especially if he’s hitching. He also noticed, but didn’t signify, that he had no bag with him. What Carlisle really noticed was that the guy was hot! Not just your usual ‘oh he’s cute’ hot but really ass spanking ‘fuck me now’ hot.

‘whoa matee if I was going to make an exception for someone it would be you… couldn’t wait to see how you would pay for your ride… maybe you could ride me? Or I could ride that impressive bulge you have.’ Carlisle thought. A thousand images of them conjoined in the back seat of his car came to mind. And a filthy grin spread across his face. ‘yeah in your dreams Carlisle … that guy is WAY out of your league. More likely to report you to the police for sexual harassment then anything else… probably got a fuck hot boyfriend if he’s gay… which by the way he walks I think he is… though God knows I’ve made THAT mistake before.’

Carlisle found himself talking to himself a lot… ‘only way to get a sensible answer’ was one excuse… sad and alone was another.

Carlisle drove passed the hiker, trying not to slow down too much. The hiker noticed him staring and looked hopeful. Carlisle felt bad… he continued driving for a little way... till the guy was out of sight round the bend. Then an idea came into his head. A really dumb one. He’d do a U-turn and check the guy out again... he was too good to miss. Carlisle turned the car easily as there was little traffic at this time of the day. And drove back. From this vantage point he got a great view of the guy’s perfect ass.

‘oh I bet there’s heaven in that butt. I wonder how tight it is? Yeah and like you’re ever going to find out.’ Carlisle drove past again, then when he was round the next corner turned again. ‘great the guy is going to think I’m a stalker. Probably take my number and report me… God I’m a fucking idiot.’

Carlisle then drove back. There was something suggestive about the way the guy was walking… hips swaying too much and his butt stuck out… ‘no way could there be a hooker in the Napa… not in this area.’ But Carlisle was really desperate. It was month’s since he had a decent fuck and well… Worth a try…’ tough he was sure he was going to regret it.

Carlisle slowed down and the guy picked up his routine. He could tell by the way Carlisle was looking at him that this was a pickup.

“Hey, which way you going.” Was the most original thing Carlisle could think of as he wound down the window.

“Whatever way you are.” The stranger cooed in an effeminate voice…

“I’m heading home… but I could drop you somewhere.” Said Carlisle. ‘No NO NOOOO!’ He screamed at himself in his head. He always did this, missed the pickup because he was too polite.

The stranger looked at him puzzled… ‘First timer?’ he thought. ‘Or a creep.’ But he thought he had been walking for hours and was tired… home sounded good, at least more comfortable than a back seat and if he got some money out of it, enough for some transport back to Frisco, all the best. “Homes fine.” He cooed again. Picking up the suggestiveity by readjusting himself unnecessarily. The guy was younger than most of his clients, but still in his late 30’s and not well built then not fat just a few extra pounds… not anything to get hard over; not really his type. Still he had had worse… a lot worse.

Carlisle swallowed and thought ‘holly fuck this is actually happening.’

“Jump in.” he managed to strangle out with a high pitched voice. The stranger just smiled and climbed in trying to cover the wince he made when he sat down.

“So where do you live?” asked the stranger.

“Small town of Vere, about 20 minutes from here. That ok?”

“Sure.”

They continued the journey in silence for a few minutes. Carlisle was getting nervous. He though he had just picked a guy up… but wasn’t sure. Was this a pick up or a trade? Did he need to pay? Carlisle raked his brain to think what to say. If it was just a guy that wanted a place to sleep and would provide certain services in exchange, he didn’t want to insult him by inferring he was a hooker. He might change his mind and decide to try his luck with someone else. If it were a hooker? Fuck!

“I’ll need to stop by the store to get some cash out.” Was the best Carlisle could come up with? He thought that if it were a pick-up he wouldn’t care. If it were a hooker he might ask for it in certain denominations? Maybe.

“Fine.” Was all he got in response. Fact load of help that was.

“Can I get you anything while I’m there?” Carlisle fished.

The stranger was getting tired of this. He really had picked up a dummy this time… or was he trying to beat him down. Force him to fuck for a roof over his head? Well he had fucked for less in the past… one more time wouldn’t mater. He thought he probably could over power the guy. Though he was pretty solid. He was losing his patient, he had had a shit of a weekend, even worse than usual so he decided to be blunt “Other than the money?”

Realisation dawned on Carlisle ‘s face. His worse suspicions were confirmed. Though really given what the guy looked like why else would a hot guy agree to go home with him. Still he had paid for sex before. He would be happy to with this cutie.

“Umm, I hate to sound indelicate.” Carlisle continued, the stranger tried to suppress rolling his eyes but failed. “How much?”

“What do you want. It’s $15 for a hand job, $30 for a blow job and $80 for a fuck… with a condom.” He said impatiently.

Carlisle couldn’t believe his luck… that was Sooo cheap. This guy definitely wasn’t local. They charged $200 an hour. “Is all night extra?” Carlisle felt stupid for asking… usually that bill could go into the thousands... way out of his bank balance. Maybe the guy expected to be dropped somewhere after the fuck…

“Depends how many times we do it…” he said shortly.

“Oh…” Carlisle said. He took in the sight that was sitting beside him. The guy’s clothes; skin tight black jeans and a light blue T a size too small were neat but old. His trainers well used. His hair longish and slightly unkempt. Definitely not like any prostitute that Carlisle had seen; they usually wore good clothes and were well kept. He wondered if this kid was a rent boy who got into more than he could handle… maybe someone from Frisco? “Probably one tonight and one in the morning if that’s ok?” asked Carlisle naively.

“Fine.” Said the stranger wondering what he had got himself into.

“Shall we say $200?” Carlisle ventured.

The stranger looked at the driver trying to sum him up. Either his math was way off or he was planning something kinky… he could do kinky… he had had to do just about everything just to survive. The only thing he wouldn’t do was raw… though occasionally he didn’t get a choice when he was on the streets. Waiting for the blood test results was nerve racking. Fortunately he had dodged a death sentence. “I only do it with a rubber.” He clarified.

“Of course… how much is your life worth.” Carlisle said… “I mean… I didn’t mean to infer you had anything… if you did the rubber would be pointless… I mean…. Oh fuck.” Said Carlisle banging the wheel in frustration. He felt like a prize goose.

The stranger kept staring at him, trying to sum him up. ‘oh fuck don’t tell me I have a virgin?’ he thought. “First time? With a man.” he added.

“No.” Carlisle said emphatically. “First time I’ve done anything like this for a long while though… I mean... pay for…” Carlisle trailed off.

“Oh… Boyfriend dumped you?” the stranger asked thinking small talk might make the driver calm down a bit… they were doing 80 m/h through a heavily winding road with dense forest on either side. He didn’t want to become another road kill stat.

“No… never had one… long story. Well, who would have me.” Carlisle added bitterly.

“I’ve had worse.” Said the stranger… feeling a little sorry for the guy. Carlisle let out a huff at Edwards comment. It was scarcely a compliment, but Carlisle thought better then he deserved from such a hot young guy. The stranger suddenly realised that he had insulted his customer, which might lead him to being dumped even further in the middle of no-where then he was before. “Fuck… sorry. I didn’t mean to…” he stuttered, trying to thing what to say that didn’t make it worse. If he said his driver was God’s gift to men that would add insult to injury.

Edward realized he was useless at small talk; well he never had to in Frisco, it was just stripping, groping and grinding, the less he said the better the clients liked it they were usually in a hurry and just wanted to get at the goods and get their rocks off as fast as possible, Edward wondered if they even noticed he was human…

“I’m realistic… I’ve had to be. Gay guy’s never hold back in a free assessment of your appearance.” Said Carlisle bitterly.

The stranger felt sorry for him. This had never been his experience. But then his experience was rather squed.

The silence continued.

“Look, I don’t know how these things are supposed to go, but I’m Carlisle.” Said the driver suddenly.

“Tony.” said the passenger. Carlisle looked at him sceptically… he didn’t look like an ‘Tony’ The passenger looked at Carlisle again… thinking ‘how didn’t he know…’

“It’s ok… I get you won’t tell me your real name.” Said Carlisle trying to pacify the situation.

“No it’s ok… I guess it’s no big secret… and I guess you told me your real name.”

“There are letters to me in the umbrella holder next to you to prove it.” said Carlisle, the passenger pulled an unopened one from the bank out. ‘Carlisle Anthony Cullen’

“I’m Edward… Edward Anthony Masen.”

“Suits you more… I like it.” said Carlisle, Edward smiled. “Strange co-incidence we have the same middle names...” Carlisle injected to try and get the conversation going again to relieve the nervous tension.

Edward just said “Yeah.” Not trusting himself after his last gaff.

“Look, what’s your favourite food? I was going to do a roast tonight.” Carlisle lied he didn’t know why all of a sudden he wanted to make Edward feel at home… maybe because he would be the first man who ever bothered to stay the night? “But if you prefer I can get you a couple of burgers at the store… there not bad.” Said Carlisle.

“A Roast?” said Edward disbelieving. He hadn’t had one of those since he was kicked out of his parent’s house 5 years ago. “Why would you do that?”

“You need to eat… I take it you haven’t eaten today?” Carlisle guessed right. Edward nodded cautiously. “Then you’re hungry... and we’ll be burning quite a few calories tonight.” Carlisle joked. Edward didn’t laugh. “Fuck I’m sorry…” said Carlisle. “Look… if you don’t mind me saying so… you look pretty beat. If you don’t want to…” Carlisle’s voice trailed away letting the inference hang in the air. “That’s ok.”

“What?” Edward couldn’t believe his ears. He got suspicious… what was this guy up to? Did he want to rape him while he slept through the night, was that his thing. Edward woken up being pushed into the bed and force fucked…  “Why?” he said warily.

“I don’t know what happened to you to get you out here. But I bet it wasn’t fun. You look like a nice kid. I… I don’t want to abuse you.” Said Carlisle kicking himself for his conscience. What was it about this kid that brought out his conscience…? He should just buy him a burger, let him eat it, then fuck him all night because he’d never get the opportunity to fuck someone that hot again in his life… now he was blowing it all and not in a good way.

Edward looked askance. “Why… don’t like the goods?” Edward asked bitterly. He had had a few people say he was too unkempt to charge as much as he did and try and beat him down… he usually held firm, but that was in the city, where he had his bedsit to go back to. He was lost in a strange area in a stranger’s car at his mercy… could he afford to be picky… what if this guy takes him out into the middle of nowhere rapes him and kills him… fuck what had Edward got himself into.

“No... not at all… that’s just it… you’re the hottest guy I’ve seen in a long while. I SOoo much want to fuck you. But that’s also it. I want to have pleasant memories of tonight. Not feel like shit every time I remember them. Sorry. I guess I’m just being stupid. How did you get out here anyway?” Said Carlisle changing the subject.

“Got booked by a bunch of swells. Said they were coming up here for a conference. Wanted some fun. Said they’d pay me a thousand bucks for the weekend… I couldn’t refuse that kind of money… They got me up here last night and started… first one at a time... then two… then all of them at once; they weren’t gentle… one of them wasn’t small either… they went all night. Tag teaming me… Then they said I wasn’t any good, had lied to them, they took me out to the middle of nowhere and dumped me. Took my bag and didn’t pay…” Edward said bitterly… all his worldly possessions; which weren’t much, were in that bag… they would mean stuff all to them, probably just thrown away, but to him. He tried to stop tears from welling… cursing himself… Carlisle was his only chance to get home and he was blowing it blubbing like a little girl.

“Fuck… they gang raped you… did you get their plate number… report it to the police?” Carlisle said his blood beginning to boil. That someone could do that to a kid… so shy and innocent for what he did… fuck he’d like to cut their knackers off with blunt sheers.

“What’s the use… my word against five of them… who would the cops believe?” Edward said bitterly.

Carlisle reached out and placed a comforting hand on Edward’s knee. Edward jerked his knee away instinctively… he kicked himself for doing it.

“Sorry… that was inappropriate.” Said Carlisle withdrawing his hand.

“Inappropriate… fuck you’re going to fuck me… what’s wrong with you!” Edward exploded before he could stop himself… he hadn’t slept for 48 hours had walked for god knows how many miles… his ass killed him every bump they went over and he couldn’t hold it in anymore. “Sorry.” He quickly said.

“No, I deserved that.” Said Carlisle. They pulled up outside the store. “Look we’ll talk about it over dinner. Should I get you burgers?”

“You mean you really want to give me a roast dinner?” asked Edward in disbelief.

“Yes… I have been alone for a long time… I’d like to share a meal with you… if that’s ok?”

“Yeah.” Said Edward. Carlisle smiled and got out of the car. Edward had half a mind to jump out and run… but where would he go. It would be dark soon, and as he felt this morning it gets damn cold up here at night. He wasn’t dressed for sleeping rough… he didn’t think he would need to, he thought bitterly. He could freeze to death at worst… the very least is get sick and not be able to work so loose his bedsit and go back on the streets… No. Even if this Carlisle bloke was weird he was $200 and a bed to sleep in and food in his stomach…. He had to. He just hoped that this guy wouldn’t trick him like the others.

Carlisle returned and climbed in. After checking no-one was looking he handed Edward four $50 notes.

“But… we haven’t done anything.” Said Edward staring at the money.

“I thought you guys like to get paid first…” said Carlisle then immediately biting his tongue. “Sorry…”

“No your right… but…”

“Look… whatever you don’t earn you can pay me back later…” said Carlisle insincerely. Edward looked askance. “Look… I don’t think you’re in any shape to have anything else shoved up you… in the morning we might talk blow jobs… but we’ll see.” Edward went to hand back the money but Carlisle raised his hand in refusal.

“I was wondering if you would earn it in another way?” asked Carlisle. Edward’s eyes narrowed… here it comes… the sick idea… thank God he had money in his hand and they were parked. The store was crowded; he could make a run for it if need be. Carlisle had just made a big tactical error if he was into weird stuff.

“It’s OK to say no, because it sounds pretty lame…” continued Carlisle. Edward glanced at where the door handle was.

“I’d like just for tonight and tomorrow morning…” here it comes, get ready to bolt. “For you to pretend to be my boyfriend…” Carlisle lowered his head ashamed at what he had just asked.

“What?” Edward hadn’t expected this… “What does that mean.” He asked suspiciously.

“I don’t know. Never had one. I guess we eat. Talk. Watch TV. I don’t know, whatever you like. I’d ask you to sleep with me. But I have a spare room if you would prefer.”

“I don’t kiss.” Said Edward thinking he should add some ground rules while he still had the chance to make a getaway.

“I guessed that. It’s a shame… because I so want to kiss you. But of course… oh fuck, forget it. I’m just a dumb old fart. We’ll go home and eat and you can get a good night’s rest and I’ll take you to Frisco in the morning.”

“What?” Edward was saying that word more in the course of half an hour then he did normally in a year.

“I guess you come from Frisco. Probably Mission district?” Carlisle said, Edward nodded carefully. “You’re a long way from home. I meant drop you at a corner store or something… I’m not trying to stalk you.”

“Why would you do that.”

“It’s only a 3 hour round trip and I’d sleep better if I dropped you off.” Edward looked at him suspiciously. Carlisle thought it was like trying to tame a stray cat… he so wished that he had longer to try… he also wondered why he was bothering. This kid would get a hot boyfriend one day… possibly had one now. And he would never look at Carlisle twice. “Do we have a deal?” prodded Carlisle.

“I guess so… you’re not into anything kinky are you.” Edward again couldn’t catch his tongue but he was still nervous about this guy.

“No… blow jobs and plain anal. Missionary position is my favourite…” Edward looked suspicious still.

“Oh there is one thing I should ask…” here it comes Edward thought. “What do you think about dogs?” asked Carlisle.

‘Holy fuck… he wants his dog to fuck me? Jesus this guy is sick…wait…. Hold on… no one thinks like that… I hope. Just ask before your fuck it up.’ Thought Edward. “Why, what about dog’s.” Edward asked suspiciously.

“Well I have one… she’s a bit over the top… not vicious, but she barks at strangers and… well she might scare you if you don’t like them. I can lock her in a room if you would feel more comfortable.”

Edward released the breath he didn’t realise he was holding. “Oh… yeah… dogs are fine.” It was Carlisle’s turn to look suspiciously at Edward. Edward squirmed in his seat which hurt his tender butt, he wondered if he had just blown it. Carlisle’s gaze softened shortly though. Carlisle thought who was he to judge this kid… the things he must have seen… he had a right to be suspicious.

Carlisle turned on the engine and looked at Edward razing his eyebrows questioningly. Edward nodded and hoped he wouldn’t regret it.

They did a U-turn in the carpark and drove a couple of blocks. Then on the other edge of the small town Carlisle rounded a corner and pulled into the drive of a small house. It was fairly isolated which made Edward nervous, but it had a neighbour about 100 yards away so he could leg it if things got out of hand.

“Here we are. My humble abode.” Said Carlisle parking the car in the carport and getting out.

Edward followed. They went to the back door. “Better stand back.” Said Carlisle. “Esme will be in full bat shit crazy mode.” Edward smirked at this. Sure enough when Carlisle opened the door a black Labrador burst out and jumped all over Carlisle not noticing Edward. Carlisle talked to the dog in ‘dog ease’ about him being sorry for leaving her and so on. Edward thought he was nuts. The dog’s attention was soon distracted by the unfamiliar smell. She ran over to Edward and started barking. Carlisle chased her around like an idiot yelling at her and trying to get her collar, every time he got close she somehow managed to slip through his hands thinking it a game; finally, he grabbed her.

“I’ll stick her on her rope she can be outside for a while.” Said Carlisle dragging the dog and putting her on her lead.  Edward smiled nervously as he pressed up against the wall of the house to avoid the dog.

Returning brushing hair off his leg Carlisle said “Sorry… she’ll get used to you… she’s just a bit protective.” Carlisle looked at Edward’s terrified face. “Fuck I’m so sorry.” Said Carlisle placing a hand on Edwards shoulder. “Come inside.” Edward hurried in.

The house was comfortable, not palatial nor Spartan. Carlisle showed him to the modest spare bedroom which he offered for Edward to spend the night in if he felt uncomfortable sleeping in Carlisle’s bed with him. This confused Edward who presumed that once the meal was over his host would have thought twice about his concern over the state of Edward’s ass and Edward would spend most of the night face down getting his ass plundered. He didn’t care, in fact he would prefer it to this niceness which was so alien it gave him the creeps. He preferred plain motives, primal ones that could be easily explained.

“Would you like a shower?” dinner will take a couple of hours, I’ll get it on and whip up a sandwich to keep you going.” Edward looked confused but he was hungry.

Carlisle showed him to the modest bathroom and gave him a fresh towel. “I’ve got some track pants and a sweat shirt you can change into, they’ll be a little large for you but their warm and comfortable.… I’ll wash your clothes for you and they’ll be dry by the morning.” Said Carlisle.

“Why are you doing this?” asked Edward still confused.

“Because I like you… I know I’ll never have a chance in hell of getting a hot guy like you, but I’d like to pretend for a little while at least. You don’t mind?”

“No… just… not used to it.” Carlisle’s heart almost broke. This poor kid… he deserved so much better. He deserved someone to look after him. Even if that, hope against hope, could never be him.

 After Edward showered and changed he came out to the lounge room where Carlisle had fixed him a plate of sandwiches, Edward grabbed a slice and ate it in one go. The pot roast was on and starting to smell good.

“Want a beer?” asked Carlisle.

“Sure.” Replied Edward.

Carlisle came out of the kitchen with two bottles of Corona. Opened one and handed it to Edward who drank it enthusiastically. He hadn’t had beer in years… hadn’t been able to afford it.  After a few minutes the bottle was empty.

“Another?” Carlisle asked. Edward wondered if he should… it could be dangerous for him to get drunk in a strange house… but he didn’t know when he would get a beer again and two beers were scarcely going to have him in a stupor.

“Thanks.” he replied. Carlisle went and got another, and again opened it.

There was an awkward pause in the conversation and the beer made Edward a little bolder, “So do you want to tell me about yourself?” He ventured.

“Sure…” replied Carlisle. “I guess my main claim to fame is that I’m on the board of governors for Napa County.”

“Wow… sound’s impressive.”

“Well, it’s not really, were like the City council. We look after trash collection, streets, stuff like that. It’s rewarding but doesn’t pay a lot. Getting elected to it was really the high point in my life so far. It’s why I keep a fairly low profile with my sexuality. To pay the bills I’m on the staff of my State and US congressmen.”

“You’re a politician?”

“Yeah, pretty small beer, but I hope to run for office someday… that’s if my sexuality doesn’t kill that… things have changed a lot, but people are still pretty conservative round here.”

Edward knew nothing about politics or city councils so he really couldn’t add much to the conversation. “Were you born here?” asked Edward.

“No, over on the east coast. That’s another handicap I have, not being a local. I moved up here from Frisco about 10 years ago. It was good for my career, but killed my sex life.”

“I can imagine.” Replied Edward.

They talked about small stuff till the pot roast was ready. Carlisle served it at a small two-person supper table he had in the TV room so they could watch a movie if they felt like it while eating, it was also more intimate than the 10 seat dining table. Carlisle light two candles that Edward thought sweet.

The smells that assailed Edward made his mouth water even after demolishing the plate of sandwiches.

Carlisle opened a bottle of red and poured a glass each. Edward hadn’t drunk wine for years, his palate was shoot to hell and he thought it tasted awful. He must have made a face.

“You can stick to the beer if you’d prefer?” Carlisle offered.

“No, no this is fine.” Edward thought not wanting to sound rude.

“Really, it’s no problem, I should have asked first.” Said Carlisle getting up and returning with another corona. Edward downed the rest of his glass in one gulp so as not to taste it, he was used to not wasting things, even if he didn’t like their taste. He then took a swig of beer appreciatively.

“So tell me about yourself.” Said Carlisle after serving Edward, who vigorously hoed into the food.

“Not much to tell.” Replied Edward shoving another forkful in his mouth.

“Sorry, I guess it’s none of my business.” Carlisle averted his eyes.

“No… it’s ok.” Said Edward feeling slightly guilty. “Umm… You know what I do for a living. Before that I was on the streets… I found it was the easiest way to put a roof over my head.”

“I’m sorry.”

“NO... I mean it’s not fun but there are worse jobs… I know the tricks now… have regulars that treat me well and always pay what I ask.”

“What about the future. Not being awful but you won’t always be young and hot…”

“Yea, I’ve seen what happens to the old ones… the stuff they have to do to get half what I can… no. That’s what this weekend was about. I hoped to make enough to secure a bond so we could move to a better flat, one I could work from, get better customers who will pay more. Try and save up some for a rainy day… try and get some skills and get a proper job so I can get a life. But that’s all gone now.” He said dejectedly. Carlisle’s heart broke.

The ‘We’ wasn’t lost on him though… “You said ‘We’?” he pried knowing it was none of his business.

“Bella and Me.” That hit Carlisle like a punch to the guts… he never thought Edward could be straight, but he guessed straight guys sometimes are desperate enough to do anything.

“Your Girlfriend?” Carlisle tried not to sound bitter. He knew he never had a chance with Edward even if he was gay, but now he knew when Edward fucked him tomorrow with his eyes shut he would be pretending it’s his girlfriend’s pussy not his ass. The thought nearly made Carlisle sick.

“I guess you could call her my girlfriend; she certainly is a lady… the only lady in my life.” Carlisle must had looked peculiar because Edward suddenly laughed, then caught himself, realising it was rude. “She’s my cat…” Edward explained, Carlisle released the breath he didn’t know he was holding... “She jumped in the window one night during a storm and stayed. She is beautiful so I called her Bella. I have no idea what her real name is… When it’s too wet to work it gets kind of lonely and well, Bella’s great company… for a cat.”

“I know… their more loyal than humans… they don’t hurt you, or criticize you. Just love you.” Said Carlisle breathing a sigh of relief.

“You get it…”

“Yeah, I’ve been let down by people pretty badly… but nothing like what you must have been through…. Animals don’t do shit like that.”

“Yeah…”

“Fuck I forgot Esme…” said Carlisle jumping up from the table. “I’ll put her in the lounge, she can sleep in there.” After a lot of noise and banging Carlisle returned breathless. “She can smell you and is curious… but I think you have had enough for today without her jumping all over you. Maybe tomorrow you can meet again. So you were saying that you wanted to study, get a better job.” Said Carlisle returning to the table.

“Yeah... I hoped to be a lawyer when I was a kid… that’s not going to happen, but maybe a clerk or something… I don’t know.”

“There are some free course you can do. Online and stuff.”

Edward gave a bitter chuckle. “I can barely afford the light... I have no phone, no internet. And the way things are now I couldn’t get my head round studying. I’d drop out and then be on their black books, I’d blow my chance.”

An idea came into Carlisle’s head, it was stupid and never would work and probably would stuff up his chance of ever sleeping with Edward but his damned conscience demanded it. “Why don’t you move in with me…”

Edward looked suspiciously at Carlisle. “Move here?”

“Yes… I’ve got superfast internet, one of the perks of public office; you’d have food, a warm bed…” Carlisle could see what Edward was thinking. “oh no… I didn’t mean… I mean maybe every now and then… but I’d pay you of course… I’d be like your only client if you want to think about it that way…” Carlisle felt dirty just suggesting it…. how could he, he was suck a sick fuck. ‘Poor kid has been through hell and you can’t get your mind out of his pants…’ Carlisle changed tack, “I don’t know how Bella will go with Esme but there are plenty of rooms, we can keep them separate till they work something out.”

Edward didn’t know what to think. At first it seemed a wonderful idea. Good food, safety, he could change his life… but then what happened later, he would be dependent on him... it would soon be hit the sheets or out. At least he knows where he is in Frisco… out here…

“I’m sorry.” Said Carlisle. “I wasn’t thinking. I guess I get so lonely… I wanted to try and help you… If I had the money, I’d give you the bond money… but I’d prefer to try and rescue you form that industry… but then who am I to judge… Sorry.” He said and got up to check on the desert.

Edward didn’t like the way he felt about this… half of him was willing to give it a try… the other half heard claxons blearing saying get the hell out of here with your money while he’s in the kitchen.

Meanwhile Carlisle mentally yelled at himself in the kitchen. Once he was through he went and talked it over with Esme, which made him feel better, giving her a bone as a reward for her patience he then got another beer for Edward, plastered a smile on his face and headed out to the TV room again.

“Ummm, so how come you ended up on the streets?” Asked Carlisle.

Edward paused, weighting what to tell the stranger.

“Look, I’m sorry for asking so many personal questions, it’s none of my business.” Said Carlisle seeing his guests discomfort.

“No, it’s ok… just not used to talking about it.” explained Edward.

“You don’t have to, you’re my guest, you can talk about anything you like. Like what the Giants chances are.”

“Ummm, I don’t really follow sports. Um I used to, but it’s a bit difficult when you don’t have TV and can’t afford newspapers, and anyway, when you’re fighting for survival it all seems a bit frivolous.” Edward kicked himself for his last remark hoping he hadn’t insulted his host.

“Oh, that’s fine.” Said Carlisle picking up that Edward was chastising himself for his last remark. “I don’t really follow sports either; I just was trying to make small talk… I’m not very good at it.” Carlisle looked away embarrassed.

“Look, you asked how come I ended up on the streets.” Carlisle went to protest but Edward raised his hand to stop him. “It’s no big secret. I grew up in a nice middleclass family in a nice suburb. I went to a good school, got good grades, had friends… normal. Then I realized I was different. I was gay. I had a friend, a best friend Jake, and well… we became more then friends. He was my first and I was his. It was great. Then came the end of year proms. We had been selected to go to college in different states. I was off to the east coast, he was going too Berkley so we knew we wouldn’t see much of each other, in fact it might be the end of us; so we wanted to go to the prom together, a big final send off. So we decided to tell our parents we were gay. When I did, they said I was no longer their son and kicked me out of the house.” Edward said bitterly. Carlisle’s hand leapt across the table to hold Edwards which was an unusual feeling but reassuring.

Edward continued “I went round to see if Jake would put me up, he had had the same experience with his parent, but he wasn’t brave enough to go through with it. He told his parent he was going to go straight and take a girl to the prom. He was sorry, but it didn’t change the fact I had nowhere to go… so I slept in the park for a while, I had some money I could go to the laundromat, I finished school, but I needed my parents to cover my tuition… My parents had frozen my bank accounts so all my savings were gone. I tried to talk to some family friends but my parents had spread it around I was a crack addict and would say anything for my next fix so I got no help. When I ran out of money I was getting really hungry. One night a guy said he’d give me $10 bucks if I sucked him off. I was desperate. I did it. I soon found out where to go to get cheap food and to sell myself. A couple of the older guys taught me how to pick the loonies, how to keep safe. And well here I am.”

Carlisle was speechless… He’s imagined a broken home, parents that were drunks or druggies, Not this, not middle class hypocrisy and holy humbug…

Edward was getting nervous. “I’m clean and all… I’m always careful…” he thought Carlisle might be questioning their agreement, might want his money back.

“NO, I know you are… I just never heard anything that awful in my life…” said Carlisle… He then took a deep breath. “Will you let me help you…””

“What?”

“You said you had good grades, you were accepted into an ivy league college, you deserve much more than doing a clerk course… you could apply for a scholarship.  Not to an ivy league maybe, but a local college… I’ll help. There are free community refresher courses that I could enrol you in so you could get back up to speed…”

“No… that was my old life… you have no idea what I have sunk to… my mind, it’s not like it used to be, something has changed, I couldn’t think like that now, I only think to survive.”

“Because you have to, if you were some place safe and warm, where you don’t need to worry about food or shelter… I’m not saying you hit the books tomorrow. Take six months just to chill, get your head straight again. Then baby steps… I’m in no hurry.”

“Yeah, and what’s the catch.”

“There’s no catch…”

“And what will you be doing to my ass all that time”

“I’m sorry… look I can understand you wanting to give up the industry all together. You’ll be a house guest; your own room… I won’t touch you.”

“Yeah I bet. What is it, some kinky shit you’re into, think I might say no so want me trapped here as a slave?” Edward had had one too many beers, his tongue had been loosened, everything he had thought but avoided saying came spilling out.

“No…” said Carlisle horrified. “No, I never. I mean before when I said, it was going to be normal. But I take it back, I’ll even put a lock on your bedroom door if it makes you feel safer.”

“Yeah and you’ll have a key.”

“No…” Carlisle gave up. “Look, your tired, it’s been an awful 24 hours for you. Why don’t we get an early night and we’ll talk about it in the morning?”

“Yeah, guess I’ve got to pay for my dinner.” Said Edward pulling his jumper off and throwing it across the table angrily. “Don’t wait till were in bed, why don’t you just do me here on the floor.”

“That’s not what I meant. I meant you go to your room, I’ll go to mine and you can catch up on SLEEP.” Said Carlisle throwing the jumper back insulted.

“Fine.” Said Edward getting up. “But I’m a light sleeper so don’t think you can do me raw in the night.” He spat and left the room, there was the sound of a door slamming up the hall.

Carlisle felt like shit. He looked at the meal before them, it was supposed to have been a happy one. He couldn’t be bothered clearing it away, he suddenly felt tired, so he got up and went to bed… alone… again. Accept for Esme, she was always company.

….

Carlisle woke up through the night restless. The conversation he had with Edward ran through his head. He absent-mindedly stroked Esme’s head and she laid it on his thigh reassuringly. He thought about how he could have changed the course of the conversation. How he could have said things differently to get a better outcome. But most of all he felt guilty for hurting a boy that had already been hurt far too much for one lifetime…

He half wanted to peek in and see if Edward was ok. But he thought it might be misinterpreted.

Esme rolled over and went to sleep so Carlisle hugged his spare pillow as had been his habit for years now. A king sized bed all to himself and a dog. He felt so alone right now.

A tear rolled down his face in the certain knowledge that this was how he was going to spend the rest of his life. In bed alone.

He always knew he would die alone, ever since he was a kid. He didn’t know why, it just had always been there. The image came into his head. Him lying here in 30 years’ time, old and wrinkled, alone. And him having a heart attack or a stroke or something. Gasping out his last breath with no one there to care. How many weeks would it be before his body was found? Like he’d care by then.

Tears streamed down his face.

He had hoped, so hoped that Edward would be desperate enough to risk it with him... but no one was THAT desperate. Even a street kid and prostitute had higher standards than that. God he was such a looser.

A sob came out, he tried to stifle it. Then another and another. It all seemed so dirty now, what he wanted to do with Edward. He was so pathetic.

….

Edward was woken by an unfamiliar noise. He started. Where was he? Enough light was coming through the strange window for him to find the bedside light and turn it on. Strange room? Then it came back. The stranger, picked him up. Fed him. Then wanted him to move in… He recalled what he had said to him. It wasn’t all that gracious. Edward felt guilty. Yes, the guy was weird, but was there any harm? What had he done but take him home give him a hot bath and a good meal, dry clothes and a warm bed to sleep in. And Edward had yelled at him for wanting what Edward practically gave away ten times a day… Fuck.

But what was that noise?

Edward listened more carefully. There it was again. It was a sob… Fuck, he made Carlisle cry. That was great, that really toped of a perfect weekend.

Edward lay there thinking what to do. Carlisle probably hated him now after what he said. Maybe he should just get up and leave. He could take $50 for food and stuff and leave the rest, hitch back to Frisco… But was that just chicken shit! Shouldn’t he actual man up and go and apologise before walking out?

I mean like he would ever see this guy again, but he would have to live with his actions. Those long cold winter nights huddling under the blanket to keep from freezing and he would remember the look on Carlisle face as his happy offer was thrown so rudely in his face.

No Edward couldn’t be haunted by that all winter. He may be desperate, but he’s not a savage, he promised he would never get to the stage where people didn’t matter, when you went there you never could go back.

He climbed out of bed and walked up the hall to the master bedroom. The sound got louder. He opened the door quietly and waited for is eyes to adjust. There Carlisle lay in the foetal position hugging a pillow his body wracked with sobs. Fuck… what had he done.

“Carlisle?” Edward asked softly.

“Go away.” Came the hoarse almost unrecognisable voice. Esme let out a protective growl, as if she knew Edward was the cause of her master’s grief. This made Edward feel even more guilty…

“Are you ok?” Edward managed eyeing the dog warily.

“Yeah, now leave me alone.”

“Carlisle, I’m… I’m sorry for what I said.” The sobs stopped.

“What?”

“I’m sorry… you’ve been nothing but nice to me and I threw it in your face… I’m sorry.”

Carlisle unwound himself from the pillow and leaned over to turn on the bedside lamp. Edwards eyes had to readjust to the sudden light level. When they did Carlisle was sitting there naked, cross legged a sheet across his lap for modesty. He looked like shit, eyes puffy and red, face glistening wet from tears. But there was a kind of beautiful vulnerability there. Gone was the dynamic man that picked him up and here was a frightened child.

Edward went to climb onto the bed but Esme moved to block him, protecting her master, she growled menacingly.

“I’ll take her into the lounge so we can talk.” Said Carlisle pulling some boxers on and wiping his face to remove the tears. He dragged a reluctant Esme out to the lounge and gave her a bone to keep her happy, telling her he was going to be alright, that Edward wasn’t going to hurt him. He knew that was true physically, but he hoped almost in vain that it would be true emotionally.

Carlisle climbed back onto the bed and Edward climbed onto the bed and scooted over to him. He placed and arm around his bare shoulder.

“Did I hurt you bad?” was all he could think of asking.

Carlisle nodded.

“I’m sorry.”

“NO…” Carlisle sniffled. “It’s my fault… I should have known better. You’re not a toy I can play with. You’re a human being with a life of your own. I’m the one who should be sorry.”

Edward rubbed circles on Carlisle’s back.

Edward had never been in this situation before. He didn’t know what to do. An urge came over him and he decided not to fight it. He leaned over and gave Carlisle a light kiss on the lips. Carlisle breath caught his eyes boggled.

“I thought you didn’t kiss?” he stammered out.

“I thought this situation called for drastic measures.” Edward quipped with a half-smile. Carlisle chuckled.

Carlisle ran his hand down Edward face, taking in it’s beautiful lines. Admiring every inch of it.

“Like what you see?” Was the best Edward could come up with?

“Very much.”

There was only one thing Edward knew he could do to make Carlisle feel better, it was all he had ever been able to do to make guys feel better. Edward took off his jumper and threw it across the room. Carlisle looked puzzled.

“Fuck me.” Edward said.

“Wait… not so fast… I want you to enjoy this…” said Carlisle,

Edward couldn’t help chuckling at the thought, no one had ever said THAT to him and meant it.

“Yeah, your right… you’ve had better guys than me before. This won’t be anything memorable… or enjoyable… Sorry.” Carlisle said bitterly.

“No… They weren’t kind like you Carlisle… and I think it’s safe to say I will remember tonight.”

Carlisle went to kiss Edward and he instinctively turned his head.

“I’m sorry…” said Carlisle pulling back.

“No, I guess I confused you… but I really only save that for…”

“Your boyfriend.”

“Which I don’t have at the moment… who’d have me. But one day, and when I do, well, I’ve given everything else away, that’s all I have that’s special.” Edward tried to explain.

“The guy’s in Frisco must be blind not to want to have more than a quick fuck with you. I’d take you as a boyfriend and be honoured.”

“Ummm, I really just need you to fuck me now.” Said Edward changing the subject, the other was getting too intimate.

Carlisle shook his head. Edward was getting frustrated. “What now?”

“You’re still hurt… what those bastard did to you. I saw how you sat tonight at dinner…”

“I’ve fucked with worse… you haven’t got like a foot-long cock or anything have your?”

“No just average... but I wouldn’t enjoy it knowing I’m causing you pain… Edward, I want you to fuck me.”

“What…”

“You do top don’t you?”

“Ummm, I don’t know, no one has ever asked…” Edward knew with his youth and build all he was seen as was a cum receptacle, a pair of hands, a soft mouth or a tight ass. No one had even bothered to touch his cock. When he was working he wore a G-string, not the most comfortable but it allows the customers to get at the goods they wanted and it saved him taking underpants off… time was money after all.

“If you don’t want to… or umm not to be rude, if it’s really small that’s ok.”

“No, it’s… well it’s not small.”

“Please?”

“OK.”

Edward pulled off his track pants which he had nothing under. His flaccid penis flopped free. He wasn’t used to getting it hard in these situations, the guys he got done by usually were no turn on, the sex was usually rough and unpleasant so he never could get or needed a boner. He hoped that he could get one for Carlisle.

Carlisle ran his hands over the planes of Edward’s chest. He was skinny and not very muscular. You could see his ribs quite clearly. Carlisle though how amazing his body would look properly nourished. But it looked pretty dammed good now.

“Lie back. I want to pleasure you.” Said Carlisle gently pushing Edward down onto the bed.

He ran his tongue down Edward chest. Toying with each nipple. Edward breach hitched. No one had down this, not since Jake… it felt good, but he didn’t know if he liked a stranger doing it. Still he had had worse… a lot worse.

Carlisle ran his tongue down the happy trail till he reached the promised land. Edward was still soft and about 5 inches long when flaccid, which was quite impressive. Carlisle wondered if he was a shower or a grower, because if he was the latter then tonight could be quite memorable indeed... He was shaved down there because it made clean up much easier.

Carlisle took Edward in his mouth. He ran his tongue round the head and toyed with the slit. Edward’s breathing picked up. And he began to rapidly harden. Before long Carlisle was trying to fit 7 thick inches in his mouth. He hadn’t given head for a while, but being a loner he had studied technique from porn films and was always complimented when he did give head. He had the power of an industrial vacuum and a prehensile tongue. Edward hands soon were entwined in Carlisle hair as he began to involuntarily enjoy the sensation. Edward hadn’t had head in a long time and this was the best head he had EVER had. Eventually it was feeling too good.

“Stop… I’ll cum soon.” Said Edward. Carlisle obeyed.

“Have you got supplies?” Edward asked warily.

Carlisle nodded and leant over to the bedside draws and pulled out a foil packet and a bottle of lube. He handed the packet to Edward and then removed his boxers and began lubing his entrance.

Edward tore it open with his teeth and rolled it on. It was a bit tight but he was used to it. He couldn’t afford condoms and the ones the free health clinic gave away were all regular size.

Carlisle lay on his back and popped a pillow under his bottom.

“Is missionary ok? If you’d rather not to see my face I understand. I can do rear entry if you prefer.”

Edward felt sorry for Carlisle, he wasn’t movie star good looking but he wasn’t hideous, he wondered what had happened to make him so self-conscious. “No, this way’s fine.” Edward said crawling over to ready himself at Carlisle’s entrance. He was nervous, he knew how to bottom like a champ but he hadn’t toped in years…

Carlisle picked up his nervousness.

“You’ve got a beautiful cock and you’re the hottest guy I’ve ever seen. Just putting it in me will probably make me cum.” He smiled reassuringly, Edward relaxed a little. There was something about Carlisle’s smile that relaxed him

He slowly pushed into Carlisle the way Edward liked to be but very rarely was entered, presuming such things were universal. Carlisle gasped at the stretching.

“You OK?”

“Yes, more than OK.” Said Carlisle. “Just haven’t had one that big for ages.”

Edward kept going till he was balls deep in him then waited a few moments for Carlisle to adjust to the stretch. Carlisle soon began rocking back and forwards wanting the friction. This was Edward’s sign and he slowly began pumping. He began to build up speed.

Carlisle was really tight and his muscle clenched around Edward’s length like a vice. He was going to have to fight it so he didn’t cum.

Soon Carlisle was panting and running his hands all over Edward. Edward was enjoying himself and started really ploughing deep into Carlisle.

“Oh fuck gonna cum.” Said Carlisle slightly disappointed at how fast he reached this point and with a few more thrust of Edward and without touching his cock Carlisle blew his seed all over their stomachs. Edward was about to pull out pleased that he had held off coming when Carlisle suddenly and with surprising strength locked his legs round his buttocks and pushed him in deeper.  He then began rocking back and forward on Edwards cock as he milked out the last of his cum with his hand crying out in pleasure. Edward couldn’t escape. Carlisle’s hole had tightened to a vice with the contraction of his orgasm. Carlisle was working his muscles like a pro practically milking Edward’s cock.  Edward tried to pull out but Carlisle was stronger than he looked and held him firm, milking away finally it was too much and with a loud cry Edward broke his cardinal rule and came for a client. He hadn’t had an orgasm like that in years. It rolled over his entire body. And Carlisle milked his cock all the while drawing more pleasure from him. Carlisle was insatiable and the increased hardness and size of Edward’s ejaculating cock pushed him over the edge again and he came a second time gripping Edward like a vice.

Soon the pleasure of having his super sensitive cock milked became too much and it stared almost hurting.

“Carlisle please let me go… I can’t take anymore.” He begged, Carlisle gave him a devious look, stroked his face and continuing milking him dry.

“Please… it’s too much I can’t.” Carlisle smiled and released his grip and Edward pulled out gratefully, but before he could roll off Carlisle grabbed him and pulled him down onto him. They were both flush with sweat and Carlisle’s cum lubricated them more. Carlisle writhed under Edward slick body as he kissed every inch of Edward he could get, every inch but his mouth.

“Thankyou.” Carlisle finally said.

Edward didn’t know what to say.

“I better get this condom off before it leaks.” Edward knew it was a mood killing statement, but he didn’t know if he liked the mood Carlisle was conjuring… it was all too tempting to be sucked into Carlisle’s post coital bliss and forget that this wasn’t his lover but a client.

“I don’t care… I trust your clean.” Said Carlisle unhelpfully.

Edward in the end just reached down and pulled the condom off his softening member and tossed it over into the trash can by the bed. Carlisle held him tight so he couldn’t move much.

“Please stay the rest of the night… Please.” Carlisle eyes were so expressive, Edward thought he might cry if he left him. So Edward nodded and snuggled in…

“We should clean this cum of or we’ll be glued to each other come morning.” Said Edward.

Carlisle reached over for a packet of sanitary wipes he kept in the draw. He meticulously cleaned Edward reverently. Then cleaned himself. They then snuggled down and Carlisle was soon asleep holding Edward. it took Edward a while to sleep, he was unused to this, but he wasn’t sure if he entirely disliked it.

….

Edward woke before Carlisle. It was just getting light. He could smell the sweat and sex in the air. He remembered it had been and amazing fuck…. Half of him wanted more. He almost could go along with the idea of staying here and being Carlisle sex slave… if he topped as well as he bottomed it would be more than fun. But that was too risky. He slowly disentangled himself from Carlisle, then went and showered. Put his now dry clothes on. Made himself a sandwich with some left over sliced pot-roast to last him the day. He felt guilty taking all the money, but he knew he needed it. He would send it back to Carlisle when he was on his feet. Last night he didn’t want to charge for. He actually enjoyed himself more than ever before. He wrote a single word not. “Thankyou” leaving it on Carlisle’s pillow then tiptoed out of the house.

…

Carlisle awoke thinking it was just a normal day. Then the smell of sex and man hit his nostril’s and it all came back. The best night of his life. The bed was still warm. Carlisle thought Edward must be in the toilet. He waited a while, when he heard nothing he went to investigate, not seeing the note. The shower had recently been used which gave him a worrying feeling. He then went to Edward’s room his clothes were gone. He walked around the house… nothing. He went back to climb into bed and saw the one-word note. Fuck.

The bottom fell out of Carlisle’s world. He knew it was too good to last.

He called work and said he wasn’t able to come in. Which was the truth, his heart had just shattered into a million pieces. He then climbed back into bed quickly while it was still warm and snuggled up in Edward imprint sniffing his scent as long as it lasted.


	2. An Old Start to a New Beginning.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edward has run away leaving Carlisle an emotional wreck... will they ever meet again? 
> 
> Will a terrifying encounter with his landlord force Edward into trusting Carlisle's motives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is Chapter 2; Sorry it’s a bit long, but there was a lot to say… and a warning things get bad before they get good for Edward.  
> I read an article about the prevalence of sexual assault of sex workers and the lack of convictions against perpetrators and it fed into this story, it’s a bit dark but it’s only a short part of this chapter. And it demonstrates what these people have to put up with for just providing a legal (in most western countries) service.   
> Alright off my soap box.  
> Oh and I know Carlisle’s story in this chapter sounds pretty far-fetched, but it is based on the life story of a friend of mine… it all happened.  
> I hope you enjoy. Please feel free to give your comments, I love your feedback (positive hopefully :-) ).

It took Edward the rest of the day to get back to Frisco. He hitched to the nearest big centre then got a bus back, it was an extravagance but it was safer than the alternatives.

He practically ran home from the bus stop to see how Bella was.

When he opened the door to their little bedsit the mackerel tabby ran over to greet him, rubbing on his legs. He picked her up.

“Daddies home sweetie…” he said kissing her and nuzzling her to his face. “I’m afraid daddy stuffed it up. Those nasty men hurt daddy bad… We won’t be leaving here for a while, my love; and you won’t be getting a better brand of cat food like I promised.”

“I also stuffed it up with a nice guy… but you would have hated the country… you’re a city cat aren’t you… sure we would have been warm and safe and had food, and he was nice and kind and cared for me… and that was the best sex I’ve ever had in my life and… I guess I fucked it up big time sweetie…. But we’ve got each other.”

Edward went to see if she had any food left. Bella never ate much when Edward was gone, she pined; so there was plenty of kibble left. He topped her water up and put her down by the bowl which she started eating happily.

Then there came a loud bang on the door, a rattle of keys and the door opened to reveal a 6’8” tower of muscle that was his landlord Felix.

Felix had been, and still moonlighted as, a mob enforcer.  But a few too many injuries saw him be pensioned off. He was still respected by the crime lords for his discretion and ruthlessness. So he was stuck on slum lord duty rather than body detail. A duty he discharged just as malevolently.

“Where’s the rent you owe me pretty boy, or will we have to come to another arrangement?” he hissed striding over to Edward and towering over him. Bella sensibly evacuated the scene.

The thought made Edward sick. A couple of months ago in winter when he was really hard up he hadn’t been able to meet the rent. Felix somehow found out what Edward’s vocation was and so insisted on a cut rate for favours. It started with a blow job, then rapidly escalated into the worst sex Edward had ever had.

It wasn’t that Felix was hung in proportion to the rest of him… which he was, his 9 inches as thick as a toddler’s arm, but he was a sadist and got his kicks from causing pain. Which with that weapon he knew how to.  As he used to rip into him Edward had no choice but to bite his lip and thank god that Felix was a two pump chump. He couldn’t work for a week after he had been violated by Felix three times a day for four days to pay the rent.

“No, I have the money” Edward said hurriedly fishing the money out of his pocket and handing it over.

“Shame… my girlfriend’s causing me trouble, could do with a bit of ass to get me by…”

“Yeah, normally I’d love to help you out, but um, I’m kind a sore down there and your sooo big that well…” Edward tried to talk his way out of it without letting Felix know how much he hated the thought of it. No doubt in winter things might become desperate enough for him to need that particular line of credit.

“You love it don’t you.”’ he said licking his lips… “you queers love a straight guy showing you how it’s done.”

Edward didn’t comment and hoped that Felix would leave soon.

“I’m really horny.” Felix grabbed Edward’s hand and rubbed it against this swollen member. “Feel how hard I am... bet you want some of that.”

“Yeah, normally, but as I said I’m sore. It would hurt too much.” He said trying to pull away.

“I don’t think you’re listening… want me to raise your rent?”

“Look, I’ll give you head…” said Edward dropping to his knees. Anything but what Felix wanted.

Felix relented. He unzipped his fly and with difficulty pulled his monster out. Edward had difficulty sucking it, it was so big. It took both hands and all his mouth. Felix grabbed Edward’s head, as was his want, and pushed into him till Edward started choking and then fucked his throat forcefully. Edward tried to pull away but Felix was to strong.

“Fuck you like that don’t you slut.” He growled. “But you want more don’t you…”

He pulled Edward off his cock, Edward was coughing and spluttering.

Felix grabbed Edward and pulled him up off the floor slamming him across the counter.

“No, Felix please…. Let me suck you, I really want to suck you.” He lied.

“No boy, you want me to show your ass what straight cock is all about. Make you wish you were a girl so you could have it all the time.”

“No please…”

Felix grabbed Edward’s genes and ripped them off. He spat on Edward’s hole. Edward struggled to free himself but he was pinned to the counter.

Bella choose now to intervene. She came from nowhere claws out hissing like mad. Unfortunately, it only took a slap from Felix to send her flying across the room and Edward cried out to her. She disappeared, Edward was just glad she was alive. He was then knocked out of his thoughts by the agony and the sound of his own screams.

Felix had just slammed into Edward.

“Yeah slut you like that.” He growled while thrusting.

For some reason Felix was not his usual premature ejaculator. The bastard was making this one last…

Finally, after what seemed like hours Felix cried out.

“I’m gonna give you my cream slut.” And he slammed even harder into Edward cuming deep into him.

He then pulled out and dropped Edward to the floor, grabbing Edward’s face and plunged his cock into his gasping mouth, it tasted of blood and faeces and cum as Felix was still coming down Edward’s throat. When he had had his jolly’s he wiped his cock on Edward’s hair then pulled up his pants.

“See you tonight slut for some more. I’ll show you how a real man does it.” and with that he walked out and slammed the door.

Edward could do nothing but huddle on the floor in the foetal position covered in his own blood and filth and cry. Bella soon returned and snugged into him.

….

Edward lay there for hours in too much pain to move. Finally, he went and got showered, when he couldn’t stop the bleeding he knew he was hurt bad and so reluctantly went down to the free clinic… He hoped the waiting there wasn’t too bad, he would have to find a new place for Bella and him to sleep tonight, he couldn’t risk another round with Felix.

~xxXxx~

Carlisle finally pulled himself together. He had breakfast but didn’t shower. He wanted the smell of Edward on him for as long as he could.

Over breakfast he remembered that Edward had talked about his bag that those bastards had taken. Carlisle knew it was stupid, but he wanted something of Edwards, so on a walk with Esme to cheer himself up he resolved to go and find it. Edward said it was worthless so the jerks probably threw it out.

Edward had told him the hotel he stayed at with those ass holes so Carlisle drove there. Sure enough on the road away from the hotel there it was, a back pack in the gutter. Edward went and got it. It had toiletries, some clothes that smelled like Edward and down the bottom a small silver chain with a medallion on it. Carlisle put it to his lips and kissed it… he would treasure this for the rest of his life.

Further down the road was a teddy bear, it had been ripped open and urinated on. Carlisle wondered… He got a plastic bag out of the boot from the pile that he kept for collecting Esme’s poop when he took her to the park and picked it up gingerly. He would launder it and see if someone could mend it... Rosalie at the office loved needlework and handy-craft, maybe she could help… He felt sorry for Edward, still needing a teddy… people could be such ass holes. He wished he could get it back to him, he was probably missing it.

….

The next weekend Carlisle had a conference for work in Frisco.

On the Saturday lunch break a crazy idea came over him. He knew it was stupid but what the hell. He’d go and look Edward up at the place the hustlers gather… He still had his bag on the back seat of the car, and the teddy was sitting there in the plastic bag that Rosalie had given him back in after mending him.

He drove down the seedy streets and slowly cruised around. Finally, he saw a familiar face.

He pulled over to the kerb near Edward and wound down the window.

Edward didn’t recognise the car and minced over for the pick-up.

“You.” He said when he recognised Carlisle.

“Hi, how you doing?” asked Carlisle.

“You stalking me?” Edward asked defensively.

“No, just happened to be in town and thought I’d look you up… I can drive on if you prefer.” Said Carlisle hurt.

“NO…. I’ll get in so we don’t draw attention.” Said Edward noticing the other streetwalkers were looking their way wondering what was going down.

“Where can I park?” asked Carlisle.

“Up there on the left is an alley way, that’s where we usually go.” Said Edward. Carlisle drove up to the dingy alley that was full of dumpsters overflowing with trash. The car was completely shielded from the street and from passers-by.

“So how have you been?” asked Carlisle.

“Look I don’t feel like talking, if you want to fuck it’s only a blow job… I know I owe you for a fuck but I ca…” Edward trailed of as a look of horror flashed across Carlisle’s face.

“You still haven’t healed… Fuck have you seen a doctor, it might be infected.” He said worried.

“Yes I have seen a doctor, and no it wasn’t that time, it was another time.” Edward said uncomfortably.

“You got raped again?” Carlisle’s hands were trembling with suppressed rage on the steering wheel he couldn’t believe what assholes there were in this city.

“Yeah, my landlord thought he could have a freebee as a perk.”

“Did you report him?”

Edward laughed a hollow laugh at this. “He’s an enforcer for the mob… I’d never live to testify.”

“Where are you staying now?” asked Carlisle concerned.

“Look if you want your money back, I can’t give it to you.”

“I don’t give a flying fuck about the money, I want to know if you are alright… Where are you staying; is it safe?”

“Why the fuck should you care?” said Edward.

“Because I fucking love you that’s why.” Said Carlisle not particularly happy about the fact.

“What?”

“You can run away now if you want… I don’t blame you.” Said Carlisle crossing his arms across his chest and not meeting Edwards gaze.

“But… You… Shit like that just doesn’t happen.”

“What, you never heard of love at first sight?” Carlisle said then giving a hollow laugh.

“NO. And you shouldn’t either… this is just some good Samaritan crap that’s fucked with your head.”

“If you want to think of it like that fine… just tell me you have somewhere safe to stay and I won’t bother you. You made it plain that my feelings are not reciprocated.”

Edward looked into Carlisle’s eyes trying to figure him out. He saw no deception there, just hurt.

Edward for some reason felt the need to apologize “I’m sorry I ran out without saying goodbye…”

“It was my fault… I freaked you out… and I hurt you when we… I’m sorry about that.”

Edward had never heard anyone apologise for hurting him, they usually thought it came as part of the service.

“No you didn’t.” Said Edward, he knew he needed to say more, to explain himself. Well he didn’t need to but he felt that this man deserved an explanation…  “It was just no one had been kind to me like that and that freaked me out. I’m more comfortable when I can tell peoples motives… base motives.”

There was silence. Carlisle finally decided to fill it…

“Look, I have something for you.” Carlisle said leaning behind to the back seat and getting a bag that was resting on it.

“My Bag… you found it!”

“I looked around the hotel you said you stayed at. I don’t know if everything is in there.  I just wanted something to remember you by.”

Edward zipped the bag open and rummaged through it. He found the chain and held it gladly.

“A present?” asked Carlisle.

“From my Grandmother… it’s all I have of my past life… Thank you.”

“There’s something else.” Said Carlisle reaching back and pulling the plastic bag off the back seat. Edward looked at the contents, a teddy bear.

“You found Mr Ted?” he exclaimed.

“He took a bit of a beating… like you. But I cleaned him up and one of my colleagues likes to do handy craft, she re-stuffed him and stitched him up. I hope he looks the same.”

“He looks fine.” Edward hugged the teddy, he then realised how silly he must look. “I guess you must think I’m a weirdo still having a teddy bear.”

“No… You were still a kid when you got kicked out, and the things you must have experienced; he was probably your only friend before Bella came along.”

“You get it.” said Edward.

“I think I get you…” said Carlisle gazing longingly into Edwards eyes… he then snapped out of it and changed the subject… “How’s Bella?”

“She’s living in the janitor’s cupboard of the homeless shelter. Pet’s aren’t allowed, but I found out the janitor has a weakness for head, so I give it to him every night and he turns a blind eye.”

A pained look came over Carlisle face, he couldn’t stand the thought of someone taking advantage of such a pure creature, but he had to know how Edward was…

“Those shelters fill up pretty soon… If a family comes along they’ll get preference… you and Bella could be out on the streets.”

“I Know.” Said Edward irritated at being reminded of how precarious his life was at the moment.

“Have you got anywhere else to go?”

“Well, I would go to the Ritz but they changed chefs and I can’t stand it anymore.”

“I’m serious… look I got payed yesterday. How much do you need for a flat for the week?”

“I can’t take your money… I mean any more of your money.”

“Well, there’s no other options… you made it clear you couldn’t stand living with me, so you need a flat. I won’t let you leave the car till we have an agreement on that.” Said Carlisle hitting the central door lock.

Edward was surprised he wasn’t panicking, usually by now he would be climbing the walls trying to get out.  After analysing these feelings Edward thought he might do some fishing… After a long talk with Bella in the homeless shelter cupboard, when Edward couldn’t sleep because of the pain, they had both come to the conclusion he behaved like a jackass towards Carlisle and his tempting offer “I’m sorry I was ungrateful about your offer to live with you. I guess I really burnt my bridges.”

Carlisle looked puzzled. “The offer still stands.” He ventured.

Now it was Edward’s turn to look puzzled. “After what I did; you still want me to live with you?”

“I love you… of course I do.” Carlisle could see Edward looking trapped. “But you will have your own room. All the conditions I stated before. You’d be a guest… I. Don’t. Expect. Anything.” Carlisle said emphasising the words to try and make Edward understand his motive were pure.

Edward still wasn’t sure. A big part of him wanted to say yes, even if he did wind up as Carlisle’s sex slave… in fact a small part of him didn’t mind that part if it was going to be anything like the other night.

“Look come and stay till your butt heals. If after that you want to leave, I’ll drive you hear myself and help you get a flat. Deal?”

There was one last pang of reticence from Edward, but he looked at ‘Mr Ted’ and imagined Carlisle crawling through open gutters in search of his bag; this guy might be strange but it was all coming from a good place, he’d never get a better offer. “Deal” Edward heard himself say.

“Great, is there anyone you want to say goodbye to before we go?” asked Carlisle.

“What?”

“You said some of the other sex workers showed you the ropes, took care of you, do you want to say goodbye to them, give them your contact details so they can chase you up?”

“There was only two of them and their both dead.” Said Edward mater-of-factly.

“Fuck, I’m sorry… I didn’t know.” Said Carlisle feeling like a prize heel.

“How were you to.  You don’t last long on the streets. Look can we just get out of here.”

“Sure, where is the shelter so we can pick up Bella.”

“Umm, why don’t you stay here and I go and get her.”

“Edward… I’m not ashamed of being seen with you. If I had my way, I’d walk into that shelter holding your hand and tell them that I had found the most beautiful man in the world.”

“Really?”

“Yes… but I won’t, because it would embarrass you, but I will say I’m your friend and I’ll be proud of it.”

“Really?” Edward didn’t know why he kept saying that.

“Yes.”

“OK… do you know your way around this area?” asked Edward.

“Not really.”

“OK, well I’ll show you the way. It’s a bit difficult getting out of this alley, I’ll get out and direct you.” Said Edward going to open the locked door and failing.

“Oh, sorry….” Said Carlisle with a chuckle hitting the unlock button.

Edward went out to the street to direct Carlisle how to safely reverse out. Fortunately, the street wasn’t too busy at this time of the day.

A 6’ tall black transvestite in 6” platform heals walked up to and towered over Edward.

“You OK Eddie honey?” she said in a slight Caribbean sing song accent.

“Yeah, more then OK. My knight in shining armour has finally turned up.” Said Edward beckoning Carlisle out. He remembered the stories he and Laurent used to tell each other in winter when it was miserable and the hours dragged on seemingly endlessly. Laurent said one day her knight in shining armour would come along on a mighty steed and whisk her the hell away from here. They had talked about their tastes in men and basically joked about to try and stop from freezing.

“Well good for you honey, I knew it would have to happen to one of us girls…” She looked at Carlisle and whistled. “Well I say, is there any room for a fair maiden on that steed.” She said flipping her hair.

Carlisle turned red with embarrassment.

“Fraid not.” Said Edward. “He’s a one-man guy and that’s the way I like it.”

“Well good for you. Take care of yourself sugar and drop by if you’re in town again.”

“I will. Bye and good luck.” Said Edward hugging the larger ‘woman’. Who hugged him back. Edward climbed in Carlisle’s car that was now parked on the curb.

“Do you want to invite your friend to lunch?” asked Carlisle.

“What?”

“Well you seemed to get along… Edward; I am easily embarrassed, but I am not ashamed of you, or what you or your friends do. If she’s your friend, then she’s mine.” Said Carlisle.

“You know that’s a guy don’t you?” asked Edward not sure if Carlisle had lived such a sheltered life that he didn’t know what he was looking at.

“Yes, we know about transvestites even back in the sticks, and aren’t you supposed to call them she when they are wearing a dress, respect their orientation and all that.” Said Carlisle.

“Oh you do know…” Carlisle raised his eyebrows waiting for an answer to his previous question. “No, were not really close. We just hang out on the same street, we have different clients so were not competition for each other, we generally joke around to pass the time and I guess we sort of look out for each other...”

“Sounds like a friend to me.” Said Carlisle. He lent over Edward and called out to the transvestite. “Err, excuse me miss.”

“Well I haven’t been missed in a long while.” She said cracking a joke. Carlisle smiled. “What is it sugar, had second thoughts?”

“Ah… no, I’d just like you to have my card… it will be where Edward is staying for the foreseeable future, the home number will get hold of him if you want to see how he’s going.”

The transvestite took the card startled. “Is this guy for real?” she asked Edward.

“He’s a one off.” Said Edward a little embarrassed by the situation.

“Edward said you two looked out for each other, I can imagine that could have been quite dangerous at times… I want you to know he’s ok and if you ever need anything that number will get him.”

The black woman leant down into the car and whispered into Edwards ear, “Don’t let this one go honey, hold onto him with both hands and never let him get away.” Edward nodded.

“Well, I’m never up the valley, but if I am I’ll drop by.” She said to the both of them.

“Yes, do that… Thank you for seeing Edward was safe, so I could have the opportunity of meeting him. You have no idea how big a favour you have done me.” Said Carlisle. Nodding then pulling away.

The black ‘woman’ stood their mouth agape looking between the retreating car and the card in her hand.

Carlisle followed Edward’s instructions and drove to the shelter where he helped Edward smuggle Bella out; which consisted of him thanking the staff and keeping them busy while Edward went and got his bag and stuffed Bella in it.

They hurried out to the car feeling like smugglers in a movie.

They jumped in the car and tore off.

“I’m sorry I don’t have a cage for Bella, is it ok if I just hold her?” asked Edward.

“Sure, the car is full of dog hair anyway, I think it’s probably her that will object, not me.”

Edward smiled at this and pulled Bella out of the bag.

“Oh, she’s beautiful.” Said Carlisle.

“Bella, this is Carlisle, Carlisle this is Bella.” Introduced Edward.

“Please to meet you at last Bella.” Said Carlisle offering his hand for her to smell. She looked at It wearily.

“I’m sorry, she doesn’t like men… well other than me.”

“Probably a very sensible survival instinct. But we will have plenty of time to get to know each other. I love animals and I’m patient.” Said Carlisle.

They continued to drive out of the city.

“You hungry?” asked Carlisle

“Sure.” Said Edward.

“Umm is a burger ok?”

“Sure.”

They went to the drive thought and Carlisle ordered Two big macs, two chips, a chocolate Sunday, a large coke and diet coke and a filet of fish burger for Edward and Bella to share.

They picked up the order and kept driving.

“How are you going to eat this?” asked Edward fishing out the second burger.

“I’ve already eaten lunch… that’s all for you.”

“What?”

“I guess you skipped breakfast.” Said Carlisle.

“You don’t have to do this.”

“I’m sorry.” said Carlisle thinking he had offended Edward. “I should have asked.”

“No I’m not offended. Just you don’t need to feed me up.”

“Edward, you are the most beautiful person I have ever seen, but you are underweight. And while two big macs aren’t then best thing for you to be eating, I plan on feeding you up plenty over the next few weeks. Good wholesome home cooking.”

Edward didn’t know what to say to this.

“Does Bella have a preference for food?” asked Carlisle.

Edward laughed… “Yes, smoked salmon, caviar…” he quipped.

“I’m sorry, that was a dumb question… I really am sorry for keeping on insulting you…”

“Hey… don’t beat yourself up. It was a joke. I’m not that thin skinned.”

“Sorry.”

“And stop apologizing all the time… what the fuck happened to you?” It was a throw away comment but Edward noticed that it had hit home with Carlisle.  Carlisle looked away and didn’t answer this.

“Carlisle… are you ok?”

“Yeah, fine… guess I have been alone so long that no one has picked up on my irritating habits.”

“There not irritating… what happened Carlisle… you look… different somehow.” All the light and warmth and somehow gone from Carlisle face, his body seemed deflated. He seemed a different person…

“Oh it’s nothing compared to what you have been through… nothing.”

“But something happened to make you like this… no one apologizes as much as you do.”

Carlisle was silent.

“Look, I’m sorry, I didn’t like it when you pried into my past, I should have known better.”

“No… I want to tell you… I just… I…” Carlisle stuttered nervously. “It’s just kind of embarrassing…” HE continued…” Carlisle drummed his fingers anxiously on the wheel. Edward sat patiently watching him, letting him take his time.  

A resigned look came over Carlisle face “Where to start...”

“I guess it all started with my parents never being married. Mom was Dad’s mistress, he was married with kid’s and when she was pregnant with me he dumped her back on her family. They were kind enough, but never stopped reminding her of her mistake and always thought I would grow up to be a delinquent... Son without a father’s influence.  We lived in a granny flat at our family house. Two rooms, we slept in the same bed till I was 8 then we finally found a second one on the side of the road being thrown out… from then on my bed was the sofa during the day. We had to shower and wash-up in the only partially enclosed outside laundry which wasn’t very fun in winter or when it was wet. We also only had an outside toilet.

“But despite that I had a happy childhood, Mom was great. She went without everything to give me all the advantages in life. And when you’re a kid you don’t notice poverty as much. When I got to high school I was the only kid that couldn’t have friends over, my family wouldn’t allow it because all my friend were no doubt delinquents like me… it didn’t matter that I told them they were all dorky book worms like me, they saw what they wanted to see… Soon my friends stopped bothering with me and I was alone for most of my high school years…

“But against my family’s prediction I got a scholarship to study law at Berkley. Finally, when I was in my early 20’s I got jack of the way we were treated, Mum had to do everyone laundry and clean the house as well as pay half of all the bills, because she had a kid and I used up so much water and electricity and I used the phone once a week… so I convinced Mom to leave. We rented a small place a couple of suburbs away. We were happy. I even got elected to the City Council, the youngest alderman ever, just to spite my family, prove that they were wrong.

“But then Mom got cancer. The prognosis wasn’t good. A relative had just died and Mom got a small bequest. Not enough for us ever to buy a house in Frisco but enough with a mortgage for us to buy a house in the country. So we decided to move up to Napa, so she could take it easy. We bought the house I live in now and I did the commute to fulfil my City obligations but didn’t stand again at the next elections. I had to drop out of the Law degree to look after Mom and well, I never have got round to going back… one day maybe.

“I think we were happiest then. But it wasn’t to last. The cancer got worse and she died a few years after the move… I’ve been alone ever since.” Carlisle’s eyes were watering and he was fighting back the tears.

Edward took a hand-off Bella and placed it on Carlisle’s arm.

“I made a promise to Mom on her death bed that I would continue pursuing my political career, even though she wouldn’t be there to share in my success… She said she’d be looking down on me from Heaven cheering from the bleachers…” Carlisle let out an involuntary sob, a tear running down his cheek, he was using all his will power to stay in control of his emotions. Edward felt the urge to wipe away the tear, but resisted it, Carlisle needed to get this off his chest and didn’t need distractions.

“That’s why I have kept going, even though I have had more failure than success… I lost three elections in Napa before I finally got elected. Even though it means that I have to hide my sexuality and who I really am. It’s sad I guess…

“That’s when I started eating for comfort and well I packed on the pounds… ended up at 265 pounds… that killed what was left of my sex life, which never was very much at the best of times… being in the closet didn’t help. I think that’s when I started to hate myself. To think all the cutting remarks that gay guy’s said to me when they rejected my attentions were true…

“I also drank too much… I finally pulled myself together a couple of years ago and well, as you can see I’ve lost 80 pounds… I’ve still got more to do but… Well… To answer your question, I apologise all the time because that was the easiest way to survive in my family.  Be subservient all the time. And well I lost any confidence I had talking to guys when I was so hideous that even the desperate old guys turned me down… That really hurt.”

 “I’m sorry.” Said Edward. He didn’t know what else to say.

“Oh, it’s nothing compared with what you have been through…” said Carlisle wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.

“No it’s worse… You were born without a chance yet you fought all the way to get where you are… I was born with everything and the first set back I had what did I do… I gave up.” Edward said ashamed.

“Hey…” Carlisle said. “Being chucked out on the streets isn’t just a setback it’s monstrous… you fought every day just too keep your humanity… you’re not one of those homeless people that are wrecks. You fought to get a roof over your head. You are the bravest person I have ever met… I don’t want to ever hear you disparage yourself OK?” Carlisle said in a no-nonsense voice, he was back to his old self; his reminiscing had been completely washed away by concern for Edward. Edward could do nothing but comply to that voice; stern Carlisle had a certain aura about him, a command but tempered with gentleness.

“So what do you want for dinner?” said Carlisle changing the subject.

“Dinner… I just demolished two and a half hamburgers.” Said chuckled Edward.

“Sorry, bad timing, but I’ll be hungry by dinner time and I’m sure you will too. So what do you think Turkey and all the trimmings?”

“That’s for thanksgiving.”

“I’m pretty thankful today.” Said Carlisle happiness beaming through his voice. Edward flushed at this.

“Seriously.” Edward countered.

“Well it’s got to be something special… to celebrate you moving in.” Said Carlisle. Edward shifted in his seat. Carlisle could tell he was still a little nervous about the situation so he hastily added. “For a few weeks.” Edward seemed to relax at this. “So what do you want, name it and we can have it.”

Edward laughed… “That’s ridiculous… what do you normally have.”

“How about Lobster?”

“That’s too expensive.  Seriously, if it were just a normal Saturday night, what would you have?”

“Well I guess steak and salad.” Carlisle said.

“Steak?” said Edward his ears pricking up at this, he had turkey last thanksgiving at a homeless shelter but he hadn’t had a steak since he left home.

Carlisle could see the enthusiasm in his eyes. “You’d like a steak?” he asked surprised that he was excited by something fairly straight forward.

“Please… can I?” Asked Edward. He felt like Oliver with his bowl outstretched, only he knew he was going to get what he asked for.

“Of course you can… what’s your favourite cut?” Edward looked confused at this. “I’m going to have to do some shopping on the way home, I’ll buy the steaks fresh, you can have whatever cut you prefer. Porterhouse, rib eye, what?”

Edward looked even more confused, he never really knew the different cuts, he just used to eat what his Mom served up. Carlisle picked this up and stepped in to save Edward. “I like Porterhouse, so how about I get us both those and we can BBQ it out side, looks like it’ll be a lovely evening.”

“That would be great.” Said Edward his mouth was already watering at the thought, even though he had demolished the burgers not long ago.

“I tell you what, I’ll do some potato wedges too go with them, I bet you could do with some carbs after today.” Edward smiled at this it was sounding better and better.

“Umm, do you need to get any medications made up for your… err… injury?” asked Carlisle.

“No… I got some pain killers and antibiotics from the free clinic. They should last me for a week longer.”

“Anything else you need in that department.”

“Umm… it’s kind of embarrassing, but I could do with some more sanitary wipes… the doc said I should try and keep the area as clean as I can… but it dos….” Carlisle interrupted Edward.

“No worries I’ve got about a dozen boxes at home. Mom used to be a nursery worker and she showed me the million and one things they are good for, so I kept up the habit of buying them in bulk so I would never run out.” Edward breathed a sigh of relief.

“Umm, Does Bella do her business outside or does she use kitty litter.”

“She like to use torn up newspaper… I could never afford kitty litter.” Said Edward lowering his head in shame, he wished he could have done more for Bella, he had the horrible feeling that ASPCA would say he was a lousy pet owner.

“No problems, I’ll get some kitty litter anyway, but we’ll stop by the office and get a stack of old newspapers so she has a choice, probably best for her to keep as close to her routine as possible for the first week in a strange house…

“Does she have a favourite food…” Carlisle remembered their previous conversation and didn’t want to insult Edward. “I mean of what you gave her, what was her favourite.”

“I used to get her cheap kibble from a charity shop and she liked fish fingers when I could afford them.”

“Fish fingers it is… And what was the brand of kibble, I’d like to get her what she’s used to, then we can try her on some other stuff when she’s settled.”

“No specific brands, they changed every time depending on what got donated I presume.”

“Do you think Bella will be right in the car by herself for a while? You could come in with me and see what you recognise?”

“You want to take me shopping?”

“Of course…” said Carlisle then had a double take. “Don’t worry, I won’t hold your hand or anything to embarrass you.”

Edward laughed at this. “You think I would be embarrassed by you holding my hand? You do remember what I do for a living don’t you?”

“Yea, but that was work… this is your free time. A hot young guy like you doesn’t want to be seen in public with an old wreck like me. Not like that anyway.”

“Hey… stop that. Sure there is an age difference between us. But who’s business is that. You’re the one who’s someone, you should be the one objecting to being seen with a hooker.”

“But I’m not… Are you saying it would be alright to hold hands?”

“Ummm…” Edward was becoming distinctly uncomfortable with this conversation… Sex he could do. Intimacy was another thing and he was hearing warning bells going off.

Carlisle saw Edward agitation, the pace he was stroking Bella had increased “Look, let’s just be friends for now. We can worry about the rest of it when the time comes. Let’s just have some fun… I think you deserve it.”

“I think we both do.”

“Great, let’s do this…” said Carlisle with a broad smile.

When they go to the shops they parked the car in the shade and left Bella on the back seat tucked up in Edwards bag with his clothes so she would be able to smell him.

Edward felt a little guilty leaving her but he hadn’t been shopping for more than essentials for 5 years and he had almost forgotten what it was like.

Soon the guilt disappeared as Carlisle whisked him through shop after shop. Filling a trolley to brimming with everything and anything that took Edwards fancy. Edward thought it was Christmas, thanksgiving and the five birthdays he had missed all rolled into one.

Carlisle even asked what colour sheets Edward wanted for his bedroom. Edward was amazed that Carlisle was going to make good on his two bedrooms’ policy. He selected a sky blue colour because that was his favourite, he momentarily thought they also matched Carlisle’s eyes but he shook that thought away as inappropriate.

Carlisle wanted to take him clothes shopping but Edward refused saying it was too much like charity so Carlisle didn’t want to push, this would be a battle for another day.

They bought a brand of kibble Edward recognised as one that Bella particularly liked, they also got her - against Edwards wishes - some play things rubber mice and so on... also Two kitty litter trays - one for newspaper and one to try out kitty litter. A scratching post. And an assortment of different cat food for her to try.

“She’s going to be the size of a house by the time you finish with her.” Edward joked.

Their final stop was the butchers where Carlisle handpicked two huge juicy porterhouse stakes that had Edwards mouth-watering. Edward hadn’t seen this much variety of meat in his life.

“Anything else you like the look of while were here?” asked Carlisle.

Edward eyes roamed over the beautifully presented selection, he felt like a kid at the window of a sweet shop.

He noticed the different flavoured sausages. He whispered in Carlisle’s ear a question about them not wanting to appear stupid.

“They make them all themselves.” Said Carlisle. “None of your preservatives or artificial skins here.” The butcher nodded proudly at Carlisle statement… A couple of years back Carlisle had done the butcher a favour talking to the centre manager about a leak in the roof, even though it was not in his official responsibilities; when the centre manager tried to play hard ball he got the Council to inspect it as a food safety breach and issue an immediate repair notice to the centre… from then on Carlisle could do no wrong with the butcher and he always got the best cuts of meats for cheap cut prices on the feeble excuse that they had been cut by and apprentice so not as expensive or something like that.

The Butcher happily made up a selection of his best-selling sausages for them to take home and try on the BBBQ as well. Whatever were Edward favourites Carlisle could get after work on Monday. The Butcher noticed the way they looked at each other and was secretly glad that Carlisle had finally found someone. Carlisle didn’t know it, but quite a few people had cottoned onto his sexuality, didn’t give a stuff about it… But they were quite concerned that he was working too hard and missing out on the good things in life.

They headed back to the car and Carlisle could see Edward was worried about Bella so he told Edward to take care of her while he packed the trunk.

It was then off to Carlisle’s office in the Municipal building which he showed Edward around. Carlisle apologized that he couldn’t introduce Edward to his colleagues but being a Saturday the building was largely deserted. Edward was glad of this as he still was wearing his street walking clothes that were to revealing to meet anyone special in.

They got a whole stack of newspapers from the recycling bins and headed off home.

When they arrived home Carlisle went and secured Esme on her lead with customary difficulty and then let Edward in the front door with Bella. They took her up to Edwards room.

“I’ll let you two get settled in while I unload the car.” Said Carlisle.

“I really should help.” Said Edward feeling guilty.

“Nonsense. This is Bella’s first time here; you need to concentrate on her feeling at home.” Said Carlisle.

Edward sat on the bed and stroked Bella nervously, he still wasn’t sure if this was going to work. Carlisle picked up on this and he went over and kissed the top of Edwards head, he lingered for a moment longer then necessary smelling his hair as he did it.

Edward was surprised, normally that kind of intimacy would freak him out but with Carlisle it was so unthreatening, there was no promise that this was the start of something more, no hidden demand for anything, just a simple gesture of unconditional love that Edward hadn’t received since he was a kid.

It actually simultaneously reminded him of how his mother used to kiss him when he had a booboo as a child, but also was completely different; charged as it was with hidden eroticism on both their parts.

“Don’t worry, it will work out fine… just relax, animals can pick up your tension. This is your room, your home now for the next couple of weeks. I’ll treat it like your house. I won’t come in here unless invited. Anytime you want to be alone, you can be safe and undisturbed in here…” Carlisle then smiled and walked out closing the door behind him.

Edward knew Carlisle was right, Bella was picking up his nervousness.

Edward waited till he heard the outside door bang before he started talking to Bella, he didn’t want to sound crazy.

“Well Girl, what do you think… Did I make the right decision for us…? I hope I did. He’s a nice man, he’ll spoil you rotten… I just hope that I’m not wrong about him and that this isn’t an act…” Bella as if to say something rubbed herself on Edwards cheek. “What’s that, you think I’m being silly and it will all work out fine? Well you were right about Felix, we should have moved before things got out of hand. I hope your right now.” Bella put her paw up and batted at Edwards nose.

“I should shut up then should I?” asked Edward. “OK, here you go and explore your new room. I’ll see if I can help Carlisle.” Said Edward putting Bella down. She began marking her scent on everything in the room, that though modest by most bedroom standards was nearly as large as their bedsit back in Frisco. “Settling in already are you… Remember this is supposed to be temporary.” Bella then jumped up on the Bed, sat down, did the splits, showed Edward her rear and began cleaning herself. “Oh, so that’s what you think of that idea… making yourself at home are you, well wait till you meet Esme you mightn’t be so cock sure of yourself.” Said Edward with a smile, Bella started purring and Edward knew when to give up, he then walked out of the room closing the door behind him.

Edward went out to help Carlisle bring the shopping in and put it away… It reminded him of his childhood, cupboards filled with food, a refrigerator groaning, Carlisle had insisted on getting plenty of snacks so that Edward could help himself any time he felt hungry, especially when Carlisle returned to work on Monday. Up till now Edward only ate one meal a day and that was when he was lucky… It was a huge change and hard to get used to.

After the packing Carlisle said he would take Esme for a walk; he suggested Edward could use the private time to get Bella acclimatized to her new surroundings. Edward understood the logic in this but he wondered if Carlisle wanted some alone time himself; to work out what he had just done to his life, letting a perfect stranger stay in his house.

“Good idea.” Said Edward. Carlisle’s eyebrow raised questioningly, a habit which Edward found strangely attractive.

Carlisle was getting too good at reading Edwards expressions. He picked up Edward was nervous as to why Carlisle was choosing this moment to leave.

“Would you like to come too?” he enquired. Edward tried to suppress his enthusiasm, maybe it was just a polite gesture and he really didn’t want a kid tagging along with him.

“Ummm… Only if I won’t get in your way.” Said Edward.

Carlisle Chuckled at this… “There’s nothing I’d like more then to show you my valley.” Said Carlisle reaching for Esme’s lead.

“Really?” Edward couldn’t keep the excitement out of his voice.

“Yes, it should be beautiful at this time, with the late afternoon sun. We’ll take the short root; I don’t think you’re up to climbing any hills at the moment.”

“I’m not a weakling.” Said Edward insulted.

“I never thought you were, but you need your buttock muscles walking uphill and that might be too painful for you… there will be plenty of other times.” Said Carlisle, understanding washed over Edward. Carlisle beckoned for him to follow as he went to the back door.

As soon as he exited the building Carlisle was bowled over by Esme who had heard the word “walk” and heard the familiar clatter of the lead. She was now in full bat-shit-crazy mode, running around in excited circles and then jumping up on Carlisle to get the lead.

“I took her to dog obedience school but they asked us to leave after a few weeks, they said she was a bad influence on the other dogs…” Carlisle explained with a laugh. “She does what she’s told… usually… when she wants to.”

Edward eyed the happy energetic dog with suspicion. He was surprise at Carlisle’s strength, he was sure if Esme tried to jump at him like that he’d be on the floor.

Carlisle noticed Edwards hesitation. “Are you sure you are right with this? You don’t have to come… Or I could just take Esme for a quick walk and we could go for one ourselves after.” He offered.

Edward thought it sounded tempting but he knew this was Esme’s house and he had to fit in with her. She was a nice dog, just Edward had never owned a dog before. He always wanted one as a kid but wasn’t allowed one as his father was allergic. Jake had a German shepherd that Edward loved. But that seemed too long ago. And it was very obedient, not like Miss excitement here.

“No, I want Esme to get to know me… get to like me.” Said Edward determined.

“She settles down once we get started.” Promised Carlisle and clipped Esme’ lead on, no sooner had he done this then she took off dragging Carlisle with her… that took a lot of strength thought Edward nervously.

Once they got out the gate and Esme had a roll on the tar road looking like a prize goose she settled into a brisk pace. Edward was used to walking everywhere so it was no problem for him, though his ass did protest the pace of it, but he didn’t want to say anything.

Carlisle kept up with the dog without breaking a sweat, despite his couple of extra pounds he must be in great shape.

They walked down the end of the road and took a turn up a dirt lane that lead across the paddocks. They passed cows grazing in the fields and Edward had to do a double take, he had never seen a cow before. Carlisle smiled at this.

They then came to a paddock with horses in it. The dark beasts came over, curious as to who was visiting them and no doubt in search of a treat. Edward eyes were as wide as saucers.

“C…C…Can I pat them?” he asked enviously.

“Of course, they’re very friendly. I wish I had of thought to bring some carrots for you to feed them.”

“Feed them?” Edward asked surprised.

“Yeah, they love treats and will be more friendly to you, they eat it right out of your hand… here.” Carlisle bent down and pulled a tussock of grass out of the ground and handed it to Edward. “Show them this, they’ll know your friendly and let you pat them… just go slowly, they don’t like fast movements.” Edward was amazed, was there anything Carlisle didn’t know? He seemed so at home in so many different environments.

Edward took the grass and walked over slowly to the pair of horses, one came straight over to him, the other held back, clearly a little nervous.

Edward spoke gently to them and offered the bolder one the grass, it sniffed his hand tentatively then, liking what it smelt, hoed down on it. Edward carefully raised his hand and touched its muzzle, it was so soft, softer then cats fur. They horse jerked away, Edward looked pensive.

“Let it smell your hand… animals have smell as their primary sense, it will tell from your hormones if you are a threat or not.” Said Carlisle. Edward obeyed extending his hand for the horse to sniff. The hose took a few whiffs and decided Edwards wasn’t a threat. And lowered its head.

“Give it a scratch behind the ear… it’s always itchy there and it’s one place they find hard to scratch on trees.” Said Carlisle. Edward obeyed and the hose seemed to enjoy it. Edward stroked its neck. It wasn’t as soft there, more smooth like plastic and shiny when you went with the grain and coarse and sharp when you went against it.

“The horse has good taste… he likes you.” Said Carlisle. Edward blushed.

“How do you know it’s a He…?” asked Edward.

“Take a look between its back legs.” Carlisle chuckled. There was almost a third leg there bobbing.

“Makes you feel slightly inadequate doesn’t it.” said Carlisle clearly enjoying the situation.

Edward was bright red. “You mean I gave a horse a hard-on?” asked Edward horrified.

“Didn’t you know you have that effect on us guys.” Laughed Carlisle. He then noticed Edward was looking decidedly uncomfortable so he let Esme off her leash and she raced over to the fence. The horses took one look at her, ignored Edward and bolted off after Esme.

“They love to play chasings. Esme has a knack with farm animals, they just can’t get enough of her.” Said Carlisle. Edward breathed a sigh of relief as he watched the animals go thundering off across the field.

“You OK?” asked Carlisle.

“Yeah… that was just great… then weird.”

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have pointed out the stalactite… don’t worry, it happens all the time, animals do it when they get excited it’s not a sexual thing. Although for a cutie like you I’m sure they would make an exception.” Carlisle chuckled. Edward flushed.

“Come on let’s see what trouble Esme has got herself into…” said Carlisle diffusing the situation.

They walked off in the direction the animals took. They found Esme panting at the fence staring at the horses who were now ignoring her a dozen yards away and chewing grass.

“Esme could play all day, but I think it has its boredom threshold for the horses.” Says Carlisle slapping his thigh and calling Esme who races over to them bounding with excitement.

They continue off along the trail.

By now the sun is low in the west and it has turned the yellow grass an amazing hue of gold. Edward notices that it complimented Carlisle gold mane beautifully. The sun gleaming on his clear skin accentuating his light tan. Edward falls back slightly to admire the specimen he is walking with. He has never had the chance to really look at Carlisle and he must admit that aside from a couple of pounds he was pretty near perfect. And Edward knew that soon that weight would be gone… Could this guy be the one? The one he had been looking for in vain. The one who Jacob had failed to be?

Carlisle turned to see what was keeping Edward. He noticed Edwards gaze drifting up and down him. Carlisle blushed and looked away embarrassed and thinking Edward was noting his imperfections.

Edward picked up on his change in demeanour.  He’d like to find the bastards that had treated Carlisle so badly, that had destroyed his confidence in himself. That made him hate himself. It was too cruel. A man who had the purest soul Edward had ever seen, being crushed like that… He’d like to humiliate them like that and see how they liked it. He wished he could do something about it. Something to show Carlisle that he wasn’t the hideous fat beast he thought he was, but a beautiful kind man.

Carlisle paused deciding to stop Edward’s cataloguing his failings as a man. They were now at the top of a small rise. “Take a look at that.” Said Carlisle pointing to shift Edwards attention. Edward came up to where he was and looked in the direction Carlisle was directing. From here they had a great view of the valley and the sun setting behind the mountains to the west.

Edwards breath caught, he hadn’t seen anything this beautiful for a long time. Not since when he was a kid and he saw the sun set into the pacific for the first time.

He had a strange wish that one day he and Carlisle could stand on a beach and watch the life giving inferno slowly sink into the vast dark waters… See the sky turned to red... See Carlisle’s strong feature’s blazing like the sun itself… like they were now.

“Thankyou.” Edward involuntarily said.

“What for?” Carlisle questioned.

‘For saving me’ was what Edward wanted to say, but he only managed to say “For bringing me here, for showing me this life.”

“Thank you for sharing it with me…” said Carlisle. “You know for years, since I moved here I dreamed that one day I would stand on a rise with a special someone and show them the beauty of this area. Thank you for making my wish come true.”

“And what happens then in your dream?” Edward fishes.

Carlisle smiles… “The impossible.”

Edward knew what Carlisle meant… and he was overcome with a strange urge… “What… something like this?” Edward asks then slowly leans over and as both of them are bathed in the golden sunlight kisses Carlisle chastely on the lips.

It was perfect…

There they were bathed in the golden light of the setting sun, standing on top of a hillock with a sweeping view of the Napa Valley, Edward had his lips pressed to Carlisle’s. Nothing felt so right. So at peace with everything.

Carlisle made no attempt to deepen the kiss. He was half in shock at the unexpected turn of events and half so enjoying himself that he didn’t dare move lest he ruin the occasion.

Edward had other things on his mind and his hands came up to wrap around Carlisle thick wast. He pressed his lips closer to Carlisle’s and Carlisle responded this time. Carlisle hands came up to wrap around Edwards narrow waist and he risked allowing his tongue to tease Edwards upper lip. Edwards tongue came put to meet his and they lightly touched. It was an explorative kiss, the kind teenagers on their first date might have. Unsure of the boundaries and exactly what to do.

Edward decided to throw caution to the wind and opened his mouth to receive Carlisle and Carlisle wasted no time accepting the invitation. Their tongues caressed as their lips massaged each other. Carlisle held Edward close, he could feel Edward growing arousal against his thigh and Edward could feel Carlisle’s.

Then as suddenly as the mood came over him the panic set into Edwards mind. He felt trapped. The images of Felix involuntarily came rushing into his head, he tried to ignore it, knowing that the situations were in no ways similar, but he couldn’t help it. His manhood shrank and he started hyperventilating.

Carlisle picked up on the mood change and broke the kiss loosening his grip and moving half a step away. Not enough to completely detach but enough to prevent their bodies from touching anywhere but their hands at their waists... He deliberately didn’t take his hands off Edward’s hips though, he left them there as a sign that he was not rejecting Edward but instead giving him space

“Edward? You alright… did I do something wrong? I’m sorry I went to fast…” Carlisle beseeched.

Edward shook his head, tears of frustration forming… would he ever be able to be with a man and not have these feelings resurface… was he going to blow his one chance at happiness with Carlisle with his past coming back to haunt him?

A determined look came over Edward’s face. He was going to master this… he was in control. He grabbed Carlisle and attacked his lips, his hands running down to Carlisle firm buttocks and grabbing them hard. He thrust his groin straight at Carlisle’s and ground it in... He was going to kiss Carlisle into next week… he was going to kiss him so hard that it would knock any other thoughts out of both their heads... then sore ass of not he was going to get Carlisle to fuck him right here, right now. No ghosts were going to stop him now.

Carlisle picked up the change in mood, he struggled and eventually managed to prised Edward off him.

“Edward… what is it?” he asked worried.

“Don’t you want to?” Edward asked confused.

“Yes Edward… very much… but not like this. What came over you? I understand you being nervous but then…”

“What not good enough for you.” The words were out before Edward could stop them. Attack was his natural form of defence.

“No… and you know that’s rubbish.” Carlisle stroked the back of his hand down Edward’s check. “Talk to me Edward… tell me what I did wrong… I want this to work between us. I want us to be whole.”

Edward broke away from Carlisle’s embrace, he walked a few yards away and looked out at the sunset, he couldn’t face Carlisle right now. He no longer knew what he wanted. He felt trapped. He also felt angry he felt this way. He also felt dirty that he was going to have sex with Carlisle just to prove that he could. Thank God Carlisle stopped him.

Carlisle stood there patiently, not saying a word. Letting Edward wrestle with his demons. Carlisle knew that this probably had a lot to do with Edward’s assault. That it compounded his general fear of intimacy. Carlisle kicked himself for moving beyond a gentle first kiss. He should have been patient; he should have waited. He shouldn’t have been so dammed horny…

“I’m sorry.” Edward finally choked out.

Carlisle used this as the cue to get closer to Edward though still remaining a pace away.

“Don’t be… you’ve been through a lot. These things take time… Edward don’t worry… don’t rush. Believe me. I think you are worth waiting for…”

Edward didn’t know how Carlisle had the ability to say the right things at the right time but that was definitely it. He turned. Tears streaming down his face.

“Let’s go home and cook those stakes… The garden looks beautiful in the sunset.” Carlisle said. Edward dumbly nodded agreement.

Before he called Esme to let her know the walk was over and that they were heading home he had to say one more thing to Edward, before the moment was completely gone.

“Edward…” Edward looked into Carlisle eyes questioningly. “Thank you for making a wish come true.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I originally wrote the hole rape scene, but thought it too graphic to publish, anyone who is thinks more needs to be written about that scene please request it and I might post it as an outtake, but it was really painful to write, I hated hurting poor Edward after all he has been through, but I think it was important to the story.  
> The next chapter is only being started so it will take a few weeks (Sorry) but I’ll try and get it done as soon as I can. All I can say for now is it won’t be plain sailing for our boys, but the worst is over; hopefully…


	3. A Long Road of Single Steps.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How will Carlisle and Edward deal with the change in their relationship? Can they both put their troubled past's behind them and embrace happiness or will they run from these unfamiliar feelings?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK I’m sorry this is a long ass chapter, but there was a lot to say and I didn’t want to cut anything out. It’s also pretty schmaltzy, but I thought we needed a change from the heavy stuff... and, well, the characters made me do it :-) … It is coming up to Valentine’s day after all.  
> Oh and a warning to the sensitive, the dream sequence half way through has slightly graphic horror.

Carlisle and Edward headed home. Neither talked much.  Both lost in their thoughts of the intimacy they shared on top of the hillock, both worrying about Edward’s demons.

When they got home Edward went and talked to Bella as Carlisle tried to give Esme a brush to get the burrs out of her coat. Carlisle had a good talk to her about how he stuffed it up with Edward and pushed him too far.

Meanwhile Edward was having a similar heart to heart with Bella.

“I screwed it up again darling… we were going so good, then I freaked out… When am I ever going to stop doing that? I mean I never do it with clients. Why is it just with the one guy that actually cares for me?” Tears began to roll down his cheeks.  ‘When did I become such a cry baby?’ he thought.

Bella as always understood Edward. She snuggled into him letting him know it would all be fine.

“That’s easy to say… I then made it worse, I practically tried to rape him Bella… I actually tried to jump him in a paddock… Fuck! Why he puts up with my shit I don’t know.”

Bella rubbed her cheek on Edward’s nose. How only a cat could understand such things was beyond Edward.  He knew it was all anthropomorphic and in his mind, but he could swear Bella was talking to him… It’s not like he heard a voice or anything; it was just him interpreting her actions. But he always seemed to guess right.

“What am I going to do? How can I face him after behaving like that?”

Bella patted her paw against Edward’s nose.

“I should shut up and man up and go out there?” Edward picked Bella up and held her under her armpits looking her in the eyes “That’s easy for you to say…” Bella licked the tip of his nose which tickled, forcing him to avert is gaze; she so owned his ass when it came to staring each other down.

“OK, I give up, you’re the one with psychic powers.” Bella meowed at this. “What don’t diss the ability ay?”

Edward heard footsteps in the hall and after a few moments a soft knock on the door.

“Edward are you OK?” Carlisle voice was soft but full of concern.

“Yeah, just settling Bella for the night.” Edward lied, if he told Carlisle he got advice from his cat he would think he’s mad.

“Do you think she’s hungry? We could try her out on some of the food we got.” Said Carlisle glad that they were on a mundane subject, he had no idea what to say about what passed between them this afternoon.

“Good idea.” Said Edward putting Bella down on the bed and going over to the door. He wiped his tear stained eyes with his hands hoping Carlisle wouldn’t notice.

As soon as he opened the door Carlisle noticed, but he said nothing because his eyes were pretty red as well. Edward wanted to ask if Carlisle was OK but didn’t know what to say.  So instead they went to the kitchen, which smelled wonderfully of spices; Edward commented on this. “That’s desert cooking.” Explained Carlisle.

They went and got Bella’s favorite kibble and put it in the bowl Carlisle especially bought for her. A shiny pink crockery bowl with flowers on it. Edward thought he was mad buying it, any bowl would do, but it seemed to make Carlisle happy, so what was the harm?

They took the bowl up to Edward’s room and put it on the floor, Bella pounced on it, eating it with gusto.

“Been a big day for her too.” Said Carlisle, Edward nodded in agreement. They stood watching Bella eat for a while. Then Carlisle’s stomach grumbled and they both laughed.

“Is it too soon to heat up the BBQ?” asked Carlisle not wanting to push, but he only had some crappy sandwiches at lunch at the conference and he was starving.

“Sure…” said Edward.

“You want a Beer? I’m having one.”

“I think we deserve it after today.” Said Edward. Carlisle smiled at this.

He got two coronas’ out of the fridge and they went out to the back deck to start the grill. Esme was planted in a cane chair nearest to the BBQ, it was too small for her and she spilled out of both sides.

“Sorry about the chair, but she took to it as a puppy and isn’t interested in any other.” Said Carlisle then pointing to the larger more comfortable outdoor sofa also on the deck. “Guess it’s because it’s the chair I used to sit in.”

“No problems, I’ll pull another up.” Said Edward bring two other chairs over.

They sat watching the last of the sun set hitting the mountains in the distance… it was a beautiful view over Carlisle’s meticulous garden of about an acre, over to the hills in the distance. Edward couldn’t believe everything that happened today. This morning he woke up in a homeless shelter worrying about how the earn enough money to put a roof over their heads without permanently wrecking his ass, now he was sitting drinking beer on a deck, gazing at the beautiful scenery, like a normal person… all in one day.

“You have a beautiful place here…” said Edward.

“Mom loved gardens… I inherited the garden bug from her… It still needs plenty done… The ponds are nowhere near finished, I have a brook to dig. The gardens could do with weeding… but it’s getting there… it was just knee length grass when we moved in. All the tree’s we planted.”

Edward gazed at the semi mature trees that were already giving form to the garden, under them were garden beds heavily planed with shrubs and ground covers. There was a large lily covered pond, almost a small lake at the far end of the garden with a gentle water spout a large expanse of lawn lead down to it. There were also a few smaller ponds here and there.

Edward didn’t know what Carlisle was talking about, it looked like paradise to him. It was so much better than his parents garden and compared with the slums… he said as much to Carlisle who flushed slightly with embarrassment.

When the grill was smoking Carlisle set to work with the porterhouse.

“How do you like them?” asked Carlisle, Edward looked curious. “Rare, medium or well-done.” Clarified Carlisle.

“I’m not sure…” Edward said embarrassed at this lack of knowledge. “I guess well done?”

“Sound’s good.” Said Carlisle. “You know there is a knack to cooking a steak right through so it stays juicy… Most people think anyone who orders well done deserves what they get, but it’s much harder to cook it… If I want to test a new restaurant that’s what I always order… If the cook can do that, then he can do anything.” Carlisle babbled, he didn’t realize how nervous he was. He prayed to God that he didn’t cremate Edward’s first steak in five years.

“Do you want me to cook the sausages for you to try as well?” Carlisle asked.

“No, there is no way I’ll eat all that steak let alone have room for sausages.” Said Edward coming to appreciate the size of the steak that was at least an inch thick.

“And you have the wedges that are in the oven as we speak.” Reminded Carlisle. Edward groaned. He wasn’t used to big meals… Carlisle might just kill him with kindness.

“We can have the sausages tomorrow… I’d like to get your opinion so I can get your favorites after work.” Explained Carlisle.

“You don’t have to… I’ll eat whatever you’re used to.” Said Edward embarrassed about all the fuss.

“This is what I usually eat… I like my food. When life was crap, I always could cheer myself up a little with something nice to eat… Guess that’s why I ended up at 265 pounds.” Said Carlisle returning his attention to the sizzling steak to cover his embarrassment that he had so totally fallen to pieces when is mother died.

“You know I can’t believe you ever were THAT fat.” Said Edward thinking he was helping.

“No, I really was.” Carlisle pulled his smart phone from his pocket. “I didn’t have many photos taken of me when I looked like that… for obvious reasons… but here’s one.” Said Carlisle scrolling through the phones memory till he found the image he was looking for, it was definitely Carlisle, but he looked so different, he had a double chin and was almost spherical. It was a selfie in front of the Grand Canyon.

“I decided to drive to the Grand Canyon, just for the day… just because I could… No one to look after anymore, no one to care where I was… If I ever came back… I got Esme from a dog shelter after that. The thoughts I had up there scared me… I wanted someone to be around that I had a reason to come home to.” Said Carlisle.

“You wouldn’t think of it to look at her but she was abandoned. Found on the road side all skin and bones and flea’s. She took a long time to trust people after that, and I guess that’s why she still has an independent streak, living on the streets can do that to you I guess.” Carlisle caught himself when he realized who he was talking to. He felt like an idiot.

Before he could apologize; Edward, noting he was beating himself up again, intervened. “So you have a history of this.” Joked Edward trying to lighten the mood. Carlisle smiled in gratitude and turned the streaks. “I’ve got a photo album inside of Esme growing up… some time you can have a look at it if you like.”

“Yeah that would be good.” Said Edward.

They settled back into silence. Edward looked over at Esme asleep on the chair. Trying to imagine the scared little puppy she must have been… it was almost impossible. Was this what would happen to him if he stayed. The evil of the past a forgotten memory. Just happiness and contentment?

Carlisle turned the grill off to let the steaks cook through on the residual heat. “I’m going to check on the wedges… Want another beer?” Carlisle asked.

“Sure… Is there anything I can do?” said Edward feeling guilty.

“No… you’re the guest. Just sit and relax.” Said Carlisle disappearing inside.

He returned shortly with two beers in one hand and a bowl and a bag of salad ingredients in the other, with a chopping board under one arm and a knife under the other. Edward hurried over to liberate some of the goods.

“Let me help.” He said.

“If you could take the beers… Living all alone I’m used to carrying a lot of things at once, or else I’d be like six inches shorter from all the walking back and forward I’d have to do.  And only being 5’10” I don’t have any too loose.” He joked.

Edward hadn’t realized that he was taller than Carlisle. Edward always walked hunched over, he couldn’t remember whether he always did or if it was just something he picked up on the streets, but he never really thought of himself as over 6 foot, and Carlisle always walked ramrod straight striding with confidence… even now carrying salad, he seemed much taller than he was.

Carlisle busied himself chopping onion for the salad. “You don’t mind onion?” he asked as an afterthought, before he added it to the lettuce.

“No… fine.” Edward then wondered if Carlisle had a double meaning with that question. Edward knew it was a famous euphemism for whether you were going to get it on latter, he looked closely at Carlisle as he worked… he didn’t think there was any double meaning.

Edward wonder if he should raise what happened that afternoon… He didn’t know what came over him. Yes, he did feel grateful to Carlisle for saving him… and if he was honest with himself there was something more… something he wasn’t sure if he was game to explore. He remembered how Carlisle looked hit by the golden sun light standing on the hillock. Almost like a Greek God. Golden hair ruffled by the wind. Strong features. Firm gaze with piercing blue eyes that seemed to see right into your soul.

Edward suddenly felt a pain in his crotch and realized that he was more excited then he thought.  This was a first… not often since Jake had he got a hard on just thinking about a guy… He was embarrassed. And pulled a cushion onto his lap hoping the problem would subside. Carlisle didn’t seem to notice. Though he had a strange smile on his face now.

By now the sun had set and the stars were coming out, winking into life one by one. A cool breeze blew across the deck and Esme stirred. Getting up and stretching before going to the back door and sitting there peering at it, giving a not so subtle hint she wanted to go inside.

“OK Girl… in a minuet.” Said Carlisle.

“Can I?” asked Edward, his embarrassment having subsided.

“Sure… Just let her in, she’ll go and lie on my bed.”

“Does she need anything to eat?”

“Well… if you can be bothered, in the same cupboard that Bella’s food is kept there will be some tinned dog food. If you can give her a third of a tin that would be good. Don’t let her gilt you out… she’s good at doing that. But she’s on a diet… like her master she’s too fond of her food.” Said Carlisle slapping his stomach and nervously laughing.

“She looks great to me…” Said Edward, he wanted to add ‘like her owner’ but somehow the words wouldn’t come out. He just caught Carlisle’s eye and they stared at each other slightly longer then needed. Carlisle’s blue eyes darkened with lust. It was as if he could read Edward’s mind. Edward broke the gaze when he felt a familiar stirring in his pants. He hurried Esme inside and fed her.

When he returned Carlisle was plating up the steaks.

“I was going to suggest we eat out here, but the breeze is a bit cold… only a few weeks ago it was lovely out at night, sorry... maybe next spring?” Said Carlisle. He looked a little hesitant wondering if his suggestion would scare Edward. Up till now it had only been a few weeks Edward would be here for.

“I’d like that.” Said Edward and Carlisle relaxed again.

They carried the food inside and Carlisle served the wedges that had been cooked with herb infused olive oil. Carlisle pointing out all the herbs were from his garden, as were the lettuce leaves.

They sat at the supper table and ate in companionable silence.

Carlisle couldn’t help noticing the difference from the last time they were here. Edward was still nervous, but the wild terror that had filled his eyes and bubbled just under the surface had subsided. Carlisle knew if he pushed it would return so he deliberately kept conversation at a minimum. Just letting Edward get used to the new life style.

They finished demolishing their steaks, which Carlisle prided himself were cooked perfectly. Just pink inside so they stayed juicy, but not a hint of blood or gore… Edward was starting to struggle with the rest of his.

“You don’t have to eat it all.” Said Carlisle… “Esme will more that happily eat any scraps.”

Edward looked pensive… he had never not finished a meal in his life. His Mother would rouse on him if his plate wasn’t clean and when on the streets even if the food was awful there wasn’t enough of it to leave any.

“I’m serious Edward… Look, any meat left over we can turn into a dish tomorrow. The fat and bones Esme can have…” Then Carlisle lowered his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “Just don’t tell her vet.” Edward smiled at this. He felt better and reluctantly pushed his plate away noting what he had left over would have done him two meals back in the slums.

“Desert?” asked Carlisle.

Edward’s eyes widened to saucers. “You’re kidding.”

“No… though better make the most of it… I don’t usually have it, so through the week it’ll be something simple.” Said Carlisle. He then picked up on Edwards hesitant look. “How about if we let this settle first. Another beer?” Edward nodded gratefully.

Carlisle cleared the table and returned with two more bottles of beer, he handed an opened bottle to Edward and sat himself down.

They sat there in silence, each gazing at the other when they thought they weren’t looking.

“What do you want to do tomorrow?” asked Carlisle breaking the silence that was starting to become uncomfortable.

“I don’t know… what do you usually do?”

“Depends… if there’s a local market on that the County has a stall at, I go along to press the flesh. It’s a good way to meet people and hear their problems. I usually hand out a newsletter that I make up quarterly of what I’m doing on the authority. But there’s nothing on this Sunday… I really was supposed to be back in Frisco at that conference.”

“Oh fuck… sorry…” said Edward feeling guilty. Carlisle kicked himself for his stupidity.

“Don’t be… it was one of the most boring times of my life. A complete waste of time... I learnt nothing. A waste of taxpayers’ money.” Carlisle then added, his voice lowering a tone. “And I’m having a much better time here with you.”

Edward flushed and tried to readjust himself without being obvious, why did Carlisle’s voice have that effect on him?

“So since I have the day off. We could hang around the house. Or if you want we could go shopping. Or catch a movie… anything you feel like. I’m declaring it a holiday… the Edward Masen Holiday. Devoted to making all the Edward Masen’s of the world happy.” Carlisle joked.

“I don’t know; I’ve never had a holiday named after me…” said Edward a little embarrassed.

“Well you better get used to it… I have a feeling that this holiday may crop up more than once a year.” Said Carlisle with a smile.

“I really don’t feel like going anywhere, if that’s ok… can we just hang around... maybe take Esme for another walk?” said Edward looking carefully at Carlisle when he mentioned walk… he wanted to gauge his reaction... see if what happened the last time creeped him out.

“I’d love that.” Said Carlisle. He noticed Edward’s nervous gaze and instinctively ran his hand across the table and lightly held Edward’s hand that was resting there. He gave it a gentle squeeze, then, not removing his hand, released Edward’s; gauging if Edward wanted to withdraw it, if he was uncomfortable with the intimacy.

Edward was… but then again he wasn’t. He didn’t know what to think. Carlisle’s hand was warm and soft and felt so good resting on top of Edward’s. But there was a side to Edward that was screaming at him to break the contact.

As if Carlisle could see the battle waging inside Edward he rubbed his thumb gently on Edward’s hand a few times and then with a smile, gently withdrew his hand. Edward let out the breath he didn’t know he was holding.

They sat again for a short while in silence, then Carlisle went and got the desert.  It was pears stewed in ginger and spice infused white wine sugar syrup. Served with lashings of cream.

“Wow.” Said Edward.

“Yeah… don’t eat it all if you can’t manage it…” said Carlisle hastily.

They hoed into the desert and Edward enjoyed it so much he was surprised when his bowl was empty. He never got food like this in the Slums or back home, his father always preferred plain deserts. Carlisle gave a satisfied smile.

They then watched some TV. Carlisle watched the late news, then a rerun of The West Wing which Carlisle loved. Edward found it hard to keep up.

During an add he asked why they spoke so fast and Carlisle chuckled. “Yes… it’s a bad habit of politicians when talking to each other… We can watch something else if you like… I’ve seen this episode about a dozen times before... I know what happens.”

“A dozen times?”

“What can I say… I love The West Wing…”

“No… its fine.” Said Edward not particularly enthusiastic over the idea, but it was Carlisle’s house and he had been so kind the least he can do is put up with his tastes in TV… Edward thought he might learn something... But wasn’t really in the mood for learning anything. An involuntary yawn escaped his mouth and he covered it quickly in embarrassment.

“Time for bed then.” Said Carlisle turning off the TV.

“No… I’m sorry, you should watch the end…” said Edward feeling guilt for his rudeness.

“I’ve got them all on DVD… I can watch it anytime.” Said Carlisle. And it’s been a big day… I’m beat too. How about an early night?”

Edward suddenly became nervous… what if Carlisle was thinking on backing away from the two-bedroom policy? Edward tried to control his breathing… ‘For god sake Edward, just think of him like another client… you do the deed then you go to sleep. It’s no biggy. You’ve done it a thousand times.’ He thought.

Carlisle picked up the nervousness.

“I’m sorry you only have a single bed in your room, I hope you will be comfortable… if not we can get you a double tomorrow?”

Edward took a few seconds to process if there were any double meaning in that. There could be, but he looked at Carlisle and saw nothing but concern.

“No… I only hand a single back at the bedsit… all I could afford. It was easier to keep warm in winter as well.” Said Edward.

“Well you don’t need to worry about that. You have an electric blanket on your bed so if you get cold during the night feel free to stick it on.”

Edward hadn’t had an electric blanket since he was sick as a kid… he could just remember how warm they made you feel… you could stretch right out and be toasty warm, no need to huddle in a ball… He couldn’t wait to try it.

Carlisle noticed the smile on Edward face and smiled himself.

“I’ve put fresh towels in the bathroom and shampoo and soap and stuff if you want to have a shower to get the day’s grime off… Take you time, we have a jumbo hot water system so really relax…” Edward thought of the idea of being able to take his time in a shower... he never had that luxury before. When he was a kid his Mother would go off if he was in the shower too long… Which was also a cramp on his burgeoning affair with his morning wood. When he was homeless at the hostels he occasionally got a shower, but they were timed; 5 minutes and you’re done, like it or not. And with his bed sit, water bills were so high he had got a shower down to a flat minuet.

Carlisle was also thinking of Edward in the shower… but for different reasons. He imagined washing Edward, taking care of him. Washing that beautiful luxuriant hair, running his fingers through its soft silkiness… Then massaging his back slowly and meticulously. Working each muscle to relax it… then   when Edward was totally relaxed, slowly moving his hands…. Carlisle snapped out of the unhelpful thought, casually re-adjusted himself. They both looked sheepishly at each other as they realised they had been caught day dreaming.

Carlisle bade Edward shower while he cleared away the dishes. Edward wanted to help, but Carlisle said he could next time.

Edward didn’t need a second invitation. He couldn’t wait to wash the grime of Frisco off him.

“I’ve laid some track pants and a sweater out for you for the morning, but sleep in what you like.” Carlisle called up the hall after Edward.

“Thanks.” Edward chorused back.

….

Edward padded out of the bathroom as Carlisle came up the hall from finishing the dishes and turning out the lights.

“Wow, that felt good.” Said Edward drying his hair. Carlisle ran his eyes over the boy. His skin pink and fresh from the hot water. His hair delightfully messed up and damp. Edward smelt of shampoo and soap, but also just of Edward… it was the most erotic odour Carlisle had ever smelled.

“I’m glad… you know you didn’t need to hurry.” Said Carlisle.

“Hurry?’ I was in there for ages…” said Edward surprised, stopping his ministration on his hair.

“Ages… you weren’t even fifteen minutes… I like too take a good hour when I relax.” Said Carlisle.

Edward eyes opened wide. He had never heard of anything so extravagant.

“Yeah… I’m afraid I like to hog the shower… Now that no one can tell me I’m taking too long… that’s something you’ll have to get used to… you can always shower first to be on the safe side.” Said Carlisle wishing one day they would shower together… but he didn’t want to get his hopes up.

Edward smiled at his candour.

“Bella need anything before you go to sleep?” asked Carlisle.

“No… she’s a cat of simple tastes…” Said Edward.

“Don’t hold your breath… once she gets used to the good life she’ll expect to be spoiled rotten. We had a cat once that started as a stray and became the biggest fuss pot ever…”

Edward silently hoped Carlisle was wrong… if he was going to leave, then Bella wouldn’t be able to get used to this life style.

The thought of leaving made Edward feel uneasy… the thing he had so desired the first time he was in this house seemed unpleasant to him at the moment. He wiped the thoughts from his mind, they were worries for another day.

Carlisle bade Edward good night. So wanting to kiss him. Edward hovered at his door too. It was like there was a bond linking them. Carlisle walked up to Edward and looked into his eyes.

“You’ll be right for the night?” he asked gazing into Edward’s sparkling ever-green eyes.

“Yeah.” Edward said absent mindedly staring into Carlisle’s blazing blues.

The next minuet Carlisle leant over and placed his lips on Edward’s chastely. They barely touched. And just as soon as they had come they parted; leaving Edward tingling all over and wanting more. His head followed Carlisle’s as if drawn by magnetism. But Carlisle broke the kiss and took a step away. Pleased at the response he elicited, but not wanting to push Edward too fast. This was going to take a while. And Edward needed to feel comfortable with each step. Always left wanting a little more was better than freaking out.

Carlisle raised his hand and cupped Edward’s cheek. He ran his soft thumb over Edward’s flush warm skin.

“Sleep tight my love.” He said. And tuned and went into the bathroom himself closing the door.

Edward stood there stunned. This was so far from what he was expecting his mind couldn’t process it. Finally, after he didn’t know how long standing in the hall like a dummy staring at the closed bathroom door, he went into his bedroom to talk it over with Bella… she might know what the fuck just happened.

As he sat talking to Bella on the bed he noticed that the room he was in was decorated in all pastel shades. Very effeminate. Then it dawned on him... he was in Carlisle mother’s room… ‘God I hope she didn’t die in here.’ Thought Edward, then brushing the idea away. ‘Come on Edward she probably died in a hospital.’

‘I wonder if she would have approved of me being here? Of Carlisle’s feeling for me? Der, her son mixed up with a street kid and a hooker? Go figure.’

….

Edward slept better than he had in years, warm, snug and safe. And this meant he dreamt more than usual.

At first they were silly dreams that made no sense. But finally they settled on Carlisle. He was on the hill again hit by the sun. He looked beautiful and he reached out and called Edward to come to him. Edward ran through the glistening golden grass up the hill and fell into his arms. They kissed passionately… deeply. Their hands exploring each other’s body. Their tongues every crevasse of each other’s mouths.

Just as they were about to start undoing buttons, storm clouds came up from nowhere, blocking out the sun… Then there was a sinister wailing coming from down the hill. Edward was forced to break the kiss and see where it emanated from.

Suddenly a mouldering corpse appeared, wearing a tattered dress. It staggered up the hill with difficulty. One hand outstretched, a bony ringer with half the flesh hanging from it pointing directly at Edward. Edward turned to Carlisle for protection, he seemed 6’6” and built like a Greek God. But he smiled at the corpse. As it neared Carlisle said to it in a soft voice “Mom, this is Edward… we are in love.”

The corpse hissed back “Noooo.  Get away from my son you whore… you’re not good enough for him.”

Edward tried to hang onto Carlisle for protection, but for some reason he was slipping away from him. He tried and tried to get purchase on his arms, his waist, his neck, grab his clothes; but it was like his fingers had gone to sleep and couldn’t grip properly. The Mother/corpse was almost on top of him now. It had grown from a little old lady to a giant with fangs and claws. As it reached out to Edward he desperately tried to get Carlisle to save him, but Carlisle just stood there smiling that inane smile… The corpse lashed out with its claws slashing Edward, when Edward turned to Carlisle he was gone and Felix stood their laughing as he unbuckled his belt… “Fool… now where can you run to.” He sneered. Edward was caught between the corpse and Felix, he couldn’t escape, he had nowhere to go…

He woke up to the sounds of screams… his own.

….

Carlisle was woken by the scream. He fell out of bed and then was almost bowled over by Esme wanting to go and investigate. He pulled on some boxers and wrestled with Esme to keep her in the bedroom. Then ran to Edward’s room.

He knocked on the door. “Edward… are you ok? Edward… Are you alright?” He called. He finally just opened the door and seeing Edward siting bolt upright in bed panting like mad he raced over and held him.

Edward jumped not recognising him at first… then when recognition came, he sank into the embrace and started sobbing.

Carlisle stroked his back gently, Edward was soaked through with sweat. Carlisle rocked him like a mother would its child. “It’s alright… it was just a dream… no one is going to hurt you here… I’ll protect you.” He said soothingly… It was so much what Edward had wanted to hear.

Finally, the sobs died down and Edward started to pull himself back together. He liked how warm and strong Carlisle arms felt wrapped around him and how solid and warm his shoulder was.  Edward could spend the rest of the night like this.  But he soon started feeling stupid that he had embarrassed himself.  He raised his head reluctantly from Carlisle’s shoulder.

“You all right Baby?” Carlisle was still shaking off sleep and so not entirely aware that for the first time he had used a nick name for Edward; Edward however wasn’t. He was again at war with himself. Part of him reflexively wanted to get away from the familiarity, but another part of him enjoyed it and wanted more.

Carlisle picked up Edward’s tension; he pulled away a bit from Edward, but still kept a loose hold of him, giving him space but not wanting him to feel abandoned. “Edward… your dream. If I did anything to cause it… if what I did tonight…” Carlisle was feeling guilty. He shouldn’t have pushed Edward so far… damn him and his hornyness.

It took a few moments for Edward to work out what Carlisle meant. “No.” he said hurriedly. “I often have nightmares…” Edward wasn’t game to admit that this one had a completely different subject then the others… except for Felix… he stared in most of Edward’s nightmares, every night since…

Carlisle pressed Edward to him stroking his back. “God… what you have been through.” He said. “I wish I could make it alright for you Edward… I really do.” Carlisle felt so impotent. Unable to punish the people who did this to Edward, nor able to wipe them from his memory. All he could do was comfort him and that seemed like so little.

“It’s OK. There getting better.” Said Edward lying but still clutching onto Carlisle for dear life… he didn’t know why he wanted to ease Carlisle’s mind.

“We better get you some dry clothes… your soaked through.” Said Carlisle.

“I’ve got a change in the back pack you found.” Said Edward. Carlisle went and got it from the top of the chest of draws and brought them to Edward.

“Think you will sleep?” Asked Carlisle changing the subject.

“I guess so, when I’ve calmed down a bit.”

“Would you like some hot milk?”

“Hot milk?” Edward hadn’t had that since he last visited his nanna’s when he was a kid, so strange for a man to offer it to him.

“Hot milk has Tryptophan in it, it makes the brain produce serotonin which is a serenity boosting neurotransmitter.” Said Carlisle, he also knew tryptophan was one of the world’s greatest placebos.

“How do you know that…” said Edward.

“I know everything.” Carlisle joked sleepily. “Would you like some?”

“Yeah… I could do with some serenity.” Joked Edward.

“I’ll bring it in.” said Carlisle getting off the bed. Edward was by his side in a flash… the last thing he wanted was to be in this room, alone, at night… He knew it was stupid, but he was sure Mrs Cullen’s ghost was haunting it.  He would have to talk to Carlisle about that in the morning… he was too scared to tonight.

“Can I come?” Edward asked sheepishly.

“Of course… change of atmosphere always works to dispel sleep ghosts.” Said Carlisle.

“What?” asked Edward a little too nervously, wondering if the house was indeed haunted… ‘Why didn’t Carlisle tell him about this?’

“I don’t know, that’s what I call dreams that hang around. You wake up then go back to sleep and they start again, you can’t escape them. Getting up and changing the environment even for 5 minutes often helps dispel them.”

“Oh.” Said Edward feeling foolish. But he still was Carlisle’s shadow down the hall.

“Will Bella be OK?” asked Carlisle dreamily walking on auto pilot.

“Yes... she’s used to my nightmares. She’ll have the hump and sleep on the windowsill till morning to punish me for ruining her sleep.”

“Cat’s.” Chuckled Carlisle shaking his head.

They went to the kitchen and Carlisle put a saucepan of milk on the stove.

“You want to watch some TV… often helps.” He asked.

“No… here’s cool.” Said Edward propping himself up on a stool at the breakfast counter.

Carlisle looked at him; bleary eyes, sleep messed hair. He had never seen anything more beautiful in this kitchen.

When the milk was just on simmering he poured it into two mugs with a spoon of sugar in each. “Good for shock” he said. “Or that’s my excuse… not that I have a sweet tooth or anything.” Before he gave Edward his mug he pulled a greater out of the draw and a dark brown nut off the spice-rack. Edward wondered what he was doing.

Carlisle noted the stare and explained. “Nutmeg has myristicin in it, that’s like natural LSD… combine with the serotonin you should have happy dreams from this cup.” He smiled. “I always great mine freshly… much better than that sawdust they sell in containers in the shop.”

“Is there anything you don’t know?” asked Edward shaking his head as Carlisle handed him the mug.

“The dead tonnage of what I don’t know could probably kill a team of oxen… but I do remember lots of useless crap like myristicin and tryptophan; but ask me what the square root of pie is, I’d be lost.”

“1.772453851” Edward mumbled without thinking.

“Whoa! Hello Brainiac.” Said Carlisle, Edward flushed…

“I have no idea why I said that.”

“Good at maths as a kid were you?”

“Yeah I guess so.”

“I hate people like you.” said Carlisle joking. Edward took it seriously; a pained look came over his face. “Hey… I was joking. Really, you don’t know how happy I am that you said that. I always knew you were smart. Now I have been proven right. And I hate being wrong, ever.” Carlisle joked.

They finished their milk in silence and Carlisle took the mug from Edward, rinsed them both and put them in the dish washer.

“Now… bed.” Said Carlisle a little too enthusiastically. “You be OK?” He added.

Edward was terrified to go back into the room. He knew it was stupid, and he would feel like a prize goose in the morning, but this was night and that dream was a little too real for his liking.

“Umm” He said.

“Edward… Would you like… to sleep in my bed?” Carlisle asked hesitantly. “I mean just sleep, I won’t touch you or anything… I promise.”

“I know you won’t… Yeah… Could I please?”

Carlisle beamed at this, then realizing he didn’t want to make a big thing of it tried to look serious, not with great effect.

They went up the hall and opened the master bedroom door to be bowled over by Esme worried about what was happening.

Carlisle managed to calm her down. “I’ll put her up in the lounge room.” Said Carlisle.

“No… it’s her house… I’m the intruder... she can stay.” Said Edward not exactly sure of himself.

“You sure… she can spread out quite a bit… and… well… how can I put it…?  In her sleep she likes to woof from both ends, if you know what I am saying.”

Edward chuckled at this. “I don’t think a fart is going to kill me.”

“I wouldn’t get my hopes up… some of her’s are banned by the UN as weapons of mass destruction… Don’t tell the pentagon.” Carlisle quipped. He was in a silly mood for some reason… maybe it was the myristicin, or maybe it was sleeping with Edward again. Whatever it was, he was feeling on top of the world.

Edward went and changed into fresh clothes in the bathroom then they climbed into Bed and Esme deliberately got in-between them. ‘Cock blocker’ thought Carlisle. Edward was looking a little pensive so Carlisle gladly made Esme go over to Carlisle’s side of the bed. She didn’t like it but obeyed and after a stomach scratch she had forgotten that she was mad.

“You OK?” asked Carlisle before he put the light out.

“Yeah thanks…”

They lay there on either side of the bed in the dark like teenagers on a sleep out.

“Carlisle…” Edward eventually said.

“Yes Edward?”

“Ummm… can… I… um… I feel a little scared.” Edward felt like a fool admitting this and he couldn’t see that Carlisle smiled at this.

“Well we can’t have that.” Said Carlisle rolling over and pulling Edward to him. “That better?” he asked.

“Yes.” Said Edward snuggling into him… He hadn’t done this for years and he forgot how good it was to lie with someone you cared for. He snuggled closer, eventually Carlisle ended up on his back and Edward placed his head on Carlisle’s chest. He could hear the soft thud of his heart beating, it sounded so relaxing.

Soon all three of them were asleep.

~xxXxx~

Carlisle woke, sun was streaming in the window bathing the room in milky light. He looked down at Edward still snuggled up on his chest, the sun was kissing his hair, turning it to copper. He lowered his head till his nose brushed through the bronze locks, he took in a deep breath; it smelled a little of the brand of shampoo that Carlisle used, but mostly of pure Edward. Carlisle breathed in the heady aroma, he had never been so happy. He took the time to gaze over Edward, cataloging his perfections.

Manly eyebrows. A beautiful straight nose. His eye lids slightly crinkled as he slept, his eye fluttering about under them, no doubt dreaming; hopefully of something beautiful, as beautiful as him… For that’s what Carlisle wished for Edward.  Nothing but happy dreams it’s what he deserved.

He knew those green eyes beneath the dancing lids could capture a man’s soul and hold it hostage… the guys in Frisco needed their heads read for not seeing how wonderful Edward was, just from those green eyes alone.

Then there was that strong manly jaw… perfect for a fashion model. The flawless skin, so pale in spite of the Californian sun. Though he did have a small scar next to his left eyebrow… Carlisle made a note to ask Edward some time about it… then he thought again… that might be a memory that Edward would rather forget… ‘God there were some bastards in this world.’ Carlisle thought.

He moved on… his lips. Like magenta couches in an ivory palace. Why magenta…? Carlisle knew magenta was the color of passion. And those lips could fill a man with so much passion; he thought he could drown in it and die a happy man.

The crooked smile that graced them occasionally, far too occasionally for Carlisle; he wanted to see more of that heart stopper… it was the one perfect imperfection. He knew that passion also lay under those lips... that it just had to be properly awakened and Edward would be one of the most sensuous men alive… he just needed it coaxed out of him.

As if Edward knew Carlisle was watching him; and being the shy boy he was, Edward rolled off Carlisle to face the window - still sleeping. Carlisle was amazed how a boy who had seen so much, who had had to sell his body to buy bread, could remain so shy, so pure... it was a miracle. Even the bastards that had tried to break him had failed. His purity was stronger than their kind would even know… They didn’t deserve to touch the soles of his shoes, let alone have his most cherished possession… Carlisle felt a tear role down his cheek as his emotions blazed away.

He decided then to make today just what he said it would be last night; the Edward Masen public holiday of happiness.

He slowly and carefully got out of bed, so as not to disturb the sleeping Edward, put some socks on because the wood floor was cold in the morning and whispered to Esme to be quiet.

She followed him out of the room and Carlisle closed the door behind him so Edward wouldn’t be disturbed by any noises. Esme then followed Carlisle down the hall to the kitchen.

Carlisle gave Esme some kibble for breakfast and then he flicked the radio on with a smile, it was a local station; a mix of news, interviews and music… he then set to work. He was going to give Edward a surprise…

….

Edward roused slowly swimming out of slumber. He had been having a beautiful dream about Carlisle’s garden and Carlisle. Not erotic, just the two of them running about having fun. It was wonderful. He looked out the window and saw it was a beautiful sunny day, maybe his dream was a premonition, he would have to ask Carlisle to show him his garden.  He was sensitive about it not being perfect, but Edward though it paradise.

He heard a clatter in the kitchen and suddenly realized he was in Carlisle’s bed. He remembered how caring and gentle Carlisle had been last night with his dream… no one had been like that with him. Was this it… was Carlisle really the one he had dreamed of yet secretly thought he would never find. He reached out for him but he was gone... he sat up and saw Esme wasn’t there either… strange… He got out of bed to go and investigate.

Edward padded down the hall and heard the radio on, music coming quietly out of the kitchen; Huey Lewis and the news “hip too be square” was playing. There was an unusual vocal with it.

When Edward got to the kitchen door he couldn’t believe the sight that greeted him. On the stove were several pans sizzling with ingredients, the smell was wonderful… And dancing… yes he couldn’t believe his eyes, dancing over to the fridge was a sock footed Carlisle; dancing away to the music and singing too. Esme was following him around jumping up and down thinking the whole thing was a game. And Carlisle deviated a bit on his way to the fridge so Esme could run around him a couple of times while he was boogieing away. Edward never knew straight laced Carlisle had it in him… it was just like Tom Cruise in that movie, what was it called again? But with a dog.

“Don't tell me that I'm crazy  
Don't tell me I'm nowhere  
Take it from me  
  
It's hip to be square  
It's hip to be square  
It's hip to be square  
So hip to be square  
Tell 'em, boys”

“Oh you know it baby” Carlisle ad-libbed while sticking his head in the fridge. He stood up with a box of eggs in his hands, turned around and came eye to eye with Edward’s bemused gaze; he dropped the eggs and just managed to save them before they hit the floor.

Carlisle’s face was bright red.

Edward thought of making an amusing statement, but thought Carlisle’s embarrassment would go through the roof, he might even think he was mocking him. So instead he just said “Mmmm something smells good.”

Carlisle relaxed now, knowing that his antics were not going to be mocked. “I thought I’d cook you an English breakfast… My parents were English and well, it’s one of the good things that Mom got from Dad was the ability to cook an English breakfast.”

“Wow… you didn’t have to.” Said Edward.

“Remember this is Edward Masen day, so I thought you’d need the energy to keep you going through all the fun things we’re going to do.”

Edward smiled at this. “Like what?”

“As I said last night, anything you want.” Then his smiling face settled to a more serious note… “How did you sleep, no more nightmares?”

“None, just happy dreams… that mystic…? trip…? Stuff! must have worked…” said Edward embarrassed that he couldn’t remember the names.

Carlisle chuckled “I like that… mystic trip hot milk… I think I’ll call it that in future. I might copyright that name… I’m glad it worked.” He said, he wanted to add ‘you only deserve happy dreams.’ But resisted the urge.

He cracked eggs into another hot fry pan and began frying them.

“Wow, there’s a lot of food here for just us.” Said Edward.

“I’ll be having just coffee… I hate breakfast.” Said Carlisle

“What… how much do you think I can eat?” said Edward alarmed.

“You’d be surprised, people can put away a lot more English breakfast then they think, but with whatever is left over, we can have one of my specialty’s… English breakfast pizza for lunch.”

“What…”

“All the left overs of breakfast on a pizza crust… It tastes a lot better than it sounds.”

“I’ll take your word for it.” Edward thought he had had to eat peoples left over hamburger buns and soggy fries out of garbage bins... he certainly wasn’t going to be fussy. And Carlisle certainly knew how to cook. He’d have to get him to teach him, it would be useful. Half of him thought for when he went back, the other half rebelled at this idea and thought it would be good to share the burden of cooking dinner with Carlisle; in fact, he’d love to see the expression on Carlisle’s face when he came home from a hard day’s work and found dinner all ready for him… ‘Fuck when did I become this domestic Mrs Beaver…’ thought Edward.

Carlisle plated up Edward’s breakfast which consisted of fried bread, bacon, sausages, eggs, mushrooms, onion rings, and halved tomatoes. Edward hoed into it with gusto, surprised at how much he could eat. Meanwhile Carlisle made two cups of coffee. Edward had never tasted coffee like it, compared to the stuff the mission served it was like wine to vinegar.  He hummed his appreciation.

“Rainforest certified, fair trade coffee. Mainly because it tastes good, but I can drink it with a clear conscience as well… every bit helps.” Said Carlisle. “So what do you want to do today?”

“I don’t know… can you show me your garden?” asked Edward making it look like a spur of the moment thing and not something he had been thinking about since yesterday afternoon.

“Sure… that’s a good idea… It’s going to be a lovely day; we could have a picnic lunch by the pond…”

“Sounds good.”

So after breakfast they fed Bella and then headed out to explore the garden. Carlisle showing Edward each area; Esme coming along to see what they were doing, occasionally bothering Carlisle with a stick she found, wanting to play... Edward enjoyed this game and pretty soon Esme realized she had a captive play mate with Edward...

The garden was divided into rooms with grass pathways between them. Each room had a loose theme. The morning room that got the morning sun in winter. Summer shade room which had big trees planted densely around it creating a woodland effect. There was a rose room with a stone sundial. The vegetable and herb garden where rows of edibles were interspaced with cut flowers for picking. Carlisle said his mother loved flower arranging and he kept planting them, even though he rarely bothered bringing them inside. He said many of them attracted beneficial insects that killed bugs that munch on the edible crops.

Then they went down to the pond. Carlisle pointed out the track for the brook he was eventually going to dig. How it would link up the numerous small ponds in the garden rooms and you would be able to follow it throughout the garden till it finally emptied into the main lake. Edward couldn’t wait to see what it looked like.

After the tour, while Edward played with Esme, Carlisle went and got some more coffee for morning tea and they sat in wooden chairs by the lake in the shade of an immature redwood.

“It was the first tree we planted… we knew it would outlive both of us so it made Mom’s demise seem somehow less close… Shame it never got taller than her before…” Carlisle looked away, not wanting to trouble Edward with the hurt in his eyes.

Edward wondered how long these thoughts had haunted Carlisle here all by himself… what did he do to stop them consuming him?

Edward wished he was better with these things… he had no idea what to say to comfort Carlisle… he felt so useless.

“I wish I could have met her.” Was the best that Edward could come up with.

Carlisle wiped away a tear and let out an almost bitter chuckle… “No you don’t.  She was a wonderful person, and everyone, my family excluded, loved her… but she was a fundamentalist Christian… she hated gay’s…” Said Carlisle neutrally.

“But you…”

“I never told her… when could I… when we were fighting for survival with our family? They would have used it as another example of my lack of male parentage and her failure as a mother… Then when she was dying it seemed cruel to mention it… I thought ‘let her die with her fantasy that I would meet the right girl and settle down intact…’ anything else would have crushed her… she would never have understood…”

“But what did that do to you, not being able to be honest with your mother?”

“I don’t know…” There was a battle waging in Carlisle as to how or even if, to answer that… He finally decided to play it safe and change the subject… “Look Its nearly lunch time… do you want to try the breakfast pizza or would you rather the left over steak as a Thai beef salad?” Asked Carlisle.

Edward knew he was in sensitive territory and so backed off… he hoped one day he and Carlisle could have a talk about it… But Carlisle in his way had now shifted the conversation onto an uncomfortable topic for Edward, putting him on the hotspot, he looked a little sheepish. “Would you be offended if I said the salad?” he asked quietly.

“Of course I would… it’s a slight to my culinary expertise.” Said Carlisle in a mock serious voice before laughing. Edward joined in. The tension of earlier had evaporated and Edward couldn’t believe it was the same person siting opposite him.

Carlisle got up and went and made the salad while Edward played with Esme. Carlisle watched them out the kitchen window, glad that they had become friends... he had been so worried about that… ‘now we just needed to get Esme and Bella to not kill each other and the family will be whole…’ thought Carlisle.

He brought the salad out on a tray with plates and two cold beers. “I thought we deserved them.” said Carlisle handing Edward a bottle.

They enjoyed the meal in the shade. Edward complimenting Carlisle on his culinary skills.

“Can you teach me how to cook like this?” Asked Edward.

“Sure I’d love to… I would have shown you, I just thought you weren’t interested.”

“No… I mean Dad used to yell at me if I spent time in the kitchen… saying it was woman’s work… that stopped me learning and I guess I’ve been a little kitchen shy ever since.”

“That man has a lot to answer for… How did you get by in your bed sit… ready prepared meals are so expensive?”

“I used to just boil up whatever vegetables they were throwing out at the green grocer and some meat if I could afford it. It didn’t taste all that good but it was cheap and nourishing…”

“I can show you some inexpensive meals that are easy to prepare… Mom and I said we were going to write a cook book called ‘50c family meals in an electric frypan’… cause that’s all we had to cook with.”

“Sounds like my kind of cooking.” Said Edward.

“I thought it might be up your alley… Tell you what, if you like you can help cook dinner…”

“Really? I mean I don’t know if I’m ready… I don’t want to stuff anything up.”

“There’s not a lot you can… we’ll start simple and work our way up. We’ve got left over bacon, we might have spaghetti carbonara.”

“Wow… that sounds hard.”

“It’s just spaghetti with bits of bacon and a cream sauce…”

“Oh… I think I can do that.”

….

The rest of the afternoon was spent relaxing in the garden.

When the sun was getting low, Carlisle suggested they take Esme for a walk. Edward agreed but he was a little nervous of a repeat of what happened last time. Carlisle picked this up and just smiled… When they headed out the gate they took another route.

“I thought we might go through the vineyards instead… just for a change.” Carlisle said to Edward’s questioning looks.

“We won’t meet anyone will we?” Edward asked nervously.

“Why? Shy?” Asked Carlisle with a smile… then his smile faltered… he thought Edward might be embarrassed about walking with him. ‘How do you explain a hot young guy walking along with an old wreck… Nephew I suppose… Everyone round here knows I’m not married’

Edward noticed Carlisle’s change in demeanor and guessed why, so he thought he should explain himself.

“I’m not exactly dressed for meeting anyone.” Said Edward pointing to his baggy track pants and sweatshirt.

“Oh…” said Carlisle, his relief evident. Round here no one cares what you look like… But I take your point… we will have to do some clothes shopping for you… No arguments.” Said Carlisle masterfully shutting down Edward’s objections. “And this time of the afternoon all the workers are having dinner. They’re up at dawn so it’s an early night for them.”

They walked through beautiful vineyards, bathed in golden sun. But unfortunately the lush green foliage didn’t set Carlisle’s hair off the same as the golden grass. Edward was both relieved and disappointed.

He wished he could tell Carlisle how beautiful he looked walking through the grass, it was what Carlisle needed to hear, given his self-worth issues; but Edward was still nervous about the whole thing.

They continued their walk, ambling around a few vineyards, Esme sniffing everything she could. She once spotted a rabbit and was off like a rocket after it.

“She won’t hurt it?” asked Edward concerned.

“No… if she ever caught up with it, she’d probably lick it… She hasn’t got many natural instincts… She’s 99% heart and 1% brain I think.” Said Carlisle.

“Ohhhh, that’s cruel.” Said Edward. Esme came running up having lost the rabbit. “Did your nasty daddy say horrible things to you.” Edward said mussing up Esme coat, she loved every minute of it. Carlisle couldn’t help notice the difference in Edward, from the scared kid that flattened himself against a wall to avoid her, to now defending her honor from slights and talking baby to her. ‘Was everything going to work out this well?’

They went home and Edward volunteered to brush Esme. Carlisle acquiesced and got them a beer each to relax on the deck with.

They sat and watched the sun bath the mountains red, then the dark shadows slip up their slopes till just the tips were blazing, almost like snow caped ranges.

When the last of the color had evaporated from the ranges and they were a uniform dark purple, a cold breeze blew across the deck making Edward involuntarily shiver. It was as if the day had ended and now the cold chill of night was coming to caress them. Noting Edwards quivering Carlisle asked “Shall we get dinner on?” Edward nodded.

They went in and Carlisle showed Edward how to make spaghetti carbonara. He also told him of the short cuts, like powdered milk instead of cream to economize.

They sat down to the food and watched the evening news. Edward was quite pleased with his handy work.

Carlisle didn’t say much; he was lost in thought.

“Carlisle what is it…”

“I could take tomorrow off if you like… I mean I feel guilty leaving you in a strange house all alone.”

Edward smiled at this. “I won’t be all alone... there’s Bella who needs some quality time or else she’ll get the huffs with me. And then there’s Esme to play with. Can I take her for a walk while you’re away?”

“Sure... just don’t overdo it… she’s really strong and I don’t want you opening any wounds…”

“I will, I promise.” Edward smiled, he really liked Esme… she was like the dog he wished he had as a kid.

“So how about if we have those sausages tomorrow night for dinner. It’ll be something easy when I get home.”

“That’s great…” said Edward then he cast his eyes down. “I wish I could help with the cooking... it’s not fair you being out all day and having to come home and do everything.”

“You will soon Edward. You show great promise in the kitchen… but just relax. I don’t mind cooking. When you’re ready it will be great to sample your food.” Edward flushed at this.

After dinner Edward went and did his ablutions while Carlisle stacked the dishwasher.

Carlisle came up the end of the hall just as Edward was finishing.

“Feel better?”

“Much.”

“Well, I guess I’ll see you in the morning… I get up at 7 so if you hear anything just ignore me… I’ll say goodbye before I go.”

“OK.”

They stood awkwardly in the hall for a few moments not knowing what to do; but each independently wanting to kiss the other. Their skin was itching for contact, but neither knew if the other were ready for such intimacy again.

After a few more moments of uncomfortable silence Carlisle finally said. “I’ll see you before I go to bed.” And walked into the bathroom and closed the door.

Edward felt like banging his head against the wall, instead he went to talk to Bella.

Carlisle did bang his head against the tile wall of the shower. He so wanted Edward, but he didn’t want to hurry him. But then again he wasn’t sure if he was going too slow and making it seem like he was having second thoughts. ‘had he told Edward he loved him today? No… should he? Or would that just creep Edward out?’ More tile banging.

Meanwhile Edward was holding Bella in his arms stroking her, looking around the room. It was starting to freak him out. The nightmare made sense now… Mrs Cullen was a homophobe… she certainly could be haunting his dreams. He had an urge to run… but not back to Frisco this time… though that was there in the back ground as well… but into Carlisle’s arms. Last night was the best sleep he had had for ages. He felt so safe and secure.

Bella, as if to help Edward make up his mind, struggled to get down, which was uncharacteristic… she could be held all day usually… and on wet days in winter when there was no trade, that’s often what Edward did to pass the time.  Just sit and stoke her and day dream of a better life.

Bella then jumped up on the bed and lay slap bang in the middle of the pillow and started cleaning herself.

“You know you’re going to have to move for me to get in?” said Edward. Bella gave him a ‘god your stupid’ look. “Oh… Oh. Giving me a hint are you?” Said Edward with a smile, he kissed Bella goodnight and then stripped down to his boxers and ran, yes ran into Carlisle’s room.

He mussed up Esme’s fur to say hello which she loved and she moved over to let him in. He snuggled into the bed and waited for Carlisle, an impish grin on his face... He couldn’t wait to see what Carlisle would do.

…

Carlisle got out of the shower and tried not to hurry into Edward’s room to say good night… he so wanted to take Edward in his arms and kiss him good night.  But just seeing him again would make him sleep better.

He knocked and open the door. Bella sat on the pillow her tail flipping wildly. She had an all knowing look on her face that Carlisle wasn’t sure he liked. He scanned the small room. No sign of Edward. The rest of the house was in darkness… ‘Strange?’

Carlisle thought he’d just put his day clothes away in his room and then go look for Edward. Memories of the other morning, of Edward deserting him, came flooding back and they made him sick to his stomach... Did Carlisle say or do something to make him run? But why would he leave Bella? Carlisle was about to start hyperventilating when he walked into his room and saw the most adorable sight he had ever seen. Edward, a big smile spread across his face, snuggled up in his bed with Esme.

Carlisle wanted to cry with joy… but he recovered quickly.

He placed his hands on his hips and in a foe-stern voice said “And what’s all this here?”

“I hope it’s alright… I got lonely in there.” Said Edward sheepishly.

“I think this needs punishment.” Carlisle’s stern face crumpled and a smile spread across his face. Instead of saying anything, he just jumped onto the bed to both Edward and Esme’s surprise. Carlisle then didn’t know what came over him but he succumbed to an urge and straddling Edward began tickling him.... Edward was giggling like a school girl and begging him to stop. Meanwhile Esme joined in the fun jumping up and down on top of both of them.

Finally, the insanity died down. And Carlisle, still straddling Edward looked down deep into Edward’s eyes. Something came over him and he pressed his lips to Edward’s. Edward didn’t resist. The kiss deepened and they began grinding against each other. Hands were gripping everywhere. The passions held in check for all this time exploding like a soda bottle left in the sun.

Carlisle was embarrassed to admit he could cream his boxers just like this. Edward felt exactly the same.

They were about to go for broke when something wet joined them… Esme wanted in on the action and was licking their faces. They broke apart laughing. “Who need’s a chaperone when you have Esme here.” Laughed Carlisle lovingly mussing up the fur on Esme’s head. “I’ll put her in the lounge…” He said, his eyes dark with passion and a filthy grin spreading across his face.

Edward had seen that look before… it was the same as Felix looked before he…

Edward’s breath started to speed up… The image of Felix coming at him kept flashing through his head…

He knew in his guts that Carlisle was different… that he wouldn’t do anything to hurt Edward.  That he wouldn’t do anything Edward didn’t want to do… But he couldn’t get the image of Felix out of his head… He couldn’t seem to get enough air in his lungs… it was like a weight was pressing down on him.

The lust disappeared in Carlisle eyes, replaced with concern. Edward felt terrible… Carlisle had been so kind to him... the least he could do is treat him like a client.

Edward fought to get in control of his breathing. It would be just like a client… don’t think about what your doing… just let him do what he wants. Carlisle deserves that much. He deserves his release.

Edward was about too apologize and say as much when Carlisle spoke.

“Sorry… I just remembered, I’ve got to get an early start in the morning… we better just go to sleep.” Edward looked into his eyes… he knew he didn’t mean a word of it… he was just trying to make Edward feel better. Edward thought ‘If I wasn’t so fucked in the head right now I could kiss him with gratitude’.

Carlisle rubbed Esme’s fur again. “Alright Essey, you win, you can stay. Just don’t think you can hog the bed.” He then patted the bottom of the bed for her to lie down there, then deliberately lay apart from Edward so no part of them was touching… giving him space to collect himself.

“Do you want the light left on?” He asked gently.

“No… you need your sleep.” Said Edward nervously.

“I could probably sleep on a barbed wire fence.” Carlisle lied.

“No… I don’t mind the dark… its fine.” Said Edward willing himself to trust Carlisle and not freak out in the dark.

Carlisle nodded.

“Good night Edward.”

“Goodnight Carlisle.”

Carlisle turned the light off and lay back onto the bed… He waited a few minutes. “Edward.”

“Yes?” Edward asked nervously.

“Thank you for a perfect day.” Even in the dark, Edward could tell Carlisle was smiling, just thinking about it.

Somehow Carlisle could always say the right thing. He wasn’t mad that he didn’t get his rocks off… he was happy, remembering the fun they had.

Edward was sure at that moment he fell a little in love with Carlisle…

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think?  
> There are probably about two more chapters and an epilogue to go of this story… I’ll try and get the next chapter written as fast as I can, without compromising the writing; so you don’t have to wait for long.  
> Happy Valentine’s Day Everyone XXXX


	4. The Longest Day?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carlisle and Edward face their first day apart; will it bring them closer together or will the absence of constant contact make them question what they have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has made this my most read fanfic yet Xxxx
> 
> OK so here is the next chapter. Yet again it’s on the long side but the characters just seem to run away with me :-) Enjoy.

Carlisle woke up with something hard and almost sharp pressing into his thigh… he presumed it was one of Esme’s paws, but then realized he was holding something… someone… then the evening came back to him and he smiled. Till he worked out what the object was… Ed’s wood, morning wood. He at first thanked god... then he got worried about how he should react. He knew that it had nothing to do with himself and if Edward woke up with it he would be so embarrassed. But Carlisle didn’t know what to do, Edward was tangled around him. He must have moved a little in the night, now he was straddling Carlisle’s leg and the large hard object was pressed right into him. Carlisle tried not to react, but the sure knowledge of how good that piece of Edward’s anatomy felt in action had Carlisle hardening painfully. Fortunately, the only thing Carlisle’s erection was pressing against was the seam of his boxers. Which was starting to get more than a little uncomfortable. But he thought he could bare it if it means that Edward got a good sleep.

Edward shifted slightly in his sleep and Carlisle used this as an excuse to shift the seam of his boxers relieving some of the pressure, which wasn’t helped by Edward involuntarily grinding his cock into Carlisle’s thigh as he moved.

‘This was such sweet torture.’ Thought Carlisle.

Edward was starting to stir now and his hand ran down Carlisle’s bare chest through the light dusting of blond hair that covered it. It came to rest on his waist which was far too close to Carlisle’s manhood for comfort. Not that Carlisle was complaining, but the fact he couldn’t do anything about it was excruciating.

Finally, Edward stirred some more and his arm ventured further south coming to rest on top of Carlisle’s tented boxers. Carlisle took an involuntary sharp intake of breath at the sensation. He soon wished he hadn’t because this finally drew Edward from the land of nod.

It took him a few moments to remember where he was and to realize what his arm was resting on. He then shot off Carlisle like a rocket, waking up Esme in the process, who looked daggers at Edward, then lay back down again ignoring him.

Edward noticed his own erection and looked horrified.

“I’m sorry.” Was the best Carlisle could come up with. “I didn’t… I couldn’t help it… Fuck I’m sorry.” He placed his face in his hands to hide his embarrassment and shame.

“I…I…its OK.” Stammered Edward trying to get control of himself and wishing his own erection could disappear.

“I really don’t know what to say.” Said Carlisle.

“It’s OK.” Said Edward with more confidence this time. Now he had got his head round this, he was trying to overcome the urge to touch his erection… it was crying out for attention.  He was also trying to overcome the part of his brain that was wanting him to touch Carlisle’s erection again.

Edward’s eyes somehow couldn’t draw themselves from Carlisle’s still tented boxers. Carlisle followed his gaze and modestly pulled the sheet over his lap.

“Sorry.” He apologized again.

“No… it’s normal... it’s what happens to guys…” stammered Edward trying to get in control of his thoughts.

Carlisle was also finding it hard to keep his eyes off the tent in Edward’s boxers. He was amazed Edward was still hard… he would have thought that with the shock it would have gone down. But then he was amazed the awkwardness of the situation hadn’t killed his own tent problem; he guessed his big fella had other ideas… he just needed to get it to realize that wasn’t on the agenda this morning…. At least not until they were alone in the shower.

They sat in uncomfortable silence for a while. Each peeking at the other’s embarrassment when they thought they weren’t looking.

Finally, Carlisle knew he had to do the gentlemanly thing and even though it was half an hour before he usually got up he looked deliberately at the clock.

“Umm… it’s pretty close to wake up time… I’d better start getting ready.” Said Carlisle who was then off to the shower like a shot to deal with his guy cramp. Edward sat there confused. Half of him relieved the embarrassing situation was over… the other half wishing Carlisle had of stayed and they continued what they started.

Then the memory of his actions last night came back… no wonder Carlisle had left… he must think Edward is completely fucked in the head. A prostitute that’s terrified of sex… that’s like a painter who’s frightened of paint.

He looked down at his hardness. wiling it to disappear, but it just bobbed at him as if to mock him. The thought of going into the shower and seeing Carlisle naked was overwhelming. Of stepping into the shower and helping him take care of himself. His erection bobbed as if in agreement and started leaking pre-cum.

He appreciated he hadn’t cum for a week. Not since Carlisle had dragged the orgasm out of him… He never did with clients and there really wasn’t anywhere private in the shelter other then the bathroom and he didn’t feel like nutting one out there in the short time they got, kids and old ladies had to use that bathroom, inappropriate wasn’t the word, it was a definite mood killer.

He ran his hand down his chest and over his stomach till it reached where he needed... he gave his cock a squeeze, which felt good. He checked that Esme was asleep, having her watching would be wrong on so many levels… and then fished in his pants to relieve himself. If he got the poison out, he might be able to think straight.

He imagined Carlisle only a room away doing the same… He got harder at the thought and picked up the pace of his ministrations, imagining Carlisle’s hand doing it. Edward couldn’t believe he was fantasizing about him.  Only a couple of days ago he thought not very much physically of Carlisle. Now he seemed obsessed by him… He hadn’t thought about an individual guy for years. But then he had far too much sex in his life for it to be a special thing. And when he got home feeling completely soiled it was the last thing on his mind.

Now he couldn’t get his mind off it.

In an embarrassingly short time he was getting close. He remembered Carlisle’s talented lips on his cock. His talented tongue teasing him. The feeling of the power of his suction; of his tight pucker gripping his length, working it, sucking the orgasm from his body… it had been only a week ago but it seemed like both months and just yesterday. Then the thought of Carlisle going down deep, his head hitting the back of his throat then going deeper into the tight moistness pushed Edward over the edge and with a startlingly loud cry he came and came hard covering his hand with his seed.

When he climbed down from his surprisingly strong orgasm he checked he was still alone… he was, with Esme giving him a strange look. He then heard the shower turn off and realized he had to clean up before Carlisle returned.

Utilizing the tissues by the bed he cleaned himself up and climbed under the covers, his manhood thankfully shrinking now it had been satisfied.

Carlisle knocked and came in sheepishly, guessing what Edward might still be up to. He looked flushed and not just from the shower… Edward wondered if he did too, but since Carlisle hardly was game to look at him it didn’t really matter.

“You sure you will be alright on your own today?” asked Carlisle as he got dressed.

“Sure...” said Edward, he wanted to stop Carlisle from worrying so he spoke confidently, but when he saw the pained look in Carlisle eyes he understood Carlisle thought he was glad for him to be gone.

“Yeah… you probably need some alone time.” He said.

Edward had never been the best communicator… but he was determined not to let Carlisle leave thinking that.

“Hey.” He said firmly and Carlisle stopped his dressing and looked at him. “I didn’t mean it like that… I really like you around… and what happened this morning was fine… I wish I hadn’t over reacted so much…”

Carlisle smiled at this. “Edward… you have been through a trauma… it’s normal…” He hesitated then said something that had been on his mind for a while. “Did you speak to anyone about it… I mean at the medical center. About how you feel.”

“What you mean like a shrink?”

“Yes.”

“Yeah… I talked to one guy… he was OK… but they have so much work to do I didn’t like to take up his time… the waiting room was full of people… He said it would just take time and for me to try and live as normally as I could.”

Carlisle scoffed at this. “He knew what you did for a living didn’t he.” Edward lowered his head… you had to put your profession down on the form… he couldn’t bring himself to doing it so he just put ‘unemployed student’. The medic’s that fixed him up knew, but he didn’t need anyone else eyeing him suspiciously, either thinking him dirt or thinking they might try him out, or both…

“Edward… would you like to talk to someone… do you think it would help?”

“I don’t know… and the waiting list is like for ever.”

“No… I’ll pay for you to see my shrink… or we could get another if you want to make sure there is no conflict…”

“No.” said Edward… Carlisle was spending too much on him. With his work ended he had no way of contributing.

“Edward… I want you to feel alright again… what happened to you just wasn’t an accident… it was awful… you can’t just muddle through something like that… Now I don’t care how long it takes. And I understand if you never can be intimate with someone… But I want you to have the best chance at happiness.”

“Look… how about we talk about it tonight?” asked Edward, Carlisle nodded and secretly made-up his mind to make an appointment for Edward for later in the week. He could cancel if Edward refused.

Carlisle finished dressing and then went to leave.

“I’ll be back around 6. Feel free to do anything you like.  I’ll call you at mid-day to see how you’re going. My mobile and office number are by the phone so call if you need anything.” Carlisle hovered for a few moments. He so wanted to kiss Edward good bye but he knew that was out of the question. He blew a kiss to Edward instead.  Edward picked up Carlisle’s feelings.

Carlisle was about to walk out the door when Edward interrupted. “Hey… is that all I get.” Said Edward kneeling on the end of the Bed. Carlisle walked over and gave him a kiss on the check. Edward cupped Carlisle’s cheeks and directed his lips to his. They kissed gently for a few moments before breaking. Carlisle’s breath had picked up considerably and Edward enjoyed how he made Carlisle feel.

“I can’t wait till 6.” Said Edward.

“Me Either.” Said Carlisle peeking him on the lips again then ruffling Esme’s fur and walking out.

….

Edward got up and did his ablutions. He then went to the kitchen, Esme in hot pursuit. He gave her some kibble for breakfast and then went over to the cupboard where the human breakfast was kept. It was jammed full of every kind of cereal you could imagine. When they were shopping Carlisle had gone mad buying any brand that caught Edward’s eye. Edward smiled and shook his head at the memory.

He poured himself some corn flakes and added some milk over them. The fresh full-cream milk tasted so much better than the long life stuff he was used to at the bed sit. He couldn’t help having a second bowl and relishing the divine creaminess. He even poured himself a glass… this was becoming an addiction.

As he sat there relishing the taste explosion in his mouth he gazed out the window to Carlisle’s beautiful garden and the mountains beyond. He began thinking about what he could do to make Carlisle happy… to repay him for his kindness…

He knew of one thing… but he wasn’t game to go that far yet. He thought if he kept freaking out Carlisle might soon get tired of him… I mean how long can one guy’s patients last?

Maybe he could help with house work? He made a mental note of everything that would need to be done. Dishes, Washing, Vacuuming, Grass cutting, Weeding.

When he was done he rinsed his bowl and noting the dishwasher hadn’t been unpacked set to work happily putting crockery away. He turned the radio on and listened to it absent mindedly. Thinking that Carlisle was listening to the same thing as he drove. The thought made him feel closer to him. He couldn’t believe that he had only been gone for less than half an hour and he already missed him…

What was with him?  Was Carlisle really the one? The man of his dreams? Sure he didn’t look like the man of his fantasies. He wasn’t tall, young and buff, Inked to show he was an animal in bed... But then what of it? Carlisle was kind and gentle and protective. He put up with what no one else would. And the more he was with him the more handsome he seemed to become. The image of Carlisle striding through the golden grass swam through his vision stirring his groin. Fuck he had beaten off not only an hour ago and he was already horny again… Horny for Carlisle though. 

Once the dishes were away he put his dirty breakfast stuff in the dishwasher then went to see what else useful he could do.

He took one look at the washing machine; whose control panel looked like something from NASA control; so different from the machines at the laundromat. An image of the laundry full of sudsy water gushing out into the hall and the repair bill with a lot of zeros at the end ran through his head. No Carlisle wouldn’t thank him for that. So he decided to skip it. He would ask Carlisle tonight to show him how to use the machine.

He then was brought back to earth by Esme bumping deliberately into his leg. He looked down at her.

“What girl?”

The dog looked at him hopefully.

“You want to go outside?” with this Esme ran around in circles; Edward smiled. He went and got her lead and clipped it on. He’d take her for a walk, then think about what else he could do.

As they got out the door, Esme was off… Edward’s feet hardly touched the ground as he was dragged along. He had no idea how strong Carlisle must be to rain her in. He imagined how Carlisle could use that strength. Pinning him to the bed and making sweet sweet love to him. Just vigorous enough to make him scream for all the right reasons. Another jerk from Esme returned Edward to reality. She dragged him out onto the fortunately quite road and was off down it. Edward realised that he needed to get in control or else disaster might happen. Carlisle had warned him that Esme had no road sense… thinking the world revolved around her.

“Esme wait.” Edward yelled. Esme paid no attention.

“Stop” he tried. No luck.

“Heal. Stay. Sit.” He tried again, still to no use. He saw a truck turn onto their street and images of carnage flashed through his mind.

“ESME COME HERE!!!” he yelled at the top of his lungs and gave her lead and almighty tug. Esme came to a halt and then followed Edward off the road, eventually standing in front of Edward with a look of ‘you didn’t have to shout’ about her. Edward caught his breath as the truck rumbled past. He then crouched down to talk to Esme.

“Look girl... I know you don’t understand what I’m saying, but could you go easy on me… I’m not as strong as your old man.” Esme licked Edwards face from chin the eyebrow in one rapid movement and Edward couldn’t help laughing. He fell over backwards trying to stop her repeat it; a sharp pain coming when his rear hit the hard ground and Esme was soon all over him thinking it was a game.

Edward finally got Esme to settle down and he picked himself up. He looked to see if anyone was around then gingerly prodded his ass… no pain. Thank god.

“OK Essie… I’m kind of hurt so can you go easy on me?” Edward said wiping his face, he knew she had no idea what he was saying.

She pulled to go and Edward pulled back. He then started walking but every time Esme pulled he’d pull back. She soon got the message than this was going to be a slower walk and she decided to make use of the time by sniffing just about every blade of grass there was. Edward found it boring but better than being dragged along on his ass.

Esme took Edward up the lane they walked the first time on Saturday. Edward remembering it fondly. It seemed so long ago. He definitely would have to get Carlisle to bring him here again.

He walked over and talked to the horses that were still in the field. Esme sniffing their muzzles. Edward pulled some grass for them. The shy one came over closer this time and Edward managed to feed it and touch its muzzle briefly. He couldn’t help checking out their undercarriage and he noticed neither sported a fifth leg today which he was glad off… that was just way to creepy. In fact, the shy one seemed very poorly endowed indeed. There was nothing… ‘I wonder if it’s a girl? I’ll have to ask Carlisle… how he knows all this shit I don’t know. But I’ll ask him.’

Esme was getting frisky and when she pulled, Edward dropped her lead and she went bounding off down the fence line with the horses in hot pursuit. Edward sauntered along after them.

He came to the hill where he and Carlisle first properly kissed. It looked different in the morning sun. It was milky and fresh, not golden and heady. But it was still beautiful.

Esme came running back finally and this was the cue to head home.  Esme of course would have been happy to go on longer, but Edward didn’t know the path, so he thought it best to call it a day.

….

When they got back Edward was exhausted. He carefully closed the gates so Esme couldn’t escape, then went in to wash his hands and face.  He then got some dry cat food and went to talk to his girlfriend.

He put the kibble in Bella’s bowl and watched as she ate with gusto.

 “Hey Baby, sorry I have been missing in action.” Edward said. Bella just showed him her rear end.

“Oh… it’s like that is it?  Got the huffs… Well I’m sorry. It’s just that so many things have been happening… No that’s a lie... I like Carlisle. And I want to spend time with him. I just wish I wouldn’t freak out every time we get intimate.” Edward flopped down on the floor cross legged next to Bella. Who left her food and came over and sat in his lap.

“You forgive me do you… I’m glad. I hope Carlisle will. I acted like a complete dick last night, and this morning was even worse… I guess I’m a little fucked in the head. What should I do… You always seem to have the right answers?”

Bella Rolled on her back to get her tummy tickled.

“What… be a complete strumpet.” Edward joked tickling her tummy. She grabbed his hand and started mock biting it and scratching it with her back legs.

“Sorry… OK you’re not a strumpet” said Edward continuing to tickle her tummy even though she was digging into his hand with her claws… they often played rough house with each other.

Edward finally withdrew his hand and let Bella calm down, then just stroked her. She soon got up and went over to eat some more.

“I wish you could speak English… it would make things simpler.”

After a few mouthfuls she came back and did one of her favorite party tricks of somersaulting head over heels onto her back in front of Edward.

“oh, you’re saying I should get blind drunk…” Edward laughed. “Might work.”

….

After his heart to heat he sat on the back deck with a can of coke as Esme sat in her cane chair pooped after her walk.

He surveyed the garden. He could try and do the lawns, but he didn’t know which of the ground covers could be mowed. He also wasn’t game to try weeding. His knowledge of plants was so limited that he might end up having to put most of the stuff back that he pulled out… No he’d wait to be guided by Carlisle on this. He wanted Carlisle to come home to perfect order. To know Edward not only could look after himself, but could look after his house for him. Not a scene of complete destruction.

Edward wondered when he became a house-husband type… he never thought that way before in his life. He guessed he just wanted Carlisle to feel happy.

When he finished his coke he went and found the vacuum cleaner and since it looked fairly strait forward, got stuck into vacuuming the house from top to bottom.

When he got up to the end of the house that held the bedrooms he opened the door of what he thought was a spare bedroom… But It wasn’t it must have been Carlisle’s office. There was a large wooden desk with a dormant desk top computer on it and a high back leather office chair. Along one wall there was a row of filing cabinets. And all around the room instead of paintings there were campaign posters. Edward recognzsed most of the faces; both Bill and Hilary Clinton, Obama, Gore, Kerry, Gray Davis, Jerry Brown… And then there were two posters of Carlisle; one a much younger man in his early twenties, another a very good photo of his much larger self. The book cases were lined with political biographies and political text books.

The air seemed different in here, charged somehow, like a different world. Edward wasn’t sure if he was even wanted in this room… he knew it was silly, Carlisle had said nothing about not going into any room, and the door had a lock on it… He would have to talk too Carlisle about this side of himself… why he was keeping it from Edward…

He closed the door without entering further in and continued to vacuum the bedrooms… teasing Bella with the unfamiliar contrivance… He wondered how she would get her revenge on him which she always did.

Done he felt better. He looked at how to empty the contraption, but his confidence with new technology belonging to other people was pretty low, so he thought ‘leave that till supervised’. He put it away and surveyed his handy work. Not a dog hair in sight.

He thought he deserved lunch after this… What a treat. Three meals in one day. And he could choose what to eat.

As he walked into the kitchen the phone rang and Edward nearly jumped out of his skin. He didn’t know whether to answer it, so he just let it go to the answering machine. After Carlisle’s customary greeting it beeped and Carlisle’s voice came over the speaker.

“Hi Edward… I hope your enjoying your day. Remember to help yourself to anything you want to eat or drink…” there was a pause. “I… I’m missing you… See you tonight. Bye.” And the phone hung up. Edward wished he had of got the call.

He Looked on the touchphone and the word ‘Carlisle’ was written against a number… He wondered if this was Carlisle’s mobile… There was ‘Work (State)’, ‘Work (Fed)’ and ‘Work (County)’ also there against numbers, so Edward guessed it must be.

With trepidation he picked up the handset… paused a moment to collect himself. He didn’t know why he was nervous. it was phoning Carlisle after all… then it dawned on him, he hadn’t used a phone in 5 years… maybe that was it.

He pressed the button and waited as the call was made, the sound of the auto dial came over the phone. It rang twice and suddenly Carlisle’s voice came over louder than expected. “Hey Edward.” It sounded enthusiastic. Edward paused wondering what to say. “Edward is everything OK? Are you alright...” Worry had started to cloud Carlisle’s voice.

“Yeah… I’m fine… Sorry I missed your call.” Said Edward trying to put Carlisle out of his misery.

“No worries. How’s your day been?”

Edward wanted to save telling Carlisle about the vacuuming as a surprise for this evening. “It’s been great. Just relaxing. I took Miss Esme for a walk which was fun.”

“She wasn’t too rough with you?”

“We worked it out… she’s a smart dog.”

“She’s too smart for her own good most of the time, but I’m glad it worked out. What have you got planned for the rest of the day?”

“I thought have some lunch, then… I don’t know.”

“Good… sounds relaxing. Eat anything you want, and I showed you how to get Netflix so you can watch anything you feel like.”

“Sure…” Edward didn’t really feel like watching anything. The day was too nice to be indoors. He wanted to be outside now he could be away from smog and crowds and pimps and clients.

There was a pause in the conversation.

“I miss you.” Said Carlisle quietly.

“I miss you too… but think… it’ll only be.” Edward looked at the clock in the kitchen. “Five hours till you’re home.”

“Yeah… seems like a lifetime though.”

Edward flushed at this. “How’s your day been?” He said changing the subject.

“Same as usual. Pretty boring. I’ll tell you the highlights tonight, if I come across any…”

“Can’t wait.”

“Well, I better be going… I love you.”

Edward wanted to respond but somehow it caught in his throat. There was a long pause, then the phone went dead. Edward banged his head on the wall by the phone… when was he going to get his shit together.

To make himself feel better he decided to focus on lunch… He looked in the fridge that was groaning with ingredients. He didn’t know how Carlisle thought he would eat all this before it went bad. He’d soon start looking like the Goodyear blimp. He’d have to talk to Carlisle about diet. He knew he was underweight but he didn’t want to go to the other extreme.

He really had no taste for fancy food and so he just made himself a cheese sandwich. He cut thick slices of the cheese, which was a novelty compared to the plastic wrapped stuff he usually could afford… it was so creamy and sharp; and the bread soft and fresh… and REAL creamery butter, not margarine.... He hadn’t tasted a sandwich this good before. It was like the cheese sandwiches he had eaten before were made of plastic or soap compared to this. He relished every bite.

He made himself another, just because he could and took a dog treat out onto the deck for Esme. As she lay chewing in her chair, Edward sat at the outdoor setting relishing his sandwich. And the view.

How could he thank Carlisle for this? Maybe grow a pair and tell him how he felt? Say the ‘L’ word? But did he feel it, really? If he said it without really, truly meaning it, wouldn’t he be the same as all those other jerks who lead people on with big talk only to disappoint them in the end?

He shook his head to clear his mind, but it just re-directed it to a more unpleasant area…

Usually this time on a Monday he would be bent over while a certain fat sweaty executive with a thankfully small dick was banging him roughly in the back seat of his car, in that accursed alley way… Edward deliberately cleared his mind of all thoughts and focused on the scenery instead.

What a difference… Edward stretched out. He could even do with a siesta on the day bed that Esme fortunately seemed to ignore. If fact that’s what he’d do.

He finished his sandwich and second can of coke and then stretched out... Before he drifted off to slumber bay he felt a large hairy object nuzzling him.

“OK girl, get up.” He said and Esme jumped on top of Edward and pushed him out of her way so she could lie down. “Thanks for that.” He joked. Once Esme was settled; Edward, now with considerably less room to stretch out, relaxed… listening to the birds twittering in the garden. The insects buzzing in the heat of the day. The frogs in the nearby pond croaking. This was indeed paradise…

….

Edward woke with a hot wet object on the side of his face. Esme had fallen asleep and her tongue had rolled out of her mouth and was resting on the side of his face. Edward wiped the drool of his face. “Thanks… love you too.” Said Edward heading off to the shower as fast as he could.

As Edward showered he thought about tonight. Of Carlisle coming home in only a few short hours... He then thought how unfair it was for him to have to cook dinner when he was beat… A thought came to Edward... He had cooked for himself, he could cook for Carlisle. He’d make dinner.

An image of a smoke filled kitchen and blackened pans washed over him, but he shook it off. This was no time to be chicken shit. If a dumb ass like Jamie Oliver could cook, he could. He just needed to pick something easy and stick to the recipe religiously and watch it like a bird hawk.

Recipe… what to cook?

Edward turned the shower off, dried quickly, got dressed and ran, yes, ran down the hall.

Cook books. Where would they be? Library?

He looked, no such luck. ‘Of course dumb ass, kitchen... there was a row of books in the kitchen.’

He went to the glass cupboards on the far wall of the kitchen. Two whole rows of books sat there. Some pristine, others battered and stained with a few scorch marks.

Edward decided he better not cook one of Carlisle favorites. It would be nowhere near as good as he was used to. He would try something new. But what? What food did he like? Everything they had had up till now was home style, so he’d go with that.

He found a nearly new book called ‘Yankee Homestyle cooking’. He then looked in the fridge for what they had. He thought he better not try the more expensive cuts, Carlisle probably had something planed for them. Chicken breasts… they were a good all-rounder.

He got a beer from the fridge because he though he needed a little Dutch courage and sat looking for a suitable recipe.

He selected one that wasn’t a million miles away from what he used to cook at the bed sit. A chicken stew. He knew it wasn’t inventive but he wanted the first meal he cooked for Carlisle to go well. He had a vision of Carlisle face contorted in displeasure as he ate and tried to put a brave face on it. No. Simple and tried and tested was the best solution. Better boring then disgusting.

He read and re read the recipe till he knew it by heart. Not game to have the book anywhere near where he was cooking lest it get damaged.

Though he kept it open on the opposite counter and his lack of confidence saw him running back and forwards across the kitchen to consult it every step of the way.

He was glad Esme was outside, lest he be tripped up by her playfulness. But he kept an eagle eye out the window for her as well; every time she shifted in the seat or got up to get some water he’d check... He knew the gates were shut and she couldn’t run away, but he was still nervous being the man in charge of the house… it had been years since anyone trusted him to do that… and that was his parents, and they had no alternative, and also got the neighbors to snoop on him… which cramped Jake and his frolicking no end... He shook the unpleasant memory out of his head and concentrated on what he was doing.

He chopped the bacon, chicken and vegetables like they said and put them aside like they do in the cooking shows he watched when he was in the free clinics waiting room. He then fried the bacon pieces to extract the fat, then removed them with a slotted spoon. Then fried the diced chicken, removing it too when browned. Next adding the vegetables and frying them. Then returned all the other ingredients with a crushed clove of garlic to the pot and added a quart of chicken stock. He saw Carlisle had some home-made chicken stock in the fridge but he wasn’t game to touch that in case it was for something special, so he used a packet off the shelf. He then added seasoning and forgetting the herbs raced out into the garden to get some.

He then forgot what they looked like so had to run back into the house; Esme watching his movements with a bemused look on her face. Never moving her head which rested on the arm of the cane chair, just her expressive eyes.

Edward nearly had a fit when the pictures of the herbs in the cook book were not clear enough for him to tell which herb was which. ‘Thyme looked different from the others sure but what did oregano look like? And Sage?’

He went to the library and found a book on gardening. He looked up the index for herbs and finally got a good picture of each. He half wanted to take the book with him to make sure but didn’t want to damage it in the garden. ‘OK Edward… now you really are getting OCD about this.’ He said to himself. ‘Just go out and grab a bunch of everything. The herb garden is huge, a sprig of each won’t be missed. Bring them back and check.’

He ran to the kitchen to stir the stew, not wanting it to catch, then piss-bolted to the garden… terrified of ruining dinner with the absence of key ingredients.

He got his herbs. Returned, checked them against the pictures in the book; careful not to get any dirt on it, then ran back to the kitchen and chopped them and put them in. Gave the pot another stir and put the lid on.

He then collapsed onto a stool at the breakfast counter to finish his now warm beer…

Never wasteful he downed the remaining contents in a few chugs, then looked at the empty bottle. One more shouldn’t hurt… Carlisle was an hour away… and a few drinks might relax him… make him more susceptible to being amorous.

Hell he’d get blind drunk if he thought it would stop him freaking out every time Carlisle’s cock got within a bull’s roar of him. Maybe Bella was right after all…

….

Carlisle drove home, a silly smile plastered on his face. The same silly smile that had been there all day and everyone had commented on. Gone was serious workaholic Carlisle, in was silly, fun-loving Carlisle, cracking jokes with everyone. His boss even asked jokingly over morning tea if he was in love, which made him nearly choke on his coffee.

He now was even happier. For the first time in years he was coming home not to an empty house but to a house with someone to care for in it. Not since his mother died had he had this. And this was so much better… he felt a little guilty for thinking that... after all his mother certainly wouldn’t have approved. But he loved Edward so much… how can that be wrong?

He had read the gospels back to back and found nowhere that Jesus said anything about homosexuality. If Carlisle was going to hell it would be for not giving his assets away to the poor or something like that, not for fulfilling the second commandment; of loving your fellow man… of that he was sure.

He hoped Edward had had a good day… not too boring. Stuck out in the sticks after all the excitement of Frisco would take some getting used to… What if he hated it? What if he was bored shitless and wanted out?

What if he fell for the neighbor’s yard guy and ran off?

‘Fuck Carlisle get a grip… none of that you can control… just enjoy him while you can. Build up a vault of memories to keep you warm in your old age in case he’s not there.’

He pulled into the drive and noted the gates were shut… Esme must be out.  As if to answer the question she came bounding over after hearing the car engine…. She could always tell car engines apart for some reason. Ruffing up her fur and talking dog to her Carlisle thought ‘I hope she hasn’t been too much bother for Edward… What if she was too rough? … what if he hurt himself? … He could be in there bleeding and too embarrassed to call the ambulance… Fuck!’ Carlisle forgot the car, the gate and Esme and ran up to the back deck. Esme in hot on his heels.

When he got near the back door his nose was assailed by a delightful smell. A smell alien to his return home. Cooking. WTF? Edward had cooked him dinner? Prince among men he is… Carlisle then checked his gate… ‘If he was cooking then he scarcely was in a pool of blood on the bathroom floor… get a grip. And put a smile on, that’s the first thing Edward deserves to see.’

Carlisle walked as casually as he could into the kitchen. The aromas were mouth-watering. But the sight that greeted him was even better... Edward getting off a stool and coming over to greet him.

Edward looked a little nervous. Carlisle guessed why and was determined to put his mind at ease.

“Something smells GREAT!” he said enthusiastically.

“It’s just chicken stew… hope that’s alright.” Said Edward shyly stopping just short of Carlisle.

“It sound like heaven.” Carlisle couldn’t help it and grabbed Edward in a bear hug. Before he could check himself Edward was holding him tightly too and Carlisle sank into his embrace. They stood there for what seemed like hours just holding each other, reconnecting after their time apart. Final Esme decided she was fed up with it and forced her way between them to both of their laughter.

“Beer?” asked Edward.

“Please.” Said Carlisle gratefully.

“I’m afraid I’ve had a couple.”

“I’m glad… Edward I told you to make yourself at home. Shall we sit outside?”

“The diners been on for an hour, will it be right?”

“Sure, just turn it down to the lowest setting and let it simmer… the longer it cooks like that the better it will taste.” Said Carlisle, Edward ran over and adjusted the heat setting then came running excitedly back. Carlisle thought he looked like a kid who had just done a school project successfully. It was so adorable.

“What?” asked Edward when he realized Carlisle was staring at him.

“Nothing… your just so wonderful... that’s all.” Said Carlisle with a smile. Edward flushed and went outside to hide his embarrassment. Carlisle thought everything Edward did got cuter by the minuet.

They went out and sat down together on the day bed. Carlisle noticed the increased intimacy Edward was allowing… he hoped the day had gone smoothly for him and this was just a sign that he missed him and not that he was traumatized.

“You didn’t have to cook.” Carlisle ventured.

“I wanted to.”

“Well as long as you wanted to… “

“Yeah, I also did the vacuuming…” said Edward proudly.

“You didn’t have to do that; you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to... you know that… you’re my special guest.”

“But I don’t want to be just a guest… I want to be much more than that...” Edward said before his brain could stop the words coming out. He guesses those two beers had loosened his tongue.

Carlisle beamed. But noticed the internal war within Edward.

“You have no idea how long I have wanted you to say that…” He said quietly.

“I… I… It’s OK?” Edward hesitated.

“Of course. Edward, I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to grow old together. I just haven’t said it because I didn’t want to scare you off.” It was Edwards turn to beam.

“So no more guest stuff…” was the best that Edward’s over excited mind could come up with.

“No… But just because your family now doesn’t mean you’re a slave to this house… You need to take time to recover.”

“I’m not an invalid.”

“Not just the physical injuries… You’ve done it really tough… I want you to have fun here. Do what you want.”

“But I want to contribute.”

“You do… this is contributing… you have no idea how long I have wanted this… just to be able to sit with the man I love and talk and relax… you have saved my life.”

Edward flushed… he had no idea that the feeling was mutual. He didn’t know what to say… So they just sat there in silence enjoying the evening.

“Edward… have you thought more about what I said this morning about talking to someone about what happened to you?”

“Yeah… I have… I think it’s a good idea… I can’t seem to deal with this on my own.”

“Firstly Edward… you’re never on your own… I’m here. If you ever need me just call and I’ll come here no matter what.” Edward nodded at this. “But I’m not qualified in these mater… I don’t know if what I’m saying is doing more harm than good.”

“You could never do me harm Carlisle.” Said Edward in a no-nonsense voice… this was not for debate. Carlisle nodded.

“I phoned and made an appointment for you for tomorrow with my shrink.” Said Carlisle making it sound casual and that he hadn’t had to cajole and threaten to get it...

“That soon.”

“We can cancel it and put it off if you need more time… there no problem… I just thought I should take the initiative… sorry if I overstepped.”

“No… the sooner the better… Carlisle… I have feelings for you… but I can’t seem to get them out. And every time I act on them… I freak out… I don’t want to stay like this… I want… I want…” Edward was struggling to try and find the words, Carlisle put him out of his misery by placing his lips gently against Edward’s, silencing them. Every thought disappeared from Edward’s mind that instant replaced by a warm feeling that was completely alien to him. He never wanted Carlisle to stop.  But stop he did. trapping Edwards green eyes with his blue.

“I know.” He said, then without deviating his eyes, returned his lips gently to Edwards.

They remained locked together like this still chastely for what seemed like forever, till the necessity to breath interrupted and they reluctantly broke apart.

“Does Esme need another walk?” Edward asked breathlessly trying to change the subject before he succumbed to his primal urges and jumped Carlisle right there on the deck and the dinner would be ruined.

At the word ‘walk’ Esme was at their side bouncing up and down. “Too late to say no now.” Joked Carlisle. He went and got her lead. “Umm, the stew might need some more liquid if we are going to be gone a half hour… I didn’t want to tamper with your masterpiece.” He said.

Edward flushed. “Scarcely… but thanks for the pointer.” He got up and ran inside added some more chicken stock and returned.

They headed off out the gate; noticing the car still parked in the drive with the door open and the engine running. Carlisle flushed with embarrassment.

“Care to elaborate?” asked Edward with growing suspicion, couldn’t Carlisle trust him alone in his house for a day?

“What can I say… I was in a hurry to see you.” Joked Carlisle. Edward looked suspiciously at this.

Carlisle could tell various scenarios were whirring through Edward’s head… their mental processes were so similar they could be twins. “Edward, I will tell you what I didn’t think… I wasn’t worried you would burn the house down or break anything. I trust you implicitly…” Edward still didn’t look happy. “Alright… When I saw Esme out I thought she might have hurt you… I had a silly image of you too embraced to call the ambulance bleeding to death on the bathroom floor… I’m sorry my mind just runs away from me some times.”

Edward chuckled at this idea, but was silenced by the worry in Carlisle’s eyes… he was serious. Edward extended his hand and cupped Carlisle cheek. “Thank you…”

Carlisle looked puzzled at this.

“For caring.”

Carlisle tried to swallow the lump that had grown in his throat. Edward was developing a matching one. Carlisle broke the tension by turning off the car and locking it. “I’ll put it away when we get back… Esme will kill us if we delay her walk any longer.” Carlisle went to head towards the vineyards, but Edward grabbed his arm and dragged him in the direction of the paddock road. Carlisle smiled at this… it was a great sign.

“Wait a minute.” Said Edward then dropping Carlisle’s arm and running inside. Carlisle looked puzzled till Edward came back with a handful of celery and carrot tops. “Will these be ok for the horses?” asked Edward extending his hands shyly.

“They’ll love them.” Said Carlisle, falling even more in love with the man-boy who wants to feed horses. Edward was too cute for words.

They headed off and when they got to the horses Carlisle held back with Esme, letting Edward do his thing. He giggled as the horse ate from his hands saying they were tickling him. Carlisle then got an idea and standing on Esme’s lead, pulled his phone from his pocket and took a photo of Edward feeding the horses. He remembers then that he had no photos of Edward at all. He planned to correct this immediately... Snapping away.

When Edward was finished he petted the horses, who nuzzled him wanting more treats, even the skittish one was getting to know him.

“Would you like to ride one someday?” asked Carlisle.

“Could I?” asked Edward like a kid offered an ice-cream.

“Of course… I know some people who do horse riding lessons… they’ll teach you how to…” Edward beamed at this. “As soon as your butt has healed I’ll organize it…” Edward ran over and grabbed Carlisle hugging him.

“That would be great.” He said enthusiastically.

Carlisle let Esme run off to play chasing with the horses and the two of them sauntered along. Carlisle showed Edward his photo of feeding the horses and Edward was wrapped. “We’ll print it up and start a photo album… I wish I had of thought to have taken more over the past few days.”

“You can make up for it over the next couple of years.” Said Edward snuggling into Carlisle as a cold wind - the first signs of the approaching winter - rustled the long grass. The sun was setting and bathing the hillside golden just like it had done that first afternoon.

“How do you take a photo with that?” asked Edward. Carlisle showed him. “Can I take one of you?” asked Edward.

“Sure, just be sure not to let me crack the lens.” Carlisle half joked. Edward punched him slightly harder than necessary in the arm. He was going to have to talk to Carlisle about his self-image issues, see if he had told his shrink… but now wasn’t the time.

Edward waited till Carlisle had walked up to the top of the hillock and was hit by the sun, just then a breeze ruffled the grass and Carlisle’s hair and Edward snapped away. He looked at his handy work pleased. It wasn’t as good as his dreams, and certainly not as good as the real thing standing in front of him, but it worked… it showed Carlisle how Edward saw him. Strong, bold, determined; but caring, soft and gentle. A hint of vulnerability in the corner of the dynamically blazing blue eyes.

He walked up to Carlisle to show him and Carlisle was speechless. He had never seen himself like this… It was how he always hoped to look when he lost the weight. Up till now it was always just photos of him in a suit at a function or some other thing. He must admit he actually looked quite handsome which more than a little surprised him...

“This is how I see you… this is what I see at night when I dream of you.” Edward ducked his head embarrassed by his confession.

Realization sparked through Carlisle. He had indeed been blind… he had missed the little tell-tale signs that frightened Edward was actually falling for him. And he was so, so, so happy now at the revelation.

He took Edward in his arms and held him tight. This was perfect.

….

When they got home they ate happily.

Carlisle thought it delicious. And said so to Edward’s reddening countenance. Carlisle chose to avoid the evening news preferring to talk to Edward. They talked about small things. What happened at work that day, and so forth…

“Edward, tomorrow how about you come into town with me. You can go clothes shopping with the credit card and buy what you want.  Then the shrink appointment isn’t till two, so how about you come by the office for lunch. I can introduce you to my friends.”

This was information overload for Edward… he was going to object about Carlisle spending any more money on him, but then the thought of meeting his friends blew that away. “Meet you friends?” He asked apprehensively.

“Yes… I’d like to introduce you as my… partner.” Said Carlisle diffident over the choice of words.

“Why would you want to introduce me as that…”

“I’m sorry... I’m moving too fast…” Carlisle retreated.

“No… it’s not that, but they are important people… I’m…” Carlisle interrupted Edward before he could finish.

“Perfect… Perfect for me. And they are my friends and will be happy that I have met someone as special as you. They will be as pleased to know you as I am.  Edward... you are not just a hooker. You are a smart, caring, kind, wonderful young man. Who anyone would be proud to have as a friend.” Carlisle was not debating this point. Edward face heated, he was sure even his ears would be red so rare was such a string of compliments.

“You really want to tell them I’m your…”

“Yes… they will be amazed that I picked up such a great catch.” Said Carlisle seriously. Edward scanned his eyes to see if he were joking and was surprised to see only sincerity there.

“You really think that of me.”

“Yes.” Said Carlisle solemnly.

Edward took a moment to process this. Half of him was doing cartwheels that someone as great as Carlisle found him special, the other half was terrified.

“But... But… But what do we say I do?” asked Edward.

“Do?”

“Yea, they’re bound to ask.”

“They aren’t nosy people.”

“It’s not nosiness, it’s just a polite inquiry… what can I say?” Said Edward panicking.

“Say you’re a student.”

“Studying what… I’m 23… I should be finishing whatever course I was doing or be onto post grad by now… what if they ask questions…” Edward started wringing his hands, he knew in his heart this wouldn’t work, that his past would for ever destroy his chance of happiness with a decent, genuine guy. No it would always be other hookers for him, because that’s what he would always be.

“Look…” Said Carlisle seeing Edward was getting himself into a stew…  “Just tell them you work in the welfare sector… homeless services. You worked in Frisco, but since you have moved in with me you are looking at starting up somewhere nearer, maybe go back to college. Taking some time off to see where you’re going in life because you never got to have a gap year…”

“I had a 5-year gap year.” Edward said ashamed.

“Not exactly a holiday was it thought… Look… if you’re not comfortable with meeting them yet that’s fine… I just wanted to show them why I was so happy… apparently I went around the office with a silly grin on my face all day and they have been asking why.”

“Really?”

“Yeah… but we only will do what you are comfortable with… I won’t enjoy it if you are petrified, so how about we put it off for a couple of weeks?” Carlisle questioned.

Edward looked at Carlisle… there was disappointment there, but concern was his dominant facial expression. Edward really did wish he could meet his friends, pretend that their relationship was usual. That he had a normal life…

“I would like to… just I’m a really bad liar. They’d see through me.”

“I don’t know about that, what about when your clients asked if it was the best sex you ever had? What do you tell them then… that you hated it?”

“My clients never asked me that… they didn’t care if I enjoyed it… they just dump their load and want me gone.” Said Edward trying to hide the bitterness that was creeping into his voice.

“Fuck… I’m sorry. Me and my big mouth… making you relive that shitty life.” Pain was etched on Carlisle’s face, it erased Edward’s bitterness.

“You were the first to want me to enjoy it…” He said reaching for Carlisle’s hand.

Carlisle blushed and averted his eyes but allowed his hand to be captured by Edward, the way his heart had been. His shyness warming Edward’s heart.

“I don’t have anything to wear.” Said Edward letting Carlisle know that if meeting his friends would make him happy then he’d do it…

Carlisle beamed… “I thought of that and got this in my lunch break.” Said Carlisle pulling a bag from under the table and handing it to Edward. Edward fished a pair of slacks, a smart white shirt and a pair of black pumps from it.

“I had to guess the size… a couple bigger then what you were wearing when I met you. And fortunately you have the figure of a fashion model so off the rack should fit you.”

“You shouldn’t have…” said Edward half-heartedly. Other than occasional charity from the missions he hadn’t been given clothes for 5 years. “Can I try them on?”

“Sure… if you don’t like them they said you can change them tomorrow.” Said Carlisle.

“Not like them.” Edward chuckled as he ran off to his bedroom. He had to show Bell’s this.

After longer than expected he returned. A different person walked in the room. The clothes fitted perfectly, but also his hair was brushed and he seemed to stand taller. Carlisle took his phone out and took a snap. Then showing it to Edward who didn’t recognize himself.

“See what an incredible hottie I have living with me… A regular Burberry model.” Edward flushed at this, though he must admit he was amazed at how good he looked. “Oh fuck are my friends going to be jealous of me tomorrow.”

Edward was getting redder and redder. “I better take these off before I get anything on them.” He said to cover his emotions and rapidly retreated back up the hall.

He returned a while later in track pants and loose T and his hair was back to being a mess. But Carlisle still hand never seen anything lovelier. He noticed Edward was slouching again, ‘what was going on inside that beautiful head?’ Thought Carlisle, He couldn’t help wolf whistling. And Edward looked startled.

“Edward… it’s you, not the clothes that’s hot. Remember that.” Carlisle said. A smile graced Edward face. “I bought those cloths so you didn’t feel self-conscious, not because I though you needed to change. I always will remember the first time I saw you on the side of the road… I had never seen a more attractive sight.” Carlisle reached his hand out to take Edwards. He accepted it gladly. They gazed into each other’s eyes silently communicating their gratitude to the other.

“Oh I got you another present.” Said Carlisle eventually breaking the moment. He fished a small box from another bag. “here.” He said handing it to Edward. Edward gazed at it… a mobile phone.

“I thought when you were done at the shrinks you could call me and we could grab a take away dinner for a treat.”

“But… you shouldn’t… it’s too expensive.” Said Edward.

“Edward… back whey you were in high school that model might have been pricey… now it’s $20. I thought something simple for you to get into the swing of things, then we can go and buy you a smart phone of your choosing in a week or so. Once we get you an email, Facebook and twitter address.”

“What… but…”

“Edward you’re my partner… what’s mine is yours…”

Edward chuckled at this “I don’t have much to share.”

“Edward, you shared your heart with me… no one ever has ever done that to me before.  That’s more precious than diamonds…” Edward averted his gaze. He didn’t know what to say and Carlisle took his hand again and gently squeezed it.

….

They finally cleared away, this time Edward insisting on doing the dishes since Carlisle had worked that day. Carlisle was exhausted and didn’t put up much of a fight. He showed Edward how to program the dish washer when it was full. Edward was a quick learner.

When Edward was finished he turned out the lights and headed up the hall. The shower was still running. Carlisle certainly did like his long showers.

Edward was feeling a little light headed from the several more beers he had downed during diner; he knew he was trying to get drunk so he wouldn’t freak out with Carlisle… it was pathetic but he couldn’t see an alternative. Whether it was the beer thinking for him or not suddenly an impulse came over him. He took a deep breath and opened the bathroom door quietly.

There under the water behind the misted glass screen was a naked Carlisle. Edward had seen him naked before. But whereas last time, he was embarrassed to admit, he just cataloged his physical failures, cruelly comparing him to other clients; this time all he saw was a beautiful man that he wanted to please.

He rapidly striped and taking another deep breath opened the shower door.

Carlisle let out a scream that startled them both with it’s volume. “Edward… what are you doing?” he asked a little too loudly while wiping water out of his eyes, then immediately moving his hands to cover his modesty.

“I…I…I…” Edward stammered. He so hoped Carlisle wasn’t angry. He was about to run from the room ashamed but fortunately something held him rooted in place. “I thought you might like your back rubbed.” Was the best he could do.

Carlisle face softened. A smile broke over his face. His damp hand came up to caress his cheek. “You’re a mind reader.” Said Carlisle. “And I’m sorry I yelled at you. You just startled me…”

Edward smiled and took a step into the shower, Carlisle didn’t close the door, not wanting Edward to feel trapped. But Edward pulled it shut of his own volition.

It had been years since he showered with another man. And that had been all about fucking with Jake as many times in one day as he could while his parents were away for the weekend. There was another time after that which he had wiped from his memory, too painful to relive; ghosts of it haunted his vision now, but he pushed them away focusing on what was in front of him. Who was in front of him and what he meant to him.

Their hands caressed each other gently. Reverently exploring every part of their bodies.

Edward took the wash cloth from the shelf and soaped it and began to retrace where his hands had been with the cloth. Carlisle emitted a soft groan. Edward moved around behind him and slowly rubbed his back. It felt so good Carlisle started going weak at the knees and had to prop himself up on the wall of the shower with his arms to prevent himself falling.

Edward worshiped every inch of Carlisle’s back. Tracing each muscle, the large planes of his shoulder blades, down each arm; working the tired muscles in his triceps, down each knot of his spine. Carlisle groaned and moaned with pleasure letting Edward know how good his ministrations felt.

Edward came to Carlisle’s butt cheeks which he massaged with the wash cloth. But didn’t dare to enter the promised land… not yet. He then moved down his thighs and calves working each muscle. He was now on his knees before Carlisle and SO wanted to turn Carlisle around and taste him.  He could tell that Carlisle had been hard from the second Edward entered the shower, but like the perfect gentlemen he was he had done nothing but try and conceal it at first and now ignored it.

This wasn’t about sex to Carlisle. It was about love. One day, hopeful the two would come together between them… but Carlisle could wait.

Edward hovered on the cusp of leaning around. Of taking Carlisle in his hands. But he started feeling light headed. The shower was suddenly smaller than it had seemed before. He kicked himself when he felt himself stand up again. His own aching manhood withering before him.

He went to open the door but Carlisle turned and locked him in an embrace. But carefully kept his groin pointed to the side.

“Edward… nothing is going to happen you don’t want… This isn’t about sex… this is about love. Let me wash you… I promise I won’t touch anything you don’t want time to.”

Edward was at war with himself. Carlisle could see it raging behind his wildly staring eyes and accelerated shallow breathing.

Carlisle now took charge. He didn’t know if what he was doing was right, but he guessed Edward would tell him to stop if he didn’t like it. He turned Edward to face the door of the shower so he could see his escape route was still clear, then he took the wash cloth and began working on Edward’s back.

Within moments a whimper came from Edward. His eyes shut and he slowly began to relax.

Carlisle never left Edward’s upper back and arms, lavishing attention on them. He then massaged his neck, the tight knots of muscle; the outward manifestation of Edward’s inner war. He then got some shampoo and started to work it into Edward’s hair. Edward bent down to allow Carlisle greater access given their height difference.

Carlisle was in no hurry. He worked the lather through his auburn locks. Letting its glorious softness run through his fingers. He massaged his scalp feeling the tight muscles begin to loosen.

Edward was moaning now. He had never had anyone do this to him since his mom used to when he was a little boy… and that was completely different. It was the same soft tender loving, but this was also love of a completely different kind. What usually scared Edward now seemed to become natural.

When Carlisle thought Edward was calm he rinsed his hair then started rubbing his lower back.

Edward had never felt this good before. He was so relaxed. He felt safer than he ever had with a partner. He reached back to feel Carlisle’s not so ‘average’ length. Remembering with a smile how Carlisle modestly described it before he got a chance to see it.

Carlisle was going to stop him… he thought they might be moving too fast. But the feeling of Edward’s butter soft hand wrapped around his length drove the logic from his head.

Edward began slowly working Carlisle’s 7 inches of manhood as Carlisle continue to massage Edwards back and now his buttocks, careful to stay clear of his healing hole.

Carlisle then began to place kisses along Edwards shoulder blades. Then nip them… he was getting worked up now.

Edward had never had anyone bite him there and it felt so erotic. How come Carlisle could press all his buttons so perfectly?

Edward was now hard as a rock and he needed some attention, he took one of Carlisle hands from his back and brought it round and placed it on his abdomen, not game to ask Carlisle to touch him where he wanted, but hoping Carlisle would make the link.

Carlisle got the hint and ventured south wrapping his hand round Edward’s hard flesh and slowly working it, running his thumb gently over the engorged head to Edwards whimpers. Meanwhile continuing to kiss Edwards shoulder’s and neck.

Carlisle worked up to Edward’s ear and in between labored breaths, as he fought back climax from Edward ministration to his manhood he whispered into it “I love you Edward.” He then nipped his ear. This pushed Edward over the edge. The few reservations he had were gone. He took a step back and guided Carlisle to his eager hole.

Carlisle froze… stopped his nibbling and gently pushed Edward away.

“Edward… I can’t… It too soon… I’ll hurt you.” He breathed trying to remain in control. Every fiber of his being wanted to plunge into his soft depths and make him his.

“I don’t care… I’m used to it… I want you now Carlisle.” Edward moaned. Trying to guide Carlisle back to his puckered entrance.

Carlisle moved fast. He spun Edward around and pinned him against the shower wall facing him.

“Not yet Edward… but that doesn’t mean that I don’t want to make love to you every other way.” And with that he traced a scorching hot path of kisses down to Edward swollen member which he in one move rapidly swallowed to the hilt. Edward let out a cry of pleasure. It had all happened so fast that he didn’t have time to be disappointed. And now that Carlisle’s skilled tongue was lathing at the underside of his cock while Carlisle swallowed round its head all other thoughts had disappeared.

Carlisle worked Edward like a porn star. Edward had never had head this good. Carlisle veritably worshiped his cock. Varying from soft and gentle flips of his tough at the frenulum to deep throating suction like an industrial vacuum and the occasional gentle biting.

Edward was basically falling to pieces. And embarrassingly quickly his hands shot into Carlisle hair and he began thrusting into Carlisle’s mouth... he knew it was impolite but he couldn’t help himself, it felt too good. He had lost all control of himself. And when he came every muscle of his body tensed as Carlisle sucked the seed from him. Carlisle continue till Edward was dry and limp. Edward lent back against the wall and began sliding down it, ever one of his muscles had turned to jelly… he felt boneless.

Carlisle propped Edward up and kissed his way back up to Edward’s mouth where their mouths looked in passion. Edward tasting himself on Carlisle’s tongue.

Edward laced his hands in Carlisle’s hair as their tongues went to war. Carlisle was busy supporting Edward’s limp body. But he didn’t mind. He had wanted his hand on any part of Edward for so long he loved it.

When they had to come up for air Edward gasped. “Carlisle… I want you… I need you inside me.” He pulled Carlisle hair as if to demonstrate his urges.

Carlisle reached for the bottle of silicone lube on the shower shelf and massaged his cock.

“Yessss.” Said Edward satisfied his urge had finally been listened to. He went to hook his leg around Carlisle’s waist to allow him entry, but Carlisle pushed it down.

“Not tonight Josephine.” He quipped. And before Edward could complain he placed his erect member between Edward’s legs, rubbing against his balls and perineum.

“Fuck” said Edward. Carlisle smiled. He then locked lips with Edward who’s hardening cock was trapped between their bodies.

Carlisle rubbed firmly but carefully, making sure never to reach far enough in to get anywhere near Edwards entrance… it was still too close for comfort for Carlisle but he had run out of ideas of how to put Edward off being penetrated.

Carlisle wrapped his thighs around Edward, sandwiching his legs and thus tightening the entrance. He groaned into Edwards mouth at the experience.

His hand ran over Edwards arms… his sides... his back and buttocks firmly wedged against the shower stall.

Edward removed his hands from Carlisle hair and grabbed his buttocks squeezing, trying to push Carlisle deeper, deep enough to enter him, but Carlisle was stronger then he looked and even in his lust filled haze remained in control.

Soon he was getting close.

“Edward I’m going to come… do you want me to move.” He asked worried about aggravating Edwards woods.

“Cum in me… make me yours.” Yelled Edward rolling his head back in ecstasy.

That answered his questions and a few pumps later Carlisle was unloading his seed in-between Edwards legs. And all down the back of the shower stall.

Carlisle attacked Edward’s mouth as he did this only breaking apart to scream “Edward I love you.”

The friction from their two bodies, the slickness of the water falling and the prospect of Carlisle breeding him also pushed Edward over the edge and he again climaxed violently covering both their stomachs with his seed.

They held each other like drowning men holding a life belt as they climbed down from their orgasms.

Finally, they pulled apart. Carlisle lavishing Edward with baby kisses all over his body. He then gently began to clean Edward as Edward reciprocated.

Edward looked at the wall of the stall painted with jizz.

“You didn’t cum in me…” he said disappointed.

“Sorry.” Carlisle really meant it. “Believe me, when your doctor tells me it’s OK… I don’t want to be out of you all night.”

Edward snorted at this, still disappointed.

“Edward… I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I’m used to it.” he said flippantly.

“Not from me Edward… what those bastards did to you I will never do… please never compare me to them… I know I’m not much, but I’m better than that surely.”

Edward could see the hurt in Carlisle’s eyes… he had never seen that before. No one had ever given a flying fuck if they hurt Edward. Now his callousness had injured the last man in the world he wanted to hurt.

“Carlisle… I’m sorry… you ARE completely different from them… I just… I want you so bad. And this is the only way I know how to show it.” Carlisle eyes softened. He stroked Edward’s cheek.

“We’ll work it out baby… it’ll only be a few weeks then baby steps… it will be worth it in the end, believe me. And I will show you how to love me in every other way possible… I can’t say you won’t miss it… but you won’t be bored, that I can guarantee.” Said Carlisle with a dirty smirk. Edward chuckled.

Carlisle's helped Edward clean his wounds with the antibacterial wash that was recommended by his doctor just to be sure.

They then got out and lovingly dried each other. Edward then went and said goodnight to Bella then they both went to bed in each other’s arms. Completely satisfied.

Just before they went to sleep Carlisle said. “Edward… I love you.”

Edward half asleep dreamily said. “I love you to Carlisle…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what do you think?  
> This didn’t end like I planned, I had planned an angsty end, but the shower scene came out of left field and well… I thought it worked.  
> This means that the story will probably be a chapter longer then I intimated in order to get all the important events that are to come in and some surprises that surface from Edward's past. Stay tuned... I’ll post as soon as I can.


	5. New Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last night was a big night, and today is THE big Day; Carlisle is not only going to ‘come out’ but going to show Edward to his work mates… Also Edward is going to the psychiatrists to deal with his intimacy issues… will all go smoothly?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Everyone, thanks for reading, it means a lot to me!  
> Sorry this has taken a while, my real life (Job/ love life) has got in the way of my writing, but here it is finally, the next chapter, and it’s a bit shorter this time for a change :-)  
> Enjoy...

Carlisle woke entwined with Edward in the morning, happier than he had ever been. He played with Edward’s hair in his fingers… No longer afraid that the intimacy may send him running. Last night was a break through, not just the sex… which was great, mind-blowing, orgasmic… but the fact that Edward initiated it and followed through.

Yes, Edward had had a little too much to drink. But who hasn’t started a sexual relationship on the back of a little Dutch courage. No it was that the ghosts that danced before Edward’s eyes; the demons that haunted his thoughts every time Carlisle touched him and vice versa, seemed to have been exorcised. There was a certain reservation which was only to be understood from a person who, though he had enormous sexual practice, had very little romantic experience.

Edward slowly slipped out of sleep. When he opened his eyes and saw Carlisle’s face beaming at his, for the first time he didn’t immediately jump.

“Hey.” Edward said.

“Hey yourself.” Said Carlisle playfully. He took the risk and leaned over and lightly touched his lips on Edwards. He was rewarded with arms wrapping tightly round him pulling him closer.

When they broke apart. Carlisle breathed “Good morning my love.” Edward flushed and smiled. Carlisle would never tire of how easily Edward blushed... it was so strange for someone of his profession. He wondered how he managed to get through a work day…. Then he realized that most of what he did didn’t involve flattery and he kicked himself for being so stupid. But the fact that through all that Edward remained so shy and… cute was a miracle.

“Where did you go?” asked Edward propping himself up on one arm.

Carlisle looked questioningly.

“I’m starting to be able to read you Carlisle Anthony Cullen… You were deep in thought for a moment… if its private that’s OK…” Edward added as an afterthought, thinking he might be prying.

Carlisle chuckled. Then lied slightly. “I was wondering how it was possible that someone who has been through so much could remain so pure and perfect.” Edward flushed again as Carlisle gently readjusted a hair that had fallen down into Edwards face…

“Scarcely” he final scoffed… “Wait till next time were in bed… I’ll show you pure…” then with a dirty grin he said… “I’ll show you perfect.”

“I bet you will... Because you already have.” Said Carlisle kissing him playfully then getting up before Edward could deepen the kiss.

“Hey…” said Edward annoyed.

“Hey right back at you… we both need to be out of here by 8:30 so no time for horse play…” said Carlisle pulling on some boxers.

“Owww.” Edward pouted.

“Hey… your meeting my closest friends today. I can’t wait to see their faces when they meet you…” said Carlisle almost bouncing with excitement, for some reason he felt like a kid at Christmas again.

Edward smiled at this to cover his nervousness.

They rose and went out. Carlisle put the coffee on and got a bowl out for Edward’s cereal while Edward took care of Bella.

“Hey… I should be doing that.” Said Edward walking into the kitchen.

“What, I’m not allowed to take care of my lover?” Asked Carlisle with a satisfying redness resulting on Edward. Carlisle smiled pleased with himself. Edward mouthed “Fucker”. Carlisle winked. He then sat opposite Edward with his coffee.

A devious look came over Edward. He wanted his revenge on Carlisle and knew the best way. He glanced at the clock… 7:30. They had plenty of time…

“I think I might have some cream with this if that’s OK?” asked Edward innocently.

“Sure.” Said Carlisle making to go and get some.

Edward grabbed his hand… “No let me…” He said getting up. Carlisle settled back on his stool. Edward gave him a filthy grin then dropped to his knees under the table. Before Carlisle could ask what he was doing Edward had fished his manhood out of his boxers and was sucking on it.

Carlisle breath hitched. He was going to protest but for some reason all the thoughts just left his head as Edward swirled his tongue around his engorged other head.

Edward prided himself on his blow jobs… after all he was a professional… and though a strangers seed in his mouth wasn’t very pleasant it was less painful then being hard fucked with no or too little lube... especially since a couple of his customers were very well endowed.

Carlisle laced his fingers through Edwards hair relishing in its soft silkiness. Carlisle at that moment wasn’t sure which he preferred the feel of, Edward’s hair running through his fingers or his tongue running up his shaft… Edward then took all of Carlisle into his mouth, his head hitting the back of his throat and sliding down it… when Edward swallowed around his head Carlisle made up his mind that though Edward hair was perfection… his head was better.

In an embarrassingly short time Carlisle was on the brink. He tried not to grip Edward too tight and he fought the urge to thrust into Edwards mouth… Edward deserved better than that.

“Going to come.” Carlisle warned, expecting Edward to back off and finish him with his hand. He was flabbergasted when Edward proceeded to deep throat him, continuously swallowing around his head. Carlisle let out a gasp as his seed exploded from him and down Edward’s throat, he wanted to cry out but his orgasm was so powerful it just knocked the air out of his lungs. Edward didn’t slow up and milked Carlisle of his last drop then meticulously licked him clean.  He then popped Carlisle back in his boxers and stood up and sat innocently back at the table.

“Now that’s my kind of cream.” Said Edward with a saucy grin.

Carlisle was still climbing down from the best blow job of his life, gasping for air and incapable of string a reply together.

Edward started eating his cereal looking at the blissed out Carlisle with a satisfied smile... He really was good at his job. Eventually he became concerned that Carlisle had blown a gasket or had a stroke or something.

“You OK?” he asked.

“You… that was… perfect.” Carlisle stammered.

Edward smiled.

A look of concern came across Carlisle face. “You didn’t… I really should.” Carlisle still was finding it difficult to communicate. He started to get down from the stool. Edward looked concerned, had he gone too far for straight laced Carlisle, blowing him at the breakfast table?

Carlisle picked up on Edward’s expression and forced his brain to start to string a coherent sentence together.

“You didn’t cum... I should reciprocate.” He said.

“No need.” Said Edward, he then fished in his pants with his left hand and pulled it out slick. He had blown his load when Carlisle had… the experience of giving Carlisle so much joy, the noises he made, the softness of his touch, pushed him over the edge while hardly touching his own cock.

Carlisle took his hand and sucked his slick fingers. Edward groaned… the feel of Carlisle’s soft warm mouth sucking on his digits was nearly enough to make him cum again.

“You were so gentle… it made me cum just thinking about it.” said Edward.

Carlisle popped Edwards fingers out of his mouth. “Baby… I’ll face fuck you if that’s what you want. But only if you ask… I would never just presume.” He stroked Edwards cheek tenderly. Edward sighed… This was so right… so perfect.

They finished breakfast and Edward showered to relieve his stickiness. They then got dressed, Carlisle wolf whistling Edward when he came out of his room wearing his new clothes. His hair brushed. Edward flushed a little and smiled widely.

After biding their respective animal’s goodbye for the day, they climbed into the car and headed off. Carlisle changing the channel to the classical music station for a relaxing ambience.

Carlisle handed Edward his credit card.

“What if they check the signature?” asked Edward.

“Signatures are irrelevant now…. It’s all pins, unless it’s under $25 then it’s pay wave.” Carlisle said. Edward looked like he was talking a foreign language.

“How about I get cash out for you…” suggested Carlisle. Edward looked happier at this.

Carlisle headed by the store and went in. He came out and handed Edward a wad of $50 notes.

“That’s $500… if you need more just get the staff to put whatever it is aside in your name and I’ll come and pay for it after work.”

“$500!” Said Edward counting it… he had never seen this much money in his life.

“Your right… it’s not really enough for a whole wardrobe… I’ll go and get some more.” Edward grabbed Carlisle’s hand before he could get out.

“There is no way I’m spending all of this… not even close to it.” he said handing it back.

“Edward… nice clothes cost money. Quite a lot of money. Carlisle paused for a few moments. “Edward, are you OK doing this by yourself?”

“Of course.  I can go shopping without someone holding my hand.” He said bluntly. He saw the look of embarrassment on Carlisle face at the rebuke. “Sorry.”

“No, you’re right, I’m just being stupid… It’s just that I’d love to come along.”

“But you have to work…”

“Would you mind me coming?”

“Of course not… But you have to work.”

“Edward, for years now, because I was the only staff member that didn’t have a life, every time someone was sick or had a family crisis I got called in to fill in… I never take sick leave… I don’t think anyone would mind me taking a day off.”

Edward smiled at this… he didn’t want to admit it to Carlisle but he was a little nervous about his first time in a mall in five years.

….

Carlisle dropped Edward at the mall and said he would meet him soon, he just needed to sort out his absence at the office. He said he would call him on the mobile to see which shop he was in. They kissed goodbye and Edward jumped out at the entrance and Carlisle drove off.

Carlisle arrived at the office and said hello to everyone, then went to see his boss about taking the day off… and about Edward coming to lunch.

“Esme… Is it OK if I take today off? … something’s come up and well…”

“Carlisle, I have been telling you to take your leave or you would lose it for weeks now… you know today is a slow day, so go for it.” Said Esme with her customary smile and flicking her long brown hair.

“Thanks… Umm has everyone had their morning coffee?”

“No Rosalie has just gone to get it.”

“When she gets back, can we have a quick staff meeting?  There’s something I need to talk to you all about.” Carlisle asked nervously.

“Sure.”

When Rosalie, a tall leggy blond bombshell came back brandishing their coffee’s on a cardboard tray; Esme told everyone to take their phones off the hook and to come to the staff room.

They filed in after her and took their coffee appreciatively from Rosalie.

“If I had of know we were having a pow wow I would have got those biscotti’s that are to die for.” Said Rosalie.

“Oh yes, we SO need those to get through another boring meeting.” Said Alice, a small girl with dark short cropped hair and an infectious smile.

After everyone had settled and finished the chatter Esme interrupted. “OK everyone, this is just a quick get together. Carlisle has something he wants to talk to us about and then it’s back to work.”

All eyes focused on Carlisle who took a sip of his coffee to steady his nerves. He hadn’t thought it would be this formal, he imagined standing around the water cooler… But now was his chance, no need to be chicken shit. Other than Esme, Rosalie and Alice, there was Emily Young, a Native American and the congressman’s indigenous adviser. And Angela Webber the I.T. staffer who also helped out with Latino relations. The congressman preferred to hire women, he said they were more loyal, and there were less office head butting and one upmanship.

“Ummm… there are two things I need to talk to you about…” He took another swig of his coffee… OK here goes his political career, but Edward was worth it. “First, I’d like to apologize for how long it has taken me to tell you guys this. It’s not that I don’t trust you or see you as my friends, it’s just there’s never really was a need to talk about my non-existent love life.” Fuck! Saying love life in front of his boss was weird, thank God congress was sitting, there is no way he could do this in front of the congressman. “I need to tell you… that I’m gay.” Carlisle held his breath and waited for the response.

It was Rosalie who broke the silence with a splutter. Everyone looked at her daggers. “What… oh come on we all guessed. Carlisle you’re 40 and have never been seen with a woman. We sort of put two and two together.”

Carlisle’s face reddened with embarrassment.

“Rosalie, that doesn’t mean that we don’t appreciate Carlisle’s gesture. Thank you Carlisle.” Said Esme coming to Carlisle’s rescue.

“I think it’s cool.” Said Alice jumping up from her chair in her usually exuberant manner and running over and hugging Carlisle. “Now you won’t act so weird around Jasper and Emmett.” She said.

Carlisle panicked, Alice and Rosalie’s partners were fuck hot and he had done everything he could to either avoid them or try and act normally around them. Anything to cover up his raging and definitely non-reciprocated desire for them.

“They know? Also?” Carlisle stammered.

“Der…” Alice said rolling her eyes. “You eye fuck them every time they are around. They find it flattering… there is a private argument over which of them is the hottest. Maybe you could enlighten them.” Said Alice.

This was not happening to Carlisle… this was not the way this was supposed to go.

“You said two things?” Esme tactfully said hoping that it might lower Carlisle’s blood pressure, that at this point she was beginning to worry about.

“Yes… thanks… Well their related. The other reason why I wanted to tell you the truth is, well I’ve met someone. He’s really special and well, I was wondering if anyone would mind if I invited him for lunch?” Carlisle hurried the words to get them said before he chickened out.

“Oh Yes!…” Said Alice.

Rosalie then chimed in “Finally! Emmett was thinking you were a cot case… We were thinking we were going to have to get you a hooker to get you laid and start to relax a bit.” Carlisle choked on his coffee.

“Now Rosalie… let’s not kill Carlisle. That would be wonderful Carlisle… we’ll order a special lunch in.”

“So what’s his name?” asked Emily frustrated at the lack of details.

“Oh… Sorry, Edward, Edward Masen. He’s from Frisco. I met him when I went to the conference last weekend.”

“Wow… fast mover.” Said Angela, I’ll have to get you to talk too Eric, he’s taking for ever to get anywhere.”

“That’s because he’s gay… get Carlisle to talk to him and you’ll lose him…” said Rosalie bitchily.

“He SO is not… he’s just a gentleman.” Rebuked Angela.

“Yeah, another word for ‘gay guy’ if you ask me…” Retorted Rosalie. “Let’s ask the expert… Carlisle, Angela’s Eric… do you think he’s a mattress muncher? Get any feeling you want to bend him over the water cooler or anything?”

Carlisle face was now the color of a lobster.

“Rosalie, that is not appropriate language for the office… Carlisle would have grounds for a sexual harassment suit against us if this continues.” Said Esme intervening. “Now Carlisle, if there is nothing else, I take it Edward is waiting for you?” Carlisle nodded in confirmation.  “Why don’t you run off and let us get this office back to a professional tone and we promise to be on our best behavior at lunch… don’t we Rosalie.” Said Esme looking sternly at Rosalie.

“What?” She said folding her arms across her middle.

“Thanks.” said Carlisle downing the last dregs of his coffee and practically running out of the room, which had already degenerated into a rabble of conversations. Angela and Alice conferring about the signs that Eric might indeed be gay.  Rosalie and Emily talking about how precious Angela was about the subject.

Esme took the opportunity to pursue Carlisle. She caught up with him by the back door out to the staff parking lot.

“Carlisle.” She called after him, he wheeled around in surprise.

“I’m sorry about that.” She said.

“It’s OK… just a little more than I expected… I really am sorry that…”

Esme raised her hand to silence him. “Carlisle, you have been through hell over the past couple of years… I know. No one here blames you for keeping it to yourself. You had enough on your plate.” Carlisle let out a sigh of relief. “That being said… umm Carlisle. You know we all think that you are a wonderful, kind, smart, funny, warm guy.”

Carlisle looked confused, was Esme hitting on him? Now of all times?

“I’m saying, that I know you’re not that experienced in these maters…” she took a breath and tried to work out how to put what she wanted to say. “Carlisle, this has happened so fast, I just want to say; don’t just grab the first guy that comes along… you deserve so much more than that. Take your time. There’s no doubt there is a great guy out there that can see the real you and will make you happy.”

Carlisle smiled at this. Esme was like a mother hen with him sometimes, even though she was only about 5 years older than him. She was the earth mother type he guessed.

“Wait till you meet Edward, then see if you think I have done alright for myself.” Said Carlisle.

“Edward is a very formal name… does he like Ed or Eddie?”

“I must admit I have never asked… Edward seems to suit him… I never thought too call him anything else… in public that is.” Carlisle corrected with a flush.

Esme smiled, she didn’t like to ask how old this made him... “Edward it is. Now go, you don’t want to keep him waiting for ever.” She said pecking Carlisle on the cheek in a motherly way. Carlisle hurried off. Esme had visions of a middle aged to elderly, plump, possibly balding guy who was rather introverted. To like being called Edward was definitely a sign. When Esme got back to the staff room, the subject of the gayety of Eric Yorkie had been dropped and they were running a sweep on what Edward looked like. Alice was a great handicapper and she was running the book. Height.  Weight.  Hair colour and thickness, or even existence.

“Ok everyone, you’ve had your fun. Now before we give the tax payers a little of our time, I am warning everyone to be on their best behaviour at lunch. We all know Carlisle has gone through hell in the past. He is so different now, we don’t want to ruin his happiness now do we?” She said looking at Rosalie who glowered back. “The first person that says a tactless remark over lunch is fired. I mean it.” Esme said in a no nonsense voice. Everyone nodded in silence. Esme was a kind, warm person but had a will of toughened steel. Not even the congressman dared to challenge her when she had made up her mind something was right. That’s why he hired her to be his chief, he wanted someone who could talk him down from making a fool of himself.

….

Carlisle sat in the car taking time to calm down. If Edward saw him like this, he would panic… in fact Carlisle wasn’t sure if it was a good idea exposing Edward to his office after all. He had forgotten how petty they could be… Not really mean or vindictive, but overly personal and that was the last thing Edward needed right now.

When his heart rate returned to normal he went over to the mall and called Edward to see where he was.

Edward answer of the fourth ring, no doubt getting used to the device.

“Hey babe, where are you?” said Carlisle,

There was a momentary pause then Edward stuttered. “G. g. goodwill.” Carlisle rolled his eyes… this was going to be more difficult than he had planned.

“I’ll be there in a few minutes… Bye babe” Said Carlisle. He then headed to the thrift store thinking how he could tactfully tell Edward he wasn’t having him walking around in public, in second hand clothes.

He found Edward looking at a pair of jeans that were more than a couple of sizes too large. There is no way he was letting Edward get that fat.

Carlisle came up and kissed Edward on the cheek to the glances of onlookers.

“Edward what are you doing in here.” He said quietly.

“Have you seen the prices in the windows of the other stores.” Edward said.

“Yes… that’s why I said $500 probably wouldn’t be enough.”

“It’s ridiculous.”

“Edward how about we save a debate on the flaws of capitalism for later and we get you a few nice clothes to wear.”

“OK... what do you think?” asked Edward of the jeans.

“Are you planning on eating that much?” asked Carlisle. Edward reddened. Carlisle kissed him again, then took the jeans from him and put them back on the hanger, took Edward by the hand and lead him out of the shop.

After a few false starts Edward finally began to relax and they got some nice smart casual clothes for him to wear. The last store they went in had no price tags which made Carlisle cringe at what the prices might be, but thought Edward was worth it.

Edward began to lose himself in the experience of trying on fashionable clothes that fitted him perfectly and he looked good in.

The staff which consisted of two girls in their late teens and a guy of about the same age, that given the amount of time he spends checking out Edward’s ass, must be gay.

All other customers, which there were not many, were abandoned as they fussed over Edward. Flirting shamelessly and touching him excessively. Carlisle began feeling like a third wheel. He sat over to the side away from the hustle and bustle not liking the intent of the staff one bit.

When Edward went into a booth to change into another outfit Carlisle overheard the staff talking too loudly in their cubicle.

“He’s gay…” said the boy.

“Oh you so wish… no way... he’s got my name all over him.” Said one of the girls.

“In your dreams.” Said the other girl.”

“He is so totally too good looking to be straight.” said the boy.

“Yeah, and I can turn a queer with a look, any day.” Said the first girl.

“Yeah, hasn’t worked sister.” the boy joked

“That’s because why would I want your bony ass.” The girl retorted.

“Anyway, imagine what a drag it is for him to have to bring dad along to watch…” said the other girl.

“Yeah, I mean really, cut the umbilical… Old people are such control freaks.” Agreed the guy.

Carlisle felt sick… He looked at his reflection in the huge mirors that faced him from across the room; he knew it was true… he was old enough to be Edward’s father. That’s how people would see him, and it would only get worse… maybe Edward would be better off with one of these young people. His own age. Able to fit in and not turn heads.

Edward came out with tight, low cut, black jeans on that showed off his ass beautifully, he was also wearing a silk T that clung to his body in all the right places. But what would have sent Carlisle into a fit of ecstasy only a few minutes ago barely registered now.

Edward’s brow creased. He was getting better at reading Carlisle. He saw the staff coming out of their cubicle to fuss over him and the distance Carlisle was now siting away from the action and put two and two together.

He went over and practically thrust his backside in Carlisle’s lowered face. “How does my ass look in these.” He purred.

Carlisle swallowed and tried to find the words… every thought had just disappeared from his head. Edward could still turn him into a pile of slobbering jelly with just a word or a gesture. Edward smiled at the effect, also the fact the staff had now backed off and were wordlessly mouthing at each other that Edward and Carlisle were no doubt an item.

“F. F. Fine.” Carlisle finally choked out.

“As long and you like them baby.” Said Edward wiggling his ass and then going back in to change into something different.

“O.M.F.G.” Carlisle said under his breath trying to control his breathing and stop his pants from tenting.

The staff had retreated back into their cubicle.

“Sugar daddy.” Said the girl.

“Definitely… what a waste. But then there’s no way grandpa could get it up to satisfy him… means I’m in for a chance. Daddy ‘warbucks’ pays the hotel bill and I leave my deposit in his cupcake.” Said the boy.

Carlisle knew he should be angry, but this seemed to wash over him… he had pulled himself together and realised with Edward’s little performance that he only had eyes for Carlisle. So the rest of the world could go fuck itself.

Edward came out with some skin tight leather pants on and a red silk shirt that looked like it had been painted on.

“Whoa… this is too much.” He said admiring himself in the mirror. Carlisle agreed, thinking, ‘There was no way he was wearing that in public… but maybe a private viewing…. No… Carlisle think of your geometry teacher naked, no tenting in public.’

The staff were not as attentive now they knew Edward was off the market. They stayed just outside their cubicle whispering a little too loudly to each other.

“I wonder where daddy picked him up?” said the boy.

“Probably pool boy… doesn’t look like he does anything… and it’s not brains grandpa is after, they don’t need brains to lie down and take it.” said the girl bitchily.

Edward heard… The smile on his face slid off. His posture slumped again. Carlisle began to fume… On Edward’s first day out this had to happen. He felt like demanding to talk to the manager, telling him or her that they had the worst staff ever and they should be fired immediately or he would sue the store for libel… But that wouldn’t make Edward feel good again. And that was his only real concern now. A plan flashed through his head so fast it must have been divine intervention.

Carlisle was a good liar… a very good liar… it was his profession after all… he would put it to work.

He walked over and admired Edward’s clothes.

“Too bad you can’t wear those in front of Judge Swanson when summing up for the defence… he’d be so busy wanting to bend you over the bench and show you his gavel you wouldn’t need to mention one point of law… he’d be putty in your hands.”

Edward looked confused. Carlisle inclined his head to the staff who were now listening.

Edward still looked confused. “Though I’m glad you didn’t wear that when you represented me… I don’t think Judge Bishop would have taken kindly to me sporting a massive erection in the witness box.” Carlisle said placing a proprietary hand on Edward’s ass.

Edward saw what Carlisle was getting at.

“Yeah… not exactly appropriate dress for court.” He said trying to go along with what Carlisle was saying.

“Anyway, get changed babe, I’m done slumming it for today… it won’t do your legal carer any good being seen in last years’ fashion.” He said loud enough for every other customer to hear and looking directly at the staff, dumped the dozen or so items of clothing they had selected in a heap on the floor. Fortunately, the stereotype that all gays had great fashion sense was in force and the other customers started placing the items they were admiring back on the racks and discreetly sidling out.

Edward hurriedly got changed, when he came out Carlisle kissed him passionately, then took his hand and lead him out. The staff were still standing there with their mouths open.

When they got out of the store Edward released the breath he was holding.

“What was that all about?” he asked.

“I was going to have them fired, but I thought that was more fun…”

“Thank you… you didn’t need to.”

Carlisle took Edwards head gently in his hands and looked deeply into his eyes “Edward. No one belittles you in my presence.” he said in a no nonsense voice. “So what store next?”

“I’m really not in the mood.” Said Edward.

“Look, not every store will have rude staff… how about we go to my tailors… I’m sure he has some stuff for younger guys and the amount of money I spend their he’ll be licking your shoes.”

“No... really… I’m sorry… but.” Edward was beginning to feel claustrophobic. As though everyone was looking at him.

Carlisle could see the signs of a picnic attack on the way. “OK.” He said and gave Edward a brief chaste kiss on the lips to calm his nerves, then took him by the hand out of the mall. “Let’s grab some coffee.” He said and lead Edward to a fashionable eatery with an alfresco area filled with tubs of brightly coloured flowers in the dappled shade of trees that were just starting to turn red.

They sat at a table and Carlisle handed Edward a menu.

“What’s your favourite?” Asked Carlisle.

“I always used to have a double shot espresso.” Said Edward.

“Wow, mature much…” said Carlisle. Edward flushed.

The waiter came and took their order. A double shot espresso for Edward and a grande’ cappuccino for Carlisle. And a plate of assorted biscotti to share.

Edward looked at Carlisle with a smirk.

“What?” asked Carlisle.

“Cappuccino? Really?”

“Hey, I embrace my naffness. I wear it as badge of honour.” He said puffing out his chest. “Edward when you get to my age you don’t give a flying fuck what others think; you order what you like. I like cappuccinos… have done since my grandmother used to buy me one when I helped her shopping when I was a just a kid and it made me feel really grown up.” Carlisle smiled at the memory.

“Sorry.” Said Edward thinking he might have offended.

“Edward don’t be… we need to be able to take the piss out of each other... it’s a sign of a healthy relationship.”

Edward nodded. He looked at the flowers around them and the people walking past not paying them a second glace.

“You have no idea how long I have wanted to do this… sit in a café like normal people do… In Frisco, I used to walk past and see everyone so happy and wished one day I could be that person.” Said Edward.

Carlisle took Edward’s hand. “Now you are… And I felt exactly the same. Every time I saw a couple having a romantic coffee I wished it was me, but thought it never would be. Thank you Edward.” Edward flushed a little.

The waiter brought their order and they sat enjoying the sunny autumn day.

“We’ve got over an hour till lunch… what do you want to do?” asked Carlisle.

“Definitely no more clothes for today.” Said Edward.

“OK… how about if I take you to my secret world.” Said Carlisle mysteriously.

Edward knotted his eyebrows… “Secret world?” he asked.

“Yes… the place I escape from the world… down that alley there is the best second hand book store I have ever encountered.”

“Second hand?” Edward asked.

“Yes… it’s not as tatty as it sounds… they have a great collection of rare and out of print books too, a book collector’s wet dream. But they also have a great range. I can spend hours there.” Said Carlisle confessing.

Edward smiled a non-believing smile. “Really… hours?”

Carlisle avoided Edward eyes. “Yeah… I guess I really am a dork.” Carlisle wish he hadn’t mentioned it. books were not cool. A young person doesn’t want to see a musty old book store. What the fuck was he thinking. God Edward will soon realise what an old fart he is and leave.

“Hey…” said Edward trying to get Carlisle attention. Carlisle looked at him shyly. “I just can’t believe that you are into old books too.” Said Edward. Carlisle’s eyes light up. “On wet days in Frisco there was a little store not far from where I lived. It had cheap books. I’d scrimp and save to go and get a paper back. But the owner was so nice she would let me sit and read there. She’d also give me damaged books she couldn’t sell. It was like a paradise. An enchanted kingdom where I could get away from real life and be anyone I wanted to be.”

Carlisle reached over and gently caressed Edward’s cheek. “I love you so much.” Said Carlisle.

Edward raised his hand and placed it over Carlisle’s relishing in his touch. Edward wanted to respond… he wanted to say the words… but something caught… “Me too.” Was the most he could get out. But Carlisle’s eyes kept beaming at him… as if he knew how hard it was for Edward and he didn’t mind. It made Edward feel warm and safe and secure.

They were interrupted by the waiter who had a big smile on his face. “Can I get you anything else?” he asked when the two realised his presence.

“Another coffee?” asked Carlisle, Edward shook his head.

“Just the bill please.” Said Carlisle,

“No problems… oh, and our chef sent this out for you.” Said the waiter placing a plate with a small vanilla cup cake with white icing and two red hearts enjoined on it. The waiter winked and walked off.

Carlisle and Edward looked at each other and looked back into the café where the large, fat Mediterranean looking man in a chef’s hat gave them a perfect sign and blew them a kiss. Edward went the same colour as the trees.

“I’ll be back in a minuet.” Said Carlisle kissing Edward’s cheek and getting up to go and talk to the chef.

Edward wondered what their connection was. Could the chef be an ex? Surely Carlisle would have mentioned it… Edward began to worry.

When Carlisle returned Edward was still looking worried.

“Luigi is an old friend; he comes from a family of vignerons around here. I’ve helped them out a couple of times with planning issues. I forgot he worked here… Now he knows, the whole valley will.” Said Carlisle.

“An ex of yours?” Edward fished.

Carlisle spluttered out a laugh. “Scarcely… he’s married with five kids… no, he’s just an incurable romantic, he’s been trying to set me up for years... but with women… he said he now realized why he hadn’t had any luck, I was his only failure with match making, and it had been getting to him.  And that I should have stopped being a silly boy and told him so he could have set me up with Gino his nephew who is ‘fuck hot and gay as a fruit cake’ to quote him.”

“Really.”

“I thanked him but said I was taken.”

Edward smiled and took a last swig of his coffee.

“I also said to ask Gino about a three way.”

Edward spluttered his coffee.

“It’s just too easy.” Said Carlisle sitting back with a mischievous grin after yanking Edward’s chain.

“Fucker.” Edward mouthed but with a big smile on his face. He like playful teasing Carlisle.

They payed the bill and headed off to the book den.

The Book shop was a small dark shop, it’s walls lined by copious book shelves stacked to bursting with books of all different sizes and ages. There was an old world, musty smell to the shop that Carlisle commented that he loved. Edward had never noticed it before but he too liked this smell, it was comforting, safe somehow; like a second womb where he would be protected from the evil world beyond.

They spent some time comparing what kinds of books they liked, then they split up into their preferences. Carlisle to look at the biographies, history, cooking and gardening; Edward the thriller, crime and spy categories. Carlisle reminded Edward of the money they hadn’t spent on clothes and told him to pick whatever he fancied.

An hour later they met, both with arms groaning with books.  Edward was going to apologize at getting too many till he saw Carlisle’s head almost totally concealed by his own pile.

Carlisle gave Edward a nervous smile from behind his pile.

“What can I say? I love books.” He said, Edward laughed and jiggled his own pile.

They came to the counter where an elderly bespectacled lady sat smiling broadly. You could just tell that books were her life and that she loved to meet fellow enthusiasts. Given her clothes, that were immaculate but probably about 10 years old, she certainly didn’t do this for the money.

“Carlisle… good to see you again.” She beamed as she started to bag his purchases and tally up their cost on an old brass cash register that looked like it was older then she was. “And you have brought a fellow enthusiast.” She added.

“Sue… This is Edward…” Carlisle hesitated, then decided to plough on. Sue was a good friend and he wanted her to know. “My partner.” Carlisle added more hesitantly then he would have liked or felt. He could see Edward’s muscles tense and he wondered if this was a good idea.

“Edward, I’m glad to meet you. You’re a lucky man, Carlisle is a one off.” She beamed without a hint of judgement.

“I know” said Edward… “It’s a pleasure to meet you, you have an amazing shop here.” Said Edward deliberately changing the subject to a safer one.

“It keeps me busy.” Said Sue trying to disguise her obsession. She then turned to Carlisle. “He likes books… treat him well buddy or you’ll have me to answer to.”

“I know… and I’m the lucky one Sue… Edward has changed my life.” Carlisle beamed, relaxing into the conversation. Edward felt heat pricking his cheeks, he wasn’t sure he was enjoying this conversation at all.

Then the little old bespectacled Sue said. “He’s ass spanking hot too, I hope you boys are getting it on as often as you can.”

Edward and Carlisle choked.

“Life’s short, book shops are great for old people, but you two should be home breaking the bed.” She then added. “That’ll be $25.40.”

There was deathly silence for a few seconds, then Carlisle spoke. “We’re taking it slowly Sue… finding out each other’s interests.” Carlisle handed Sue the money for their purchase.

“Screw that… my one regret in life is that I spent so much time trying to break glass ceilings that I didn’t sleep around enough. I lived through the summer of love and had my head buried in books… now I’m stuck here. Don’t make the same mistake. Just looking at the way the two of you look at one another, you are made for each other, interests be damned. Now go back home and set the sheets on fire… Before you know it you’ll both be grey and wrinkled and look back and think ‘why the hell did we waste so much time.’ Now scoot.” She said handing them their bagged purchases.

They both just nodded and escaped the book shop. When outside Carlisle turned to Edward.

“I’m so sorry for that… she’s never like that normally… believe me I never would have taken you in there if I had of know that would happen… this wasn’t me trying….” His rambling was cut off by Edwards lips.

“Shhh.” Edward said when their lips parted. “I know… and she’s right. It’s going to take me a while to get over what happened, but last night was a break thought… I’m sorry that I have taken so long.”

“Don’t ever apologize Edward. I’m honored to spend any time with you at all.”

“Thanks… I mean for everything.” Edward smiled shyly. His eyes dipped under his long lashes and his cheeks colored slightly. Carlisle thought he was a picture of perfection just like that. He kissed him on the cheek.

“You still up for lunch? We can cry off if you have been traumatized enough for one day.”

“No, I’m good.” Said Edward only half meaning it.

They took the books back to the car and then headed to the office for lunch.

Carlisle took Edward in through the front door rather than his customary rout from the parking lot. They walked into the entrance where a large poster of the congressman stood along with numerous poster for various left of centre and social causes, along with government service notices. The office was smartly decorated in a modern style.

Carlisle keyed his access code in the security panel, they heard a beep and he opened the door to the inner offices.

“Wow, security.” Said Edward.

“Yeah, doesn’t happen often, but you occasionally get some nutters that are out of control. An office full of women, we take security seriously.”

They walked into the communal room which all their offices faced. People were assembling there to take a look at what Carlisle had got himself.

Carlisle led the way into the room then stood aside to reveal Edward.

“Ladies, this is Edward Masen… Edward, these are my friends.” Said Carlisle.

Edward gave one of his killer smiles. “Pleased to meet you.” He said.

There was silence. Rosalie actually had her mouth open. You could have cut the air with a knife. Edward ran his hand through his hair which Carlisle knew was a sign he was getting very nervous.

“Where are my manners.” Carlisle interrupted. “Edward, this is Esme my boss.” Carlisle escorted Edward over to the dark haired woman. She had composed herself by now.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you.” She said taking his hand warmly.

“Esme?” Asked Edward surprise. Carlisle and Esme laughed.

“The dog.” Said Esme.

Carlisle explained. “When I told Esme I was looking for a dog she put me in touch with the rescue people… she has two rescue dogs herself and well, as soon as I saw the dog I made the connection. Both beautiful and full of love.” Carlisle flattered. Esme blushed and slapped him on the arm.

“That’ll be enough of that, I told you you’re not getting a raise.” She half joked.

“Let me introduce everyone else. Edward this is Alice.” Alice flung her arms around Edward startling him.

“I am so glad to meet you, Carlisle used to be such a boring old fart, you actually made him a human being.” She said. Edward flushed, Carlisle reciprocated and gave her a stern look which she pointedly ignored.

“This is Angela.” Edward took the small Latino woman’s hand, she smiled nervously as she greeted him. Carlisle could tell she immediately had the hots for Edward. But then again looking around the room they were all shamelessly eye fucking him… this could be a long lunch.

“This is Emily.” Edward took the firm grasp of the native American. She gave him a broad warm smile that made him feel at peace.

“Welcome Edward, we are so glad that you have made Carlisle happy.” Emily said honestly, Edward could tell this was a woman who didn’t lie, didn’t flatter, didn’t waste words, if she said it, she meant it.

“And the woman with her gob open is Rosalie.” Said Carlisle still not believing that Rosalie was behaving like this.

“A pleasure.” Said Edward taking her hand.

“Wow.” Was all Rosalie could say for a moment, then pulled herself together and realize that for the first time in her life she wasn’t in charge of the conversation and rapidly regrouped. She decided to voice what they were all thinking. “So you Bi?”

Edward went red and Carlisle chocked on a cough.

“Rosalie.” Esme chastised. Alice and Angela giggled and blushed.

Rosalie stood there waiting an answer, Carlisle moved to save the situation wrapping a protective arm around Edward’s waist. “So what do we have for lunch?” He asked and escorted Edward to the staff room.

“Oh we have put on a great spread.” Said Esme glad Carlisle had saved the moment. She glowered at Rosalie as she walked off. Rosalie looked pissed that she hadn’t got an answer.

They went to the staff room and there the table was groaning with every type of salad you could think of. Plus, sliced cold turkey, chicken and ham.

“Wow.” Said Edward.

“We take care of our special guests… it’s a shame the congressman can’t be here… but then he’d just get in the way.” She joked. They had a private joke that the office ran better when the congressman wasn’t there.

They sat down and Esme began passing plates and bowls around.

When they all had groaning plates the conversation returned.

“So Edward, what do you do?” asked Esme politely; Carlisle tried to conceal his wince. He saw Edward’s muscles tighten and he lent over and subtly rubbed soothing circles on his back trying to make it look like an intimate pet rather than stress relief and protection.

“I… I…” Edward stuttered the blood draining from his face making him as white as a sheet.

“Edward works in welfare, specializing in homelessness… But I have managed to convince him to take some time off to enjoy what’s left of the warmth before winter sets in.” Said Carlisle coming to the rescue. Edward looked thankfully at him.

“Ah… Yeah, I’m originally from San Francisco. When Carlisle told me how beautiful things were here I though why not take a break.” Edward tried to keep his voice even and not show his nervousness… he hated lying.

“Then you’ll be going back to Frisco?” Asked Esme a little bit of worry creeping into her voice.

“I don’t think so… I might look for something up here or go back to study… Carlisle and I are still talking over the options… He’s been so supportive.” Said Edward not able to conceal the gratitude in his voice. He looked adoringly at Carlisle only to see the mirror image returned, but with a heavy dose of pride added.

“Yes, Edward’s so smart he could turn his hand to anything… Before he discovered the plight of the homeless he was off to Harvard law school, he gave all that up to help people… So it’s just a matter of working out what he wants to do.”

Edward was amazed, it was a complete manipulation of his life story, a fantasy clinging to a few small facts, but Carlisle told it with such passion and enthusiasm he almost convinced Edward that had been his life. Edward didn’t know Carlisle could lie that well. The suspicious part of his mind went back over all their conversations, wondering which were true and which were lies designed to get what he wanted… But Edward’s new self, pushed those thoughts from his mind, now wasn’t the time.

“Well Carlisle really is a lucky boy.” Said Rosalie barely concealing her envy and malice.

“I certainly am.” Said Carlisle sincerely.

“So where are you staying?” Rosalie asked pointedly. Carlisle glowed at her, he could tell she was fishing, if Edward said anywhere other than Carlisle’s place, he knew Rosalie would invite herself over and try out her ‘charms’ on him.

Carlisle couldn’t help but feel a little nervous.

If there was a single bi bone in Edwards body, Rosalie was the one to find it and exploit it. She had done it before. Two friend of Carlisle’s Jared and Embry’s relationship had been destroyed by Rosalie when Embry came home and found Jared fucking her on the sofa… Embry had left in tears… She then dumped Jared the next day, he was a notch on her bedpost that’s all, a gay conquest. How Emmett put up with it he didn’t know.

But over Carlisle’s dead body would Edward become another notch. He took Edward’s hand, making it look supportive but it really was possessive.

Edward looked at Carlisle, a little nervous of what to say, not wanting to embarrass him. Carlisle nodded.

“With Carlisle.” Edward said averting his eyes and flushing. Carlisle fell even more in love with him then, the purity and innocence that still survived in him, in spite of all he had been through. It must be protected.

Carlisle gave him a reassuring smile.

“I’m glad. You’ll have to throw a party to celebrate.” Said Alice practically bouncing on her chair, she loved parties.

“Good idea Alice, well talk to you about planning when we set the date.” Said Carlisle knowing that Alice was the world’s best party planner and if she wasn’t asked she would just take over the planning anyway.

Edward looked a bit nervous, so Carlisle added. “Were in no hurry though. Edward’s still settling in, it’s only been a week.”

“Yes, Alice don’t rush them.’’ said Esme coming to help.

The rest of the lunch went on uneventfully. Rosalie kept trying to hit on Edward but he eluded her with grace. ‘With foot work like that’ Carlisle thought ‘he could have been a star quarterback had he been a bit bulkier.

When it was time to go, they were all firm friends with Edward. They took turns in hugging him goodbye, Rosalie placing her hand on his butt which made Edward go stiff as a board, fortunately not in the part of his anatomy she was aiming for. Esme finally gave him a motherly hug.

“Anything I can do to help just let me know.” She said beaming at them, she thought they were a beautiful couple.

Carlisle took Edward out back to the carpark trying not to hurry. When they were out of the building He stopped Edward and hugged him. Edward hugged him back.

“What was that for?” Edward asked

“Because I’m so happy… because I’m so proud of you… because I want to apologize for Rosalie… because I love you.” Carlisle said. Edward smiled and hugged him again.

When they broke apart they went to the car and Carlisle drove Edward to the therapists.

“Do you want me to come with you?” asked Carlisle as they parked.

“Would you?” asked Edward.

“Sure… you don’t have to do anything on your own now Edward, unless you want to.”

Edward smiled and took Carlisle’s hand as they walked into the building. They waited in the reception, Edward tapping his leg nervously. Carlisle rubbed soothing circles with his thumb on Edward’s palm as they held hands.

Edward was beginning to sweat. Having to re-live what happened to him was running through his head. Having to explain the life he lived and the judgmental looks he always got back. He was beginning to find it difficult to breath.

“You OK baby?” asked Carlisle picking up on the waves of tension coming off Edward.

Edward shook his head; he didn’t trust himself to speak.

“Do you want to leave?” asked Carlisle. Edward looked pleadingly at him. He really did, but he didn’t want to look like a coward. He didn’t want Carlisle to think he was chicken shit.

“Right then.” Said Carlisle getting up, pulling a startled Edward with him. He marched over to the counter.

“Unfortunately we have just remembered a prior appointment we must keep. We will be in contact to re-schedule.” Said Carlisle.

“You will still have to pay the fee.” Advised the receptionist, Edward started to panic.

“I expected so, bill me.” Said Carlisle nonchalantly, then lead Edward out of the room. Edward followed dumbly along, he had lost the power of rational thought for the moment and was happy to be lead off a cliff if it meant getting out of seeing the shrink.

Carlisle took Edward down the road to a coffee shop where he ordered a chocolate milk shake and an iced coffee.

Edward sat there in silence… The thoughts of how disappointed Carlisle must be in him swimming through his head. The thoughts of Carlisle having to pay a bill for something they didn’t get, just because Edward was weak… he almost said that they should go back, but he could get his mouth to form the words.

The order came, the chocolate for Edward, coffee for Carlisle. Edward took a sip, it was cold, creamy, sweet and SO chocolatey - not artificial chocolate, the real thing - it was at this moment the best thing Edward had ever tasted.

After he drained half the tall glass of its contents he felt he was able to voice his feelings.

“Sorry.” Was the best he could start with.

“What for?”

“For costing you money, for chickening out… for…” He was interrupted with Carlisle grasping his hand firmly.

“Edward, you don’t have to do what you don’t want to. The psychiatrist would agree with that.  The very worst thing for you to do, is think you are forced to talk to him. You should do it because you want to. As for the money, forget it. Your happiness means far more to me… Now enjoy your milk shake, then we will decide what take away we will get for dinner.” Said Carlisle.

Edward searched his eyes to see if he was lying… he remembered how good a liar Carlisle was and that worried him a bit, but he was too tired to fight it now, so he just smiled.

They sat in silence till they finished their drinks.

“So what is your all-time favorite take away?” asked Carlisle.

“I haven’t had Chinese in years.” Said Edward.

“Chinese it is… Angela’s boyfriend’s parents run the best Chinese restaurant in the valley, we’ll go there. Do you want another drink?” asked Carlisle, Edward shook his head.

“No, this was great.”

“Yes they make the best milk shakes here, and I thought you needed the sugar.” Said Carlisle thinking it was good for shock.

They paid the bill and went back to the car. Drove to the take away that was on the other side of town and just opening up, then went in to order.

“What’s your favorite dish?”

“I loved Peking Duck.” Said Edward enthusiastically as the exotic smells of the kitchen came swirling out with the girl who came to take their order.

“Peking duck it is.” Said Carlisle.

They also order sweat and sour pork, sesame chicken, chow mien, beef and broccoli, Mongolian beef two orders of special fried rice and four servings of egg rolls.

“This is way too much.” Edward whispered.

“Cold Chinese is great for lunch.” Said Carlisle.

“But you have to work?”

“I thought I’d take Sue’s advice. I’ve got tons of leave up my sleeve…” Carlisle smiled at his pun, Edward reciprocated. “I want to spend time with you.”

“Setting the sheets on fire?” Edward whispered under his breath.

Carlisle spluttered and it was his turn to turn red. Edward smiled at his handiwork.

‘Fucker’ Carlisle mouthed back at Edward parroting his favorite saving.

Edward could tell Carlisle was embarrassed, so he lovingly placed his head on Carlisle shoulder. “That sounds nice.” He cooed.

Carlisle wrapped his arm around Edward, the girl behind the counter smiled. She had known Carlisle for a long time and she, like many of Carlisle’s acquaintances were worried about him being alone so much. She almost thought about trying to push her brother Eric onto him, Carlisle was just his type, though she didn’t know if Carlisle would go along with the bi thing.

They sat and waited for their order and when the bags of steaming goods came out both their mouths salivated. They thanked the girl and hurried off to the car.

They drove home faster than usual, the smell of the food driving them mad. They had been too nervous to eat much for lunch; Edward didn’t want to make a pig of himself in front of Carlisle’s friends either.

After Carlisle intercepted ‘hairy’ Esme, as Edward now called her to stop confusion; Edward carried the food inside, then while Edward went to check on Bella, Carlisle lay the table.

They sat down and gorged themselves on the steaming meal; having course after course, then going back for their favorites and downing a bottle or two of Corona in the process.

Edward had never tasted better Chinese, or maybe it had been so long and this was such a treat, that it just seemed that way; still he wasn’t going to argue.

When they had slowed their eating Carlisle put the TV on to check the news. The first items were of war overseas and famine, then they came to a local story.

“The body of a man has been pulled out of San Francisco bay near the Oakland bay bridge… it has been identified as that of slum lord and former organised crime enforcer Felix Volturi, who has been missing for a week and a half…” Edward took a sharp intake of breath. “The deceased was last seen entering the apartment of a tenant in the Afternoon, two Sunday’s ago; where witnesses say they heard a violent brawl. Police investigating the premises found signs of a struggle and quantities of the blood of both the victim and the tenant. Police are seeking the whereabouts of the tenant, a local sexworker Edward ‘Anthony’ Masen.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what did you think?  
> Did you like human Esme coming into the story? Hope it doesn’t ruin the puppy love.  
> Did Felix get what he deserved?  
> Is Felix stalking Edward even from the grave?  
> Find out next Chapter, which I hope won’t take as long, but no promises…

**Author's Note:**

> Well let me know what you think. I have just about finished Chapter 2 which I'll post if anyone thinks it's worth reading.


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